Has your husband or wife ever threatened divorce during a fight?

Question

So we got into a big fight over nothing. I just wanted to go to bed and was trying to ignore him. He says fine lets just go next week and get a lawyer, start thinking about what you want. And left the room. So I cried for a little bit then got mad and took him some clothes and his keys and told him to get the **** out. He didnt leave and kept apologizing. I forgave him, but I wonder if this shows that theres a bigger problem. He's never said anything like that to me. Oh and to make it all worse, I'm 3 months pregnant.

Answer 1

Sure! Everybody has at one time or another, especially during a fight!

Answer 2

Yes, my husband has threatened that during a fight, but it was very heated and it's rare that we ever get to that point. We were going through some emotional things at that point in our marriage, so that's why it got so blown up. However, I know my husband well enough that he was just blowing smoke and said it out of anger, without real intention of leaving. I think that's usually the case, but if it happens over and over, then I think there would be a more significant problem.

If you're pregnant it's possible you're tired and aren't able to give him the attention he needs. That's understandable, every Mom-to-be feels that way at some point. Maybe he's just frustrated and not able to express himself so he gets mad and yells. I would say if this is the first time it's happened, try to move past it and let it go. However, if it continually occurs you may want to consider counseling especially BEFORE the baby arrives. There would be nothing worse than to have all these unresolved problems weighing you down and then bring a newborn into it. It's hard enough to have a new baby in a stable marriage!!! Good luck!

Answer 3

Yes it happens...but don't let the threatening happen often. That wouldn't be normal, that would show for a bigger problem. Look for signs that he's unhappy. But if you both just found out you're pregnant he may just be scared and wanted to feel like he has the choice or like he could say things like that. Personally I think you made the right decision by fireing back at him and giving a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he just wanted you to feel bad for whatever he wasn't getting. I wouldn't stress too much over it right now as long as most things seem normal, and you just worry about yourself and the soon-to-be New Baby!!

Answer 4

There is nothing worse then threatening the relationship. You may forgive him for what he said, but you will never forget. The only thing you can do is just let some time go by, plan your baby, and hopefully vow to eachother that divorce is not a option (if you want to). But atleast vow to never threaten the marriage until he is really ready to walk out.

Answer 5

No, and here's why. Couples need to fight fair. That means:
only discuss the issue at hand, don't bring up past issues, don't take each other's character, no name calling, no cursing, no yelling and screaming, and no divorce threats.

It also means: speak respectfully to each other, listen to each other, summarize what the other person has said in order to make sure you've understood correctly, choose gentle words, use tact and diplomacy, and apologize and ask forgiveness if you've hurt the other person. Kiss and make up.

Remember, the goal is to come up with a solution you can both live with. You're dealing with your loved one, your best friend, the one you've chosen to live with for the rest of your life.

Answer 6

It's an awful thing to say, but a good way to make the other person feel scared and worried about the marriage... it's not an unforgiveable crime, but it should be made clear that threatening to file for divorce is not ok and a total deal breaker.
And yes, both my husband and I have said that to each other before. It's kind of a way to make the other person open their eyes, but completely disfunctional and not ok.

Answer 7

Sorry to say but when my husband makes me so mad I could spit fire I do threaten divorce. When you are so mad you dont want to be part of them . to be as far away sounds like the anser and you wish you could be a million miles away. To cut the heart is to tell the love of your life you want out. It is usually ment as a horrible insult but not ment in truth. After all is calm down usually each will apologize. divorce is serious and needs more then a simple fight.

Answer 8

Mine used to do it all the time... especially when he was drunk... I told him I would not threaten with divorce if I told him I was going to divorce him I would do it not just threaten.. and I did...

You are probably both under a lot of stress if you are pregnaunt. It puts a lot of strain on a relationship right at first as you both adjust to it. Make sure you talk about problems before they become arguments, and while you are both fully awake, alert and able to discuss the issues. You don't need the stress in your condition.

Answer 9

Yeah..you need to get into some counseling. It could be he's feeling trapped because you're pregnant, or could be he just decided he can be a controlling twit because you're pregnant. Either or neither, you need to get some help. No one should threaten divorce, leaving or violence in an argument. It's childish, immature and highly indicative of a deeper problem.

Yes, my husband did threaten divorce during arguments, and after about the third time, I told him not to let the door hit him in the *** on the way out.

OH..and he's my ex....

Answer 10

Marriage counseling might help. He could have learned his lesson - that threatening to divorce you means you tell him to get the hell out. Or it could mean that he will treat every serious problem this way. In which case, you are better off finding a better way to argue. A marriage counselor is good at that kind of problem.

Answer 11

Threats of divorce are all to common. I don't really think most of them are real since I'm the one who usually embarks on that road during a fight. It's just something that pops into your head between yelling.