Question for ladies regarding Cheating/Affair?

Question

My wife does not trust me. On one hand, I understand as she caught me being unfaithful; there have been 9 women she's aware of in the last two years. Anyway, I've been faithful for about 5 weeks now, and she still doesn't trust me. What's a guy got to do? I'd like to remain faithful, but if she isn't going to trust me, then what's the point? I love her and all, just got tempted a few time, no big deal. Looking for suggestions - thanks for your help.

OK so I'm taking a beating here. I'm not bragging about the affairs, I'm just saying 5 weeks is a start, geeze.

Answer 1

what a jerk-----what she needs to do is to kick your *** to the curb and find someone way better than your cheating behind because you obviously don't deserve her

Answer 2

As long as you're willing to work on it here's what i suggest-

Let her know that you can sense she's not quite trusting you still. So you're going to give her your passwords to email, log your instant messages, and check in with her while you're out.

It may take away your pride and privacy, but if that's what you need to do to save your marriage, then it's so worth it! But you need to find out why you were unfaithful in the first place. Was it lack of attention from home or in the bedroom or did these other women give you the attention you craved and weren't getting. Talk with your wife about it. Tell her honestly that you had affairs in the past because of ..... Let her know that you need a little more attention from her, and you promise to start new and give her the same attention. Great sex in a marriage is the superglue to a good marriage. There is never a good marriage with bad sex, or a bad marriage with great sex. Start her interest in the morning by holding her hand during breakfast, take a shower with her, or hug her longer than you normally would. Then at the end of the day, she was prolly thinking about those things and ready for some good bedroom activites. I honestly think this will work. If it doesn't, your wife will just take a long time to build trust, but it's so much worth it in the end.

but those few temptations were a big deal- they're costing you your marriage

Answer 3

Nine women in two years? You call that being tempted a few times? Sweetie, if you want her to trust you, you should begin by earning her trust, and it's going to take more than five weeks to do that. If you think cheating repeatedly on your wife is "no big deal," then she's probably right not to trust you.

Get yourselves to a couples' therapist. Be deliberate in avoiding the situations in which you might be "tempted" again--and make sure she knows that's what you're doing. Don't be a pain about it--nothing like "I'd hang out with the guys, but (sigh) I'll stay home instead because you don't trust me"--but let her know that you're making choices with her in mind.

Answer 4

Ok, 9 women?? And you've only been faithful for 5 wks??? I think you are expecting way too much. It will take a LONG time for her to trust you again (if she ever does). Frankly, I'm surprised she's still with you. You have to EARN trust. You say you love her, but you have hurt her deeply with the affairs. It is a big deal - put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if you found out she cheated on you with 9 different men. Would you trust her after just 5 wks?

Answer 5

sure 5 weeks is a start but building trust takes a lot of work and being faithful means alot more than 5 weeks, you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to earn the trust u destroyed. Good luck, and keep your zipper up, that is a start but a long way from the finish line

Answer 6

U have to earn and then keep her trust.....and it is not going to happen over night.....it will take months to years...if ever....because apparently you have had more than 9 affairs...because she only knows about 9. Don't look for her to trust you for a very long time, if ever. So what this means that you are going to have to do is be faithful for a very long time, and this will be just to earn her trust.....if you cannot do that then you need to tell her so that she can stop being hurt by you and move on.....and you need to let her go, because she deserves a real man...and it is real apparent you are not a real man.

Answer 7

You say you love your wife, but your actions say otherwise.You have a disorder... you are afflicted with dogism. Dogism is a distorted sexuality that causes men to stray and be unfaithful in relationships. If you love your wife like you say you do, you must seek help immediately. You guys need marriage counseling, or another program for married people.If you don't change now, your wife will soon or later look for a better man.And sooner or later a real man will come to rescue her from the disaster she's in now. I don't understand why you consider adultery no big deal, seems like you not only need to get it together with your wife, but you also need to form a spiritual relationship with GOD.

Answer 8

Marriage counseling is not the way to go right now! you need seperate counseling. Your therapist needs to be someone who knows and has handled sex addiction. You're an addict and there is no denying it. You sound like my husband who because it is over for him this time doesn't want to hear nor deal with it anymore. That is not how it is going to work out. She is hurting probably from the time she wakes up until she goes to sleep and needs to hear the complete truth. You also need to communicate with her before you act out. You need to tell her what is going on with you stress wise, emotionally, and let her know your needs if this marriage is to be fixed. Trust takes years to be replaced after even just one affair, and it is always so much longer after mulitple. I know because i am living this every day and marriage counseling will only hinder both of your recoveries. Your wife is a codependent and i bet you she goes out of her to try to make things work. Not getting help will only result in you slipping up and cheating again and i can tell you from my own experience and that of others i know that your wife will get tired of this and end your relationship once and for all.

Answer 9

Yoy got tempted few times and its no Big deal!! my god..
You have been only faithful to her from this few week and it not enough time for her to trust you again dude!
There more time she can take and should take cox its not once or twice you did this mistake but 9x which its very difficult for her to trust you that soon again.
You got to give her time and if u don't have that patience.. Go away from her as soon as possible as you being like this kills her slowly.. You moving away from her life is much much more better as she is such a pity to be with you after all that suffers you have given her.
Don't ever say ITs no big deal as remember the vows that you made during marriage?? You are not following it My god!!

Answer 10

Wow!!!You are a Loser,How on Earth Do You Expect your Wife to Trust You when its only been 5 Weeks,I wouldn"t Trust You ever again,If you had any Respect for Her You wouldn"t have been Unfaithful,I really Feel Sorry for your Wife,She Deserves better than You.

Answer 11

9 women in two years? Are you nuts? Even if there was only one, how would you expect to be trusted? You just don't understand women. They NEVER forget. You are doomed and should be. You will never have her trust because you don't understand what marriage is about. Give her a break and leave. You aren't mature enough to be in a real committed relationship. Don't continue to ruin her life.