what do you all think?

Question

I am 38 yo, Male. I am divorced since 11-16-2006, I met a nice 21 yo she is nice and sweet, I have a business
This girl says she love me very much after 3 weeks of dating her, I made her my girlfriend the first day I met her, she is so nice, do you think 16.4 years is too much difference, I took her to my new house, she is virgen I tried to seduce her BUT she say that that could only happen if we get married, my brother says that she has no morality for the simple fact of accepting an invitation to my house a house of a divorce 38 yo man....what should Ithink and tell me if age may be a problem in years to come..when I'll 56 she will be only 40....please make your best comments

Answer 1

It might not be wise to rush into things. No matter the reason for your divorce, who's fault, who divorced whom and why. It is unwise to be of an "I'll show her" attitude. (meaning you are not very upset over the divorce and you're proving it to your ex-wife in a round about way) To do this just for show isn't a good idea. I don't know if that's what's in the back of your mind, but I mention it because I have seen it before and it doesn't work. It might not be a bad idea to set up a little test to your girlfriend. Don't let sex be involved in the test and try not to lie, but see how she reacts to things you say or do such as-- -Tell her you're not sure if you're retirement benefit will be enough to live on when the time comes to retire. Tell her that you might change jobs (might you?) You might mention how you might not be able to keep up with your home. Is there anything wrong that needs $$-attention? Taxes too high? unruly neighbors? Electrical, plumbing, insulation, etc. upgrades needed? This might stand to show that you are going to have to shell out some money, money she won't have use of and could instill in her that maybe the house isn't as good as she thought it was. Let her know how you feel about her but elude that marriage probably wouldn't be possible for a year or so. Hope this helps.

Answer 2

What with viagra and all, I don't think the different between 56 and 40 is really all that dramatic anymore.

If you and her are at the same level of maturity (which varies from person to person and age to age), and have similar values and interests, and share the same goals and ideas about what a permanent relationship is like, and both want the same thing regarding children, and have compatible money patterns... then why not? Age does not matter nearly as much as these above things. Fact is that you could both be the exact same age, and if you don't have the above similarities, your relationship is likely doomed. Listen to your heart. But be realistic and rational. Then give it some time. You'll know what to do. Good luck!

Answer 3

As much as I loke to tell you that it make no difference when LOVE is concern.....
However the fact and reality always remains.
1) She is still young....by the time you need a walking stick
2) She will have alot of admirers.... and you could do nothing about it.
3) Her thoughts will not be 16years difference in maturity, and the understanding is that much differences in any topic.
4) People change through times.... some for the good.. so for their own goals....
5) Constant tolerance and patience will be needed from your.
6) The fact that she may leave you one day... is also most probable when you are at your weakest...time..
7) The fact that you will be financially depleted when that happens...

Once you have calculate your scores... and accept the fact that she one day will leave you....I think perhaps is worth the try.. That is you must be able to take that pressure of losing some one that you have put alot of love into it...

take care.

Answer 4

I don't know. Personally I think age differences can work out but the thing that bothers me about this situation is how young she is! If she were older, I would say nothing. Consider, I'm in my late twenties and I hesitate to date a 21 year old!

You and her should sit down and have a realistic talk about your expectations and hers. Maybe she is just too young for this. Then again, maybe she is a very mature 21 year old.

The age difference itself I do not feel is that important. I have known happy marriages where the man is older or the wife is older. The important thing is that both parties know what they are getting into. I'm not sure if she knows that.

Answer 5

I think this is NOT a good place to look for advice for something like this.. you need to follow your instincts and listen to those closest to you. It may be a bad idea and it may be a good one.. who knows.. I would be concerned with ANYONE who professes to LOVE someone afer only a few weeks.. but.. thats MY opinion and certainly does not ahve to be yours.. I would say that if you are going to continue this relationship and take it to another level, you should certianly find a way to safeguard your business and lifestyle. The age difference itself might not be a problem.. lots of people get into LONG lasting relationships with those older or younger.. you should talk about the future and see where she sees herself 20 years form now and see if you LIKE what you hear and if she seems real..

Answer 6

It's all nice and good at first but I think she just idolises you and you're being flattered by this(especially since your are recently divorced) the age gap will show sooner or later and the immaturity and childlike ways come out.Believe me it has happened to a couple of my friends.You want a woman not a girl

Answer 7

I think it is too much of an age gap. The fact that she's 21 means she still has a lot of catching up to do to reach your level in life. I'd prefer being with someone that has experienced life a bit more.

Answer 8

I don't think the age gap is a problem - but I don't think you should be talking about marrying a girl that you've known for only 3 weeks.

Answer 9

Age here is not too much of a problem. She's a big girl and can choose you if she wants to. However, she does not owe you her virginity. Even if you gave her a diamond ring and asked her to marry you.

Answer 10

my dad is 52 and my step mom is 38 they still have a very strong relationship and i love her like my own mother so yes it can work out i would wait until marriage though to get her in the sack