My son's father & I have known each other for 17 yrs - of those we spent 8 w/ just each other. We have had other relationships but always seem to come back to each other. After the last time, I had enough - he told me to find someone to treat me how I wanted to be treated so I did. Now I'm engaged. I love my son's father w/ all my heart but I'm not "in love" w/ him yet I miss our friendship. Is it possible to be w/ someone else & still remain friends w/ my son's father?
2007-04-16 16:15:48 · 36 answers · asked by momatendofrope 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I believe two adults can still be friends after a marriage has ended, but it must be platonic and basted on respect and honesty. If that can work so can your friendship.
2007-04-16 16:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think it is. Except I think it is important to talk this over with your fiancee. You need to talk to your soon to be husband of your feelings and your intentions of becoming friends again with your ex. You don't want to ruin the relationship you're in now by going back and spending too much time with your ex. Remember, when we truly love someone, we love them for life. That's OK, but sometimes we just need to move on. You have a relationship with your new man now, he can be your friend. It doesn't mean that what you had with you sons father is not special, it's just that time changes and relationships move on. Good luck!
2007-04-16 16:23:26 · answer #2 · answered by Ciel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on if your new guy is the jealous type...I say it's NOT good for any relationship to Pal around with the X...would you want your new guy hanging out with one of his xg/f? Think about it. You said yourself...on again...off again. Translation: could happen AGAIN. Now if the two of you had NEVER gotten back together once the break up was first done...then chances would be you wouldn't get back together for any reason. But friends go to lunch, see a movie, hang out with the kids at the park, meet at the soccor games, talk on the phone a lot, and that sounds a whole lot like dating! So NO...not good! I would break up with my b/f if he decided he missed being such great friends with his xwife he'd been married to for 11 yrs (together on/off for 19yrs). And if we ever get married & he decides I'm "his property" he can do as he pleases...becomes her "best friend" again...divorce! This is the biggest reason I haven't agreed to marry him! I'm afraid he'll run right to being his xwifes best friend again. If your best friends with anyone other than the one your with your with the WRONG person. Marry your best friend...it will last forever!
2007-04-16 16:23:45 · answer #3 · answered by luv2bake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great if you can actually be civil with your ex. Now days you don't hear of that too often and they're usually using the kids to get to each other which is so wrong. It's good that you've moved on and are engaged and it's a bonus that you and your ex are getting along for the sake of your son. Good for you!
2007-04-24 12:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by albert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to keep a good relationship with him especially for your son. If you are not in love with him that is understandable but it is much better this way than if you hated him. Imagine how that would affect your son if you and his father were always mad and yelling at each other!
2007-04-16 16:18:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be an asset for you to maintain a true friendship with your son's father. I've been able to remain friends with an ex whose friendship meant a lot to me and my five year relationship with my current mate has not suffered any ill from it. You just have to be upfront and honest with both your ex and your current man. Make sure the present guy doesn't have any insecurities about you and your ex. It's essential he understands the important roles both he and your ex plays in your and your son's lives. Make sure the ex knows his place in your life now, just friends.
2007-04-16 16:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by Abbey C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's possible.
But be considerate to your fiance as well. It's a difficult balance for you. You'll have to find out for yourself if the friendship with your ex is with respect to your son having his father in his life, or if it is for you.
If it's for you as much or more than it is for your son, then you really need to consider how your fiance will feel about that. I can't imagine he's totally comfortable with you having good relations with your ex. He may even wonder why things went bad if your friendship grows again, since you've admitted to getting back together more than once. If your fiance can handle that, then you are lucky to have him, as it will make it easier to maintain relations with your ex.
I think in some senses you still want to be with your ex, the way you've written your passage. If that's true, you really need to think about your engagement.
2007-04-23 23:47:30 · answer #7 · answered by phil_cheesy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible but dangerous to your current relationship. Friendships always have the potential to flourish into more. Perhaps, that's what you want with your son's father. There's nothing wrong with that -- just be honest with yourself.
2007-04-16 16:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by lilcurious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex sounds like an understanding guy and I can see why you want to remain friends with him. He let you go to find someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated. It would be great to stay friends with him. Your lucky to have that for yourself and for your son especially. Don't lose that......find a romantic relationship and when you do...be honest with him and let him know your good friends with your ex....no surprises for that new guy......your a lucky girl to be able to have a friend ship with your ex....Stay with it.....Your son will have a happy life, and your friendship will always stay.
2007-04-24 01:07:55 · answer #9 · answered by Your Asking Me? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a good idea adn best for your son - however a word to the wise since you admit to still "loving him with all your heart' - steer clear of anything other than communiction about your son. if you try to be "friends" and close it will only either draw you back as it has before or / and ruin your relationship witn the one you are with now, which will only cause undu stress on your son and all of you. good luck
2007-04-16 17:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by bummed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you can!!! my best friend had a good friendship with her baby daddy:) and after the relationship was over(after a lot of back and forth) they both have new relationships but are still the best of friends. if you had a good friend ship before the relationship that makes for a better friendship when its over, I've seen it for myself and its possible.I always say to her " I hope me and my baby daddy have a reltionship like you two if we ever break up" They shop together ,his girl friend is her friend and they even babysit for each other, its crazy!!
2007-04-16 16:52:08 · answer #11 · answered by lynn21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋