Husband got mad at me and started saying some real hurtful things to me (im was adopted) so he was saying how no one wants me...no one likes me ect so I hit him ( i know i should not have) But what he said was like a knife going threw my heart he never said those things befor.....after i hit him, He pushed me to the ground....I had our 12mo old in my arms......all he can say is "im not gonna just stand there" soooo to me he is saying its ok because i hit him first.....I dont know what to do...If i call the cops, will I go to jail sense i hit him first???
2007-04-16 15:06:17 · 20 answers · asked by Crystal M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
honset, my sister hit her husband and she spent the night in jail. but she did but him in ccu too. It's a chance you might have to take. If he doesnt calm down soon or you even feel like he going to hurt you or your child call the cops. i think if your calm and dont argue with them you will be fine.
2007-04-16 15:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by Brat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard one. On the one hand, you shouldn't have hit him, and he shouldn't have pushed you back, but maybe he felt justified. On the other hand, he pushed you while you had your child in your arms, which is abusive to both you and your child, if your baby had been hurt then there would be grave consequences for both you and your partner. Seeing that your partner struck you while you were holding baby shows that he really has no idea and didn't actually have a problem with what he was doing.
Even if you did it first, does not make him justified in the slightest, I don't think that we can use other peoples actions as an excuse for our own. Any real man would have just walked away from the conflict, rather than feed it. If everyone retaliated like that, the world would be in more trouble than it already is.
As for saying the mean and emotionally abusive things that he said to you, he has no right whatsoever to do that, to say those things. This is a classic example of a man trying to destroy a woman's self esteem and confidence with insults.
I'm not sure whether you would go to jail, in fact, I seriously doubt it. I have had experience with domestic violence and had the cops called to my house several years ago due to a domestic dispute in the middle of the night, the police came and they told me partner to leave, and to come back when he was calm. If you think you should call the police about your hubby, do it. You and your child are worth more.
2007-04-16 22:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by Barkditch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think first off you need to deal with the mental abuse that is happening. I, too am adopted, and it is not the fact that no one wanted me, it was because she was young and couldn't afford me. You have to remember everytime he says that to you, you respond, well the family that adopted me must of loved me. And they must like me too, a@@hole. I know that sometimes name calling is not any better than what he is doing to you, but ya gotta throw that back at him. And when he says that no one likes you, you say to him, "Well you must like me because we have a child together."
As for the hitting, no one should be hitting no one. Whether it be a push, a little tap, it should not happen. I don't know what the laws are like where you are, but it can be anyone that goes. It could be you for the first blow, or it could be the party who aggravated the domestic. If the police do get involved, it will be up to them to decide who needs to go. That is at their discretion.
If you are holding your year old for protection against him, you need to think about your actions with your child. If anything happened to him while the two of you were fighting, how would that make you feel?
Please rethink your actions when he wants to start an argument. Rethink what you want out of life, and if in the end, maybe the two of you should not continue your life together. Try couples therapy, or therapy one on one, and get the issues that you have dealt with. This way it will help you deal with the issues you have at home.
Get yourself on the right path, and make friends with all of your demons, then you and your husband can get back on the right path.
2007-04-16 22:47:07 · answer #3 · answered by jesterthemutt2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have a child to consider. That is really bad that your child had to witness this. That's why some children grow up being like their parents-abusive. Your husband hit you below the belt because he wanted to hurt you and he was very angry. You both need to sit down and talk to each other and if you can't seek a priest, pastor or counseling of some sort. Stop being angry at him for what he said. He shouldn't have said that to you. So what you were adopted!? You are special whether you were adopted, a test tube baby or artificially inseminated. Both of you need to apologize. You should not hit him anymore. Take your child and put him/her in the bed and sit calmly and think about what your going to do and think about the consequences that will happen if you do something bad. I will pray for you, your husband and your marriage. I'm divorced and I don't want to see that happen to you guys. Good luck.
2007-04-16 22:16:14 · answer #4 · answered by beaddiva 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no you will not, not a lot of woman go to jail because they hit there husband i hit my husband once i have done it sices but he should have not said those things he pushed you down with your baby in your arms he could have hurt the baby and that what you should have been worried at the time. he is not worth saying with if he is going to you down like that. you are wanted no matter what your family that you went to they wanted you that is why you are there family that is the most important thing that you should think that if i where to stay with my real mom where would i be she gave me up to give me a better life and i got it a great family and they love me very much i am sorry i hope i helped a little.
2007-04-16 22:12:29 · answer #5 · answered by cherish r 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know you wouldnt because a man is stronger than a woman and plus your child was in your arms and that is child endangerment and he could have walked away but only call the cops if your really in danger cause if your not it can cost more problems. Sticks and stones can break my bones but word will never hurt me but if you love me then why make feel unworthy because you dont love yourself and to make your self feel better you got to pick on me then there must be a deeper issuse that's going unspoken but figure out the detail before jumping to an conclusion.
2007-04-16 22:19:10 · answer #6 · answered by samcmillian86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I'm sorry! But i don;t think that ou will go to jail for hitting him... He deserved it! I feel sorry for you and your baby and you Husband! If you were fighting over something that can be resolved, go to eachother and appologize... or try to, at least. If not, then it's best you leave him and take your baby, too... But you should do what you think is right! whether it be hard or easy. But who said that this was going to be easy?? And you are wanted!! God gave you adoptive parents!! And that's a miracle like no other!! I'm adopted as well, and i love my new parents!! they're the only ones i have ever known!Good luck! and i'm sorry, once again.
2007-04-16 22:13:11 · answer #7 · answered by Cassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fact is ..... he lied to you.....because you were adopted proves that you were and are wanted. and were wanted by ppl who really wanted a child to LOVE. So he told you a flat out lie.
No you should not have hit him, nor should he have pushed you down while you had your baby in your arms....you could have dropped the baby and the baby could have head injury as well as other life threatening injuries. If this is a common occurrence....then you need to leave for the safety of yourself and your baby.
2007-04-16 22:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing I would have told him "My parents hand picked me and they chose to love me, in which your parents got stuck with what god gave them a total jackass!!!" In addition I would have told him it takes a "real" man to push a woman and that I hope he feels like "more of a man" for making such a scene in front of his child!!
I'm not sure of the whole cop thing, but I wouldn't stay in an environment where my child was seeing violence. Go stay with your family or friends tonight and contact an attorney tomorrow to find out your options. If nothing else maybe he'll feel what life is like without his family and he will see the light!! Good Luck....
2007-04-16 22:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by HAVE2KNOW 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first you should not have hit him.... and you know they say things to hurt you, it is not easy to block that. My ex once told me due to my breast surgy that now I was not a real woman and no man would want me and no man could ever love me... and no man would ever want to touch me.Talk about a throw to the ground.. those words still burn deeply into my self confidence.Keep your child out of harms way....
and when a couple begin hitting each other it is time to leave. LOVE SHOULD NOT HURT
neither you nor the man.
2007-04-16 22:12:41 · answer #10 · answered by Peggy C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋