Why does my husband have the need to tell me what I said?

Question

It's something simple like me asking him to pick up a couple of things from the grocery store. He made sure to use a pen! I asked for a can of tomato paste and he brings me home tomato sauce. After he decide to maul the can and work on it w/ a knife I noticed what was wrong. It was sauce not paste. I said "Hey that's sauce, I asked for paste!" And he immediately jumped down my throat and said "YOU said tomato sauce!!" I said "I specifically askef for paste" he said "NO you didn't!!"

Why must it be this way? Why must he feel the need to tell ME what I've said. There's no mistaking it, I need specifically paste to make meatloaf... There was no pre-argument or tension by the way. Nor did I use any put downs or say anything demeaningly or rude when I pointed out that it was sauce not paste.

Answer 1

There's something else going on here. Look, the vast majority of guys will NOT freak out if we give you a can of sauce instead of paste. To tell the truth, we don't know the difference between sauce and paste (except cooks).

Anyway, you're husband is freaking out about something. Next time he freaks out along those lines, redirect him - start digging why he is freaking out so bad. You may get an honest answer.

Answer 2

He needs to tell you because he thinks you said "sauce".
Next time YOU write the list. No argument there. I have a feeling this isn't about paste or sauce. You asked him to do something simple......for you. What if he asked you to change a tire? That would seem simple....to him. Lighten up, you can use sauce in meatloaf! Improvise. Its better than fighting. This would be something my husband and I would have laughed about. Fighting over unimportant things is going to make for a long, long, long ,short marriage.

Answer 3

Men just aren't wired as we are. We are detail oriented and they honestly don't see the difference between sauce and paste. All you had to do was add water to the paste and make it into sauce. It wasn't ahuge deal for either of you to get upset over. You have to learn to love your husband the way he is and accept that his weaknesses are your strengths and that's why we compliment each other. He may feel the need to tell you what you've said b/c he honestly thought that's what you said. It's the same as asking them to empty the dishwasher. They hear empty the dishwasher and then we, as women, get upset b/c he didn't load it up with the dishes in the sink. They do what they are asked and don't think further. Once you realize how men work, you find more peace in your husband...

Answer 4

Here's the deal. Don't ask him to pick these things up. I learned many years ago that if I need something to be specific, I take care of it myself. Unless you have a chef for a husband, he isn't necessarily going to know the difference between sauce and paste and this is nothing you need to be fighting over, believe me. My husband and I have been together 16 years and he still doesn't know where all the stuff is in our kitchen. Am I going to beat him up about it? No way!!

Answer 5

pick your battles...you win some, you lose some......he might have honestly heard you say tomatoe sauce(give him the benefit of doubt)

------next time, go out and purchase things you need yourself instead of asking your husband to do so to avoid having to go through this again

Answer 6

Do your own shopping.