When is a friend worth the fight?

Question

My friend has alot of martial problems (or so it seems). HEr husband seems to not like me, and then she ends up ignoring me to maybe make things better between them, is this friendship even worth it?

By the way, she is my neighbor, and we meet about 8 months ago.

By the way, I am not jealous. I guess I wanted the friendship I gave her in return. I am also married and always helped her during her pregnancy. I guess I am just hurt by her actions.

I didnt do anything for him not to like me.

Answer 1

Only you can really answer that question but from your tone it certainly doesn't seem so. You have to weigh the good and the bad from any relationship. Are you getting anything positive from this relationship? Is it all one sided? Is it worth the effort that's needed to make it a success?

Your friend obviously needs a friend but she doesn't seem to appreciate you or value what you are offering. Some people just can't be helped. Is she one of those?

After you've weighed these things...you can answer honestly

EDIT**** I just read your addition and it helps to understand the situation a little better. You know it's strange but my mother always said you really can't be good friends with your neighbor and I always laughed at her. Now, every other person is telling me they're having arguments with their neighbors and fighting with them...why? I don't know
But maybe because it's the proximity that caused the friendship. Maybe if you met her somewhere else nothing would have happened?

I can feel your hurt though. Rationally you can say well it is her husband and he should be more important to her. You could also say he might be jealous of your relationship and trying to sabotage it whenever he can. Those are things you might never find an answer to. Whatever it is you still have to decide whether it is worth it. You'll have to forgive her on some level to continue with a friendship then you'll have to stay away from the husband so that won't cause a fight.

Are you more hurt by her actions than you are by the loss of her friendship? Then you have your answer. Good luck

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like it would be worth it, but I'm not her friend so I don't really know the situation. If I were in your position, I would look at how long we have been friends, what we have gone through together, etc, and then decide if it is worth it. I know she's married, but if she can't even make time for her friends every once and a while, then she's probably going to end up losing a lot of friends. The only thing you can do is continue to be nice to her and if she still acts the same way then at least you can't say you didn't try. Good luck!

Answer 3

I feel for you and your friend. You might want to ask her why she stays away, perhaps she stays away because she is dealing with too many things or perhaps she does stay away because he restricts her. If she is a true friend then you should stick by her side as long as she's willing to be your friend. The fact that she does come around every time signifies that she considers you her friend. Hopefully things will work out at home with her husband and you and she can grow together... So why is is that he doesn't like you anyway? You must be careful that your influence is not making matters worse at home for her. Try to make your presence to be a positive one. Show your loyalty and your friendship to her so that he is aware that you really appreciate his wife.

Answer 4

Your friend could be stuck between choosing you or her husband, so it's not really her fault. She is being put between a rock and a hard place, but in fairness...you shouldn't be made suffer just because her husband may not like you. Talk to her about the way she treats you. If anything, avoid seeing her when he is around.

Answer 5

I would tell her how she makes you feel when she does that. If you truly enjoy being friends with her, then she is worth the fight. But after you talk to her about it and she still acts like that then maybe it is time to cut your ties. Friendship is a two-way street. Good luck!

Answer 6

You are an extremely selfish person. The most important thing to her should be her husband. It sounds like he doesn't like you, thank goodness. Why are you trying to be between her and her husband, why are you that jealous? Get A LIFE.

Answer 7

If you have a true friendship, any fight is worth it. If your friend has marital problems, sounds like they should either get counseling or split. Life is short. Does she really want to live this way forever? He doesn't like you 'cause you are her way out. Would let her know you are there if she needs you, but that you don't really like being a part time friend. If she is draining you w/ her problems and not trying to help herself, you owe it to yourself to walk away.

Answer 8

well i would not jump into conclusion. You should find out the truth from her first. Sometimes, people do crazy things for the one they love, in this case is her husband. Try and talk it out with her before u decide if she is worth your friendship. Cheer up gal!!

Answer 9

YES! I was ONE of those wives...my husband would make me "prove my love for him" by getting "rid of my friends" for him. It was so awful. It was a very abusive marriage. I needed my friends to help me do what I already knw I needed to do but didn't have the guts to do on my own. Be there for her...I hope she finds time to be there for you as well. I tried to be there for my friends. They knew what I was going thru. I had great friends! I hope you are a great friend too! I am divorced from him but not til a 3 yr court battle with him ending up in jail for chasing the kids & I several counties from where it started. Don't give up on her. Not yet...

Answer 10

Well you are a friend and the only good advice is be there when she needs help. If she does not want any help then leave her be. Make other friends with nice hubby's.