is it wrong to loose your virginity at 14?

Question

i know so many people must have asked this question ut i new to this site so hang with me- im 14 ( durh) and iv got a 17 year old boyfriend, we have been together for a year and half, and i love him to death. we have decussed sex alot, and im glad for it, i just seem to think im ready, and he doesnt, i know he is being kind to me and looking after me. but he makes me feel like i am just a kid, which i suppose i am, but my question is, should i keep persisting, or just take what he says and wait untill im 16. sory if this is an annoying question.

Answer 1

Not if you live in shanghai.

Answer 2

I think it is best to wait til you turn 18. Now, i know thats sounds like allot these days but i have a reason. first, I know none of us plan or want kids at a young age, but accidents do happen during the heat of the moment. If you wait til you are 18, then if something happens you are finished with high school and can handle the responsibility, even if you jad to do it alone. It is very rare to get a "good paying" job these days without a high school education. I personally waited til i was 21, at which time i considered myself an adult. if i could go back, I would like to think i could still wait til I was at least 18. I have a 16 yr old sister as well. So far so good, but there is just so much pressure these days it is hard.

My advice is, if you truly love this guy, wait til you are able to be more responsible.

Answer 3

Your question is not annoying at all.

It is against the law to have intercourse with someone who is under the age of consent. This is called Statutory Rape. Even if both parties are willing it is still a crime and the older party is seen at fault. If you are both under the age of consent and one is more than a few years older than the other (as in your case) this is also considered statutory rape - depending on your state laws. So, yes, legally it is wrong to have sex at 14.

You are wise to allow yourself time to grow up before starting down that road. Sex can be fun; but it can also be uncomfortable, painful, embarassing and annoying sometimes. (this is a woman's perspective, I doubt if many men would say this ;-) hahah)

Having sex means you have to take responsibility for your ability to reproduce. I hope you are not considering having a child until after you have finished your education and begun a career. Your community has been paying taxes to support your education. You have an obligation to learn all you can and then join the community as a contributing adult. Please don't cop out on your education.

Having sex also means you need to take responsibility for your physical heath. Herpes and AIDS are the two biggies. Both are transmitted sexually and both are INCURABLE. That means if you get herpes (nasty, painful, uncomfortable and embarassing) at 14 or 15 you will have herpes for the rest of your life. There are plenty of nasty sexually transmitted diseases that can make you feel pretty gross..genital warts, crabs. Even a plain old yeast infection can make you feel very unsexy. Your boyfriend may love you to death, and he may know a lot about sex; but I bet he doesn't know how uncomfortable a yeast infection can be :-)

Having sex will not make you a grown up. Your boyfriend will still treat you like a kid. That's just the kind of guy he is. That is why he enjoys dating someone who is so so so much younger than himself. 17 and 14 are a long way apart...it sort of creeps me out that he wants to date a 14 yr old....but that is another post....

good luck

Answer 4

Firstly, your boyfriend would be committing a crime if he had sex with you. He could end up being labelled as a sex offender and a pedophile. I'm sure you wouldn't want that for him.
Secondly, 14 is very young. Physically, your body is still changing and so are your emotions - huge decisions like whether or not to have sex are better left for a couple of years.
Thirdly, because you are so young contraceptive advice is harder to get - and you MUST get that sorted out before you start having sex - if you are young to lose your virginity you are far, far *too* young to have a child.
I know you feel like a grown woman now, but those of us who are older, know how much growing and changing a 14 year old still has to do.

Answer 5

Dont apologise, theres nothing wrong with this question. The thing is you shouldnt really ask this. Its a decision you make. All these people on here who are telling you not to do it and to wait for marriage, that is their opinion. This decision affects you and you only, and should be made by you and you only. Personally, I lost mine at 13 and never regretted it once. I did it because i wanted to, and it should be the same with you. Dont do it/not do it because I told you to or anyone else told you to. Do it if you want to. But dont ever think theres anything wrong with it because its a natural occurence and the teenage years were made for experimenting. Just make the decision for you. Write down the pros and cons and weigh them up. Sex is a brilliant thing when your happy with yourself doing it. Hope you do what you want to do.

ps If you do decide to, use a condom. PLEASE. im really sorry if it sounds like a lecture, i dont mean it to be. Its because I made that mistake and i had a son at 16. I just would rather you enjoyed your first time without thinking you may get pregnant, because its not the sort of thing a teenager wants.

Answer 6

Well it seems to me that your boyfriend is afriad to have sex with you because of your age. Knowing that the law of having sex with anyone is at the age 16 he may be a little intimidated. He more likely feels that if he waits until your 16 he want feel guilty about taking your virginity at such a young age.
So I say if he's not feeling like having sex don't try to make it work. And if you both continue to talk about sex your going to want it evenmore. so try to stay away from that context. But if you must, confront him and say something like If we cant agree on having sex, why tease me by talking about it. And if you really want it that bad, go get a friend with benefits, someone you can trust. Me Im a virgin too.. and everyone keeps asking me to **** them but I don't cuz I'm a tease. One more thing, I f you good at teasing do alot of that and maybe sit down and watch a porno with him. Get him hard and then say you have to be somewhere else. Sooner or later he'll get the point.

Answer 7

Honey, your bf is awesome!!! what a level headed guy, hang on to him.
Now, to my thoughts about your question...
Answer is a big fat "yes, yes yes, sooooo tragic, a crying shame!!!
This is how tragic it would be if you had sex, lost your precious virginity at 14 years old, even 16 or 17.
It would be like watching the twin towers fall down. Need i say anymore about that.
Wait till you have an engagement or wedding ring on your finger and that shouldn't happen till you finish uni and live a little. You probably think that's so old fashion. I gave up my virginity when i was 17yrs old to my bf that i loved to death and thought we would get married and live happily ever after together. But we grew apart and broke up 6 months after the avent. 4 years after that i met my husband and i wish with all my heart and soul i waited and gave him my virginity as a wedding gift to him.
Wait hun!!!! Anyway, when you loose your virginity it kills and you bleed everywhere. It's not romantic believe me, the first time sux!!!

Answer 8

Yes you are too young for sex. Wait until you are married to give your body over to someone like that. I know it feels like you are missing out but in the long run you will be much happier for having waited. Then you will know that that person you shared everything with is really going to be with you always. I'm glad your boyfriend is not agreeing to do this with you, it shows that maybe he is thinking more than just about himself. You have to think of all those girls who ended up pregnant at 16 because they were sexually active so young. It's such an important thing that you should wait til the right man comes along and commits to marrying you. You should be worrying about homework and school dances right now, not being a pregnant teen, or a teen with an STD. There is no worse feeling in the world than feeling like you've completley given yourself to someone only to have them leave your life a few months later. I know it feels like you and your boyfriend are going to be together forever but you never know, so just be careful and take care of yourself. Talk to your parents too by the way. They seem lame right now, but they usually only want you to be happy in THE LONG RUN. That's the hardest part is thinking about how you want your life to turn out later. Now it may seem like fun and games but later in life you'll regret it. I promise you.

Answer 9

Not annoying. Honest. Sounds like your boyfriend is really smart. He is protecting you. For one thing, your relationship-no matter how good it is-is not set in stone. TRUST me, it is a whole lot more difficult to let go once that spiritual connection is made through sex. A WHOLE lot harder and much more painful...Second of all, he doesn't want to get you pregnant, and the best way to avoid that is through abstinence.
I think you should just respect how much he respects you and leave it like it is. If y'all are STILL together a couple years from now, then maybe-even tho 16 is still too young in an emotional sense-but that is a long time to be together without doing ANYTHING. It is prolly best to wait until you are married.
Anyhoo, again, your boyfriend sounds like a keeper from what you've shared. Take easy.

Answer 10

Wow. How very mature of your bf. He's a keeper. If there's a reason that your bf doesn't think you're ready, you're certainly not ready.

Is it "wrong"? That depends upon your views on sex, religion, ethics. Most people would say yes (including most people who answer here, apparently. But "it's wrong, it's illegal... wait till your married" isn't an acceptable thoughtful response, is it?)
Is it wrong for you? Almost definitely. It sounds like you may have fooled yourself into believing that you're emotionally, physically, and spiritually ready for sex, but obviously your bf sees something there. (It could be that he's not ready, either. And, depending upon the law in your jurisdiction, that could be statutory rape.)

Definitely back off. Think about it for a while. Find other ways to explore your sexuality. Almost all girls who lose it before, say 17 or 18, regret it later. Not to say you will, but there's absolutely no hurry here.

Answer 11

Is it wrong? No. Is it the wisest thing to do at 14? Definitely not.

Look, you have a great boyfriend who's been there, done that. I know it's irritating when people say they know what's best for you, but in this case, really take it to heart that this guy really cares about your well-being.

Focus on getting to know yourself better...read great novels or start planning a graduation trip to explore Europe or Asia.

Besides, your body's still growing and people who have sex early in life tend to develop some strange sex issues a lot later in life...and more wear and tear down under if you know what I mean.