do you like my poem...?(please read and tell)?

Question

if i'd love you

i would give you

all that which means the most to me

i would give you my scars

my cuts and briuses and birth marks to see.

i would give you the feeling of being "it"

in a game of hide and seek

and the anger of fighting with someone and losing cause im weak

i would give you the joy of catching a butterfly, feeling afraid and setting it free

and the anticipation of "summer hols come in a week!"

if i'd love you

i would give you

all that which means the most to me

i'd give you my favorite family vacation,

a road map to my favorite hill station and some of my

cherished memories to see.

i would give you the smell of the perfume my teacher wore

and the boredome of studying about the earth's crust, mantle

and core,

a photo of the first boy i ever adored

and the heart beat of winning a game and shouting "SCORE!"

if i loved you

i would give you

all that which means the most to me

i'd give you the copver of my favorite music CD, the name of my favorite book and my favorite DVD to see.

i 'd give you the hurt of being stabed in the back
and the tingling pain of being slapped
the drowsiness of the morning when you wait for your dog to finish its crap

if i loved you
i would give you
all that which means the most to me
the hinges of my room's door, a reflection on the freshly mopes floor to see.

the relief of sleeping in my undies to beat the summer heat, the hunger for cold milk and "cornflakes of wheat"
the sound of the cool floor against my bare feet.

if i'd love you
i would give you all of this and perhaps more
beside giving me :)

do you like it??

summer hols: summer holidays...duh...

Answer 1

Hello. The poem was interesting, incited mental images to arouse the senses, and is a laying out of your heart. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give you a 7 to 7.5. I would not put as much space between the lines so those reading it can follow it easier and have a better flowing essentially. I would recommend making it into two full sections so it would form better as well. It sounds like you want to give yourself away to someone, to fully bear your soul... both the good bad and what not. I'd take it you want someone to empathize with your pains and take you into their arms for love and comfort. It sounds like the intoxicating vigor called love and the rush of emotion you are experiencing. As for the notion of "hols", I'd skip saying it that way so the reader will know AUTOMATICALLY what you are saying. I looked it up online and found that it meant holidays. Just say holidays and we won't be curious about it. Do keep writing and honing your craft and look at some books on writing poetry and develop what you have innately within you. So keep pushing and go on writing.

Answer 2

As a poet myself, I love it. It is honest, emotional, and deep. You should send it to Poetry.com and enter it in the poetry contest. I have 3 poems published by them. I really think you can go places with your poety. It is truly beautiful and meaningful. Don't listen to people who say it's boring or crap. They don't appreciate poetry, because ALL poetry is beautiful. There is no right or wrong way to write it because it comes from the heart of the poet. I'll leave you with my favorite poem that I wrote....I wrote it for all those girls out in the world who feel that they aren't pretty enough or skinny enough to make people happy. I wrote it because I feel that all people are beautiful despite the clothes they wear, the body they have, and the way they carry themselves. Everyone is beautiful from the inside out as long as they accept themselves for who they are, not what people want them to be. Enjoy!

I Am
I might not be a supermodel girl
and I'm not a perfect ten
I might not look how you want me to
but I know I am what I am
You can't change the way I look
or the things I like to do
You may try to run my life but
I can run it better than you
Don't say the things that hurt me
Respect and love me for who I am
Do not make me cry at night
because I am who I am
I know you're just trying to help
but you try so hard it hurts
You make me so mad I start to cry
I feel pain when I hear your words
I am what I am
I'm all that I'll be
Stop trying so hard
'cause you can't change me

Copyright ©2007

Answer 3

that's extra handy to have faith: This person is extremely psychic and all of technological expertise is erroneous or that your mom gave this person some suggestions formerly? She might have been instructed by using your mom which you have been coming and he or she might have executed a sprint diagnosis. She might properly be very good a chilly interpreting. you would be surprised at how lots suggestions you gave her by using your expressions while she reported specific issues. As a exciting trick I memorized a itemizing of ten issues that fortune tellers and palm readers say while they do a interpreting. each and every time I even have executed a ‘interpreting’ I actually are transforming into a minimum of four hits. while asked approximately how properly I did almost anybody tells me I have been given a million/2 or extra top. How might desire to this be? those ten issues are authentic for almost anybody and almost anybody has no clue that what's authentic approximately them is authentic for roughly ninety 9.40 4% of anybody else! Google “chilly interpreting” and be surprised at how straight forward that's to convince human beings, even no longer straight forward center skeptical human beings such as you that the impossible is extremely being executed! yet, as you already understand, technological expertise might properly be relied upon and human beings who tell the destiny are actually not extremely doing so and maximum of them realize it!

Answer 4

Although i dont like long poems but i kinda like the words. So i'll give you 7 out of 10.

Keep going with your poems, i think that is your strength.

Answer 5

i think it's beautiful. i write too :-) of course you have some gutts to put your stuff online. eek.
poetry is wonderful. it's a way to look into ones soul and almost have a sense of what the writer is feeling.

very nice!

Answer 6

THAT IS the most adorable poem EVER!

its sooo cute. and hols stands for holiday(s), right? =)

Answer 7

Good thinking, good feeling...definately inspired...write on, Love!

Answer 8

i love it, its touching.

its so hard for me to put my words into poetry. i believe i have a lot to say, but i cant say it in poetry lol.

cherish your talent and keep writing!

Answer 9

Yes it is quite good. Very girlie, but pleasant.

Answer 10

Honest opinion ---- Pretty Boring