Started seeing this guy who is married(at the time I had no idea) He had been trying to get a divorce but she doesn't want one(they have NO kids together) She contacted me Friday called me a *****, a home wrecker, and everything else and now wont leave me alone. What do I do??...They were married 3 months, he and everyone else knows that he doesn't want to be with her.
2007-04-16 17:31:28 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They do not live together!! They are seperated, and him and I have nothing more than a EMOTIONAL relationship, we aren't committing adultry we haven't slept together, they have been seperated for almost a year now!
2007-04-16 17:39:38 · update #1
He's only been married for 3 months and already cheating? And he didn't tell you immediately that he was married? Girl, I am going to tell it to you straight...He is a pathetic womanizer who just wants his cake and eat it too. If you have any self-respect you will cut off all contact with this guy. Come on girl...you are better than that!!!!
2007-04-16 17:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your business, but I think whether or not the boyfriend and wife are having problems, they are married and you should step back and let them sort it out. Yes, you didn't know at the start, but now you do. You deserve better than that for your life and they are still married, it is not right. I think stop the relationship and let them sort it out. If they do get divorced, it should be about them and not you, and maybe you will get together down the track anyway, but give no guarantees and maybe it can be about them not you. I think that they should also have some time to sort their lives and feelings out if they do part. Maybe the marriage was doomed before you came along, but it is a marriage. Also, maybe you are at peace with this bit because you know the facts, but how come the bloke hid the marital status from you at the start? Doesn't sound good, even if you feel you can trust him. Good luck.
2007-04-16 17:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all that you've said, the main thing that's important here is that HE's MARRIED. You can say what you want but if you two keep seeing each other, you will have more than an emotional relationship if you haven't already. If you want him and he wants you, then wait until he's divorced. As is, his wife has all the right to try and keep him in her life if she still want him. If you take him from her, then someone will eventually take him from you. This is the way relationships that start out wrong end up.
2007-04-16 17:48:35 · answer #3 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not being divorced because she "doesn't want one" is not a good excuse.
In fact, it is lawfully untrue as he could easily of filed and won as he wants out. He doesn't need her approval.
The seperation needs to be legal/court/paper to make sure she doesn't go back to court to sue.
However, I think it is a little.....gross that you are with a guy who was only was married 3 months to her, yet doesn't want to be with her, but with you instead, but you didn't know he was married and yet you think that she doesn't have a right to be upset??
Do what you got to do, but don't complain as he is the one not telling her to stop calling and harrassing.
If they have been seperated for a year now, an annualment and easily a divorce would of been done by now.
I don't trust him on that excuse and I think you really need to re think this whole situation. Let yourself be in her shoes cuz hun, you might be one day just as he did to her, he can do the very same to you. What comes around, goes around so watch what you say and do, you might later wonder to regret.
2007-04-16 17:46:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he were a gentleman he would have ended his relationship with her before entering a relationship with you. Until he gets divorced his wife has every right to give you hell, my dear. You have entered where no woman should, and even when you found out he was married you still didn't get a clue. Here's a tip: find some single guy and leave this man to clean up his mess. He might even stay married to her, so you'd be better off moving on. You seem naive. Wise up, dear.
2007-04-16 17:41:25 · answer #5 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess she is pissed because you won't leave her husband alone. Trust me if he could be married for three months then he knows nothing about commitment or he is not very smart. I think that you should consider some time in her shoe as well review your question and answer it yourself.
Baby a married man is not the way to go he had baggage. Make the right choices while you have a chance ad find someone in the same chapter in their life as you are. Don't confuse yourself with his trash.
2007-04-16 19:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not your boyfriend. He is married. The fact that he didn't TELL you he was married means he is a lier in the first place. Do not get caught in this emotional trap.
You MUST leave this man. If he actually he gets a divorce and shows you the paperwork, then you can see him. (But I certainly wouldn't. He did this to one woman. Why wouldn't he do it to you?)
I don't believe there is any state in the union where one person in a marriage can keep the divorce from going through any more, so don't accept any excuse about "she won't divorce me".
2007-04-16 17:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by Tina Goody-Two-Shoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the man you are seeing had really wanted a divorce his wife doesn't have to grant it.... He files the paperwork.. she responds... the judge asks both parties if the marriage is irretreivable.. she says "no" he says "yes" the judge looks at the proposed division of property asks each if it's ok with them makes adjustments if necessary and grants the divorce... It takes 3-6 months start to finish...
Maybe you need to ask yourself why you would get involved even only EMOTIONALLY with an unavailable man...
You are the usurper in the situation to be amazed that someone would be upset with you and call you names is naive and frankly stupid...
When you have a relationship with a married person you have to expect thier spouse to be angry and lash out at you...
Were you born stupid or did it develop over time??
2007-04-16 17:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOUR boyfriend? hahaha, he is married honey. Doesn't matter if he has been married 3 months or 30 years, he is married. She has every right to call you, you are a cheating home wrecker. Find your own man and leave hers alone till he divorces her, which he won't cause you are giving it away free so why leave his wife? He could leave her anytime, don't forget that, it's not her choice. U are being used!!
2007-04-16 17:37:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I was foolish enough to find myself in a similar situation. If she calls you again, be calm. Tell her you understand how angry and hurt she is, but this is something they need work out between the two of them. You're merely being a friend to him, and whatever happens between the two of them needs to be worked out between the two of them. Just be calm and non confrontational.
I actually ended up having quite a pleasant chat in a similar situation with the, somewhat psychotic, wife.
Make sure you keep the relationship emotional and not sexual. You do not need to have a sexual relationship with a married man. If you want to be friends, that's fine. If you want to be emotionally supportive that's great. But unless, and until, he gets divorced, someone need to show a little respect for that, good or bad. It may be you're the only one who does.
Like it or not, you have been officially designated "the other woman".
2007-04-16 22:54:05 · answer #10 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋