my husband just found out about three thousand dollars worth of extra credit card debt he didn't know about. he is acting like i had an affair. it was used when he has slow times at work for groceries and stuff but i didn't tell him that. plus he likes expensive toy, remote control cars and such. likes ebay too. i just wanted him to have all the stuff he wanted with out stressing him and now he is very very angry. i do not have collectors calling by the way, i pay the bills
2007-04-16 14:03:51 · 8 answers · asked by dusjesmom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
for the one that said how dare i? i dare do it because his work was slow and we used it to buy groceries to feed my family. he was working the most he could how could i dare look in his face and say he wasn't doing enough. work always picked up but they always had slow points. one of our children were sick alot and i used it for medicines also. so excuse me for not trying to burden him further. and if he wanted something when he was busting his behind, i wasn't going to say no.
2007-04-17 02:19:00 · update #1
You really need to share things like this with your partner, he probably feels kept out of the loop, and he probably feels like if you have kept this from him than what else are you keeping from him (not saying you are keeping anything else from him). You are in a marriage for better or worse so if financially you are both not doing so well he needs to know and that way he might not buy all those expensive toys he does not need. Think about how you would feel if he was keeping a secret from you.
2007-04-16 14:11:11 · answer #1 · answered by ACW 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YES IT IS BAD I cant believe that you dont understand how money and marriages work you were being dishonest with him if it was the other way around im sure that you would feel the same besides 3 grand is a lot of money that is big lie you were keeping from him if I was him I would feel like i couldn't trust you with finances
2007-04-16 14:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by <B> 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it is bad, that's a lot of money. Never keep secrets from one another and he should grow up and buy only what he can afford. That means the children have a collage fund started for them and there is a retirement fund started for you two.
2007-04-16 14:31:00 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that the secrecy offends him more than the debt. Sit down and come up with some ground rules for spending and debts.
2007-04-16 14:08:06 · answer #4 · answered by mz112ungu 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give him some time to calm down - however long that takes with him - and then explain things to him the same way you've explained them here.
2007-04-16 14:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you pay the bills, then screw that he has to say! it's your money, and you said it was groceries and stuff for him, so if he is so worried about it, then tell him to sell it at a thrift store. see if his mood changes.
2007-04-16 14:07:44 · answer #6 · answered by live4fun1121 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's horrible. How dare you?
2007-04-17 01:10:11 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$3,000.00? Yeah, you should have told him.
2007-04-16 14:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Cricket 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋