I'm 58, not bad looking and need advice?

Question

I was married to my high school sweetheart for 30 yrs. he passed away in 2000, I got into a relationship with a friend that I knew from High School about a yr, & a half after my husband's passing. we lived together for over 5 yrs but the relationship turned sour and I left. now I'm scared to death to trust another man with my heart, but don't want to be alone for the rest of my life either. anyone have any advice? I'm not bad looking, I work out to keep fit, short (5 ft) green eyes, blonde hair (with a little grey, which I tint) 126 lbs. so u think a guy might take a second look at me?

Answer 1

Sure. Even a second, third and fourth look. Several years ago, I had a conversation with a girlfriend from high school. She was quite convinced that "guys don't look at women over 50". Well, at 55, she met a guy she hadn't seen in years, they hit it off, and they are now married and very happy.

The best thing a person can do, I think, is to just be out there. Do what you like doing. Contribute to the community in some way that you find satisfying. Being attractive has a lot to do with being happy about where you are and what you are actively doing with your life.

What I find curious is that you were married for 30 years, then "got into a relationship" with someone and lived together for 5 years. What was that all about? Seems kind of out of character with the rest of your life.

You deserve a lot better than that. Don't settle for the first person to pay attention to you. Demand quality, both in your single life and any developing relationship. Don't waste your time with men that aren't willing or able to treat you with respect.

Remember, you don't need a man to be complete. Fill your "alone-ness" with meaningful and fulfilling activities. Be happy and find joy in being the kind of person you always wanted to be.

Answer 2

I'm 54. I think I know what you're talking about. If you are "not bad looking" and in good physical condition, then there will be guys who are interested in you. There is no question about that. Just smile a lot and they'll make a move. But don't let your fear of being alone for the rest of your life cause you to push a new relationship too fast. In fact, now is the time to be very careful in new relationships. I know this sounds corny, but a lifelong companion needs to be a friend first.

Answer 3

Hi Cher, Hi i just got a divorce from my ex husband who was an buser. I was marry to him for 30 years and i feel great about myself. I don't have much money but i am free. Anyway i have notice that the older men have been watching me and one man came up to me and wanted to talk. I am a year younger than you. Yes you will find someone,just give it time. I have found someone who is special to me. Just because we are older doesn't mean we are dead. I think like you do, i try to keep myself in shape and i like to have fun and enjoy myself. That's something i could never do when i was with my ex. I even go to a saloon called Long Branch and shoot pool. am not very good but i meet a lot of interesting people. LOL i even had a younger guy that wanted to shoot a game of pool with me.. LOL.. It did made me feel good about myself.You to can get out there and meet new people and have fun and enjoy yourself. Hey, We might be a little rusty but we still have it. Just be yourself and you will do find. LOL..
A Friend.
Clowmy

Answer 4

Yes I'm sure you look good enough. I guess my only advice would be not to settle. Figure out what you want in a man and wait till you find a man with those qualities before you get too involved with him. Go from there. you can't avoid being hurt if you don't want to be alone you'll have to take the chance.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

Ahhh, it's like being in high school all over again, isn't it... just a different environment... First, I would like to congratulate you on your long-lived marriage. I'm sorry to hear about his passing, but I'm sure you have some wonderful memories to keep him alive... Well, my advice is this... You've been out of the dating scene for over 30 years.... Things have changed... I'm sure you know it too... Find a gentleman, who knows what you had... who knows what you've been through... That way, you will relate to each other a lot more...

Answer 6

first my condolences and the passing of ur husband...yes u have a chance of true love ....not all me are dogs its just that to find what we are looking for we have to dig deep... i figure u found ur true love ( ur husband ) but its just that god had a different paln for him we cant question god's work ......but u have to learn to forgive ( not forget ) but forgive what wrongs others have done to you cause if u dont u wont be bale to move on and enjoy life like u should.......listen stop worrying about finding a man u need to enjoy the best years of ur life they say life begins at 40 now they changed that and say life begins at 50 so u are just in ur enjoyment dont waste it thinking about men ...find some of ur best friends go out smell the flowers ...have lunch ....continue to work out keep fit and healthy continue to love urself and then wehn u least expect it not too long from ur a second prince charming will sweep u off ur feet and u will enjoy and appreciate it even more then cause u have being waiting on him for quite some time ..........love diva

Answer 7

You are only 58 years YOUNG, not 98 years OLD. Don't be put out by age, go socialize and meet people. You sound beautiful and am sure plenty of guys still take second look at you.

Answer 8

answering your question,
You know we all get scared sometimes in not knowing were it will go or lead us. we all just have to take that chance, you have been around long enough to understand that, i think that you may be scared on starting over again but don't be.

You'll find the right one, finding that right one takes some time, when that time comes you'll know if he's the right one for you.

Yes! we do make mistakes but we all make mistakes during our life time no one is perfect. Just remember to always smile, people enjoy meeting people who smile it's attracts people.

be yourself, you already seem confident on your good looks, you seem like a nice young lady with a nice personality just reading your message, be confident in who you are, men like women who confident and who carry them selves with a glow.

I hope this help!

Good Luck in finding the right one for you.

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Answer 9

I would Take a 3rd. look at you, do what your doing do your daily routine go to the gym go out with the girls if you do that don't do anything different don't look for guys & thats when you'll meet one take it very slow have coffee go out to dinner offer dutch treat so he dosen't think your using him tell him why you want to take it slow not to specific if he stays around & respects your wishes then it's meant to be you'll know when the time is right, no head games & don't lie at all & don't be a snob be a good person & don't hurt just to hurt.


Peter

Answer 10

Never give up on love. You sound fit and open to the prospect. Keep yourself pretty for yourself! Love will come when you least expect it! Don't be afraid to date younger either. You deserve a partner. My apologies for the silly billies who said discouraging things. They think they'll live forever I guess!