Our 15 year old son is hot for his teacher. He broadcasts this even to his mom and I. Should I be concerned?

Question

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She is a very pretty and sexy lady of 38 years old. She is very playful around our son and seems to favor him. We have talked to her but I would never approach her and say "Mrs. White, our son has the hots for you so would please push him away if he comes on to you". It is a tough position because I cannot tell her anything at this time nor have I seen any indication that anything is going on. He is always where he is supposed to be.

What concerns me is what seems like an epidemic in America with these female teachers sleeping with teen boys. So with no crime committed, what do I do? Do I sit back and hope our son does not move strongly toward her and she accepts his advances. We have talked to him but he is still smitten by her. She is married but dresses very sexy, she is not a conservative woman. His mother and I are very open minded and even we have a problem with this because of his age.

What would you do?

Answer 1

O my word, talk to your son!!!!!!!! I mean you seem to be of the perception that a relationship with this lady won't be good for him. TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!!!! Thats your son, your best friend, your amigo and you went thru the trouble to talk to us instead??!?!?!!? My god dad! I have a feeling if you talk to him about how this isn't a good thing, and you guys actual have a good relationship, then you having everything to gain from that conversation..... so why don't you? Is he that intimading? Or you that lost on whats right for you son? Ballz up Pops....no offense, its just silly, you can solve so many problems by just having the right conversation and relationship, go to it! Or you could just by him a hooker, that would save you the "trouble"

Answer 2

I'm afraid I can't talk to you from experience, as I currently only have an unborn child on the way.

But I do remember having a crush on my Social Studies teacher in junior high school (I guess what is known as middle school today).

I think it's perfectly natural, and I would even go as far as to say that all pre-teens and teens take a particular liking to a certain teacher of the opposite sex.

The problem though, as you pointed out, is that there is a new generation of unscrupulous teachers that sometimes take advantage of the innocence and vulnerability of kids to satisfy some of their own sick urges.

You really don't know who the next crazy teacher is these days. So I would definitely have a talk with your son. Let him know that he doesn't have to be ashamed to have a crush on a teacher.

But just reason with him and help him to understand that there are basic principles which should be followed for this sort of thing. Number 1, she's more than twice his age.. Number 2, she's married and you would never want another man's wife anyway.. and Number 3, these days it just isn't safe to get too involved with a teacher or any member of staff.

He needs to realize that he is in school to learn, and nothing more. He will experience more of life beyond middle and high school. He will eventually find a girlfriend that is around his age and shares much more in common. He will even fall in love on day, and start a family, raise children just like you have with him.

Explain the natural progression of life to him, and allow it to sink in.

Like I said, it's cool to check out your hot teacher. We all did it. I can still remember to this day, some of the tight skirts my teacher used to wear! LOL

But let it end there and he'll be fine.

Answer 3

First of all, there is no "epidemic." That's media sensationalism. Since you're a grown man, I'll speak to you bluntly. It sounds like he's got a very healthy sex drive, and he goes to class and is able to half-flirt with a pretty and intelligent woman with a nice personality and there's the taboo aspect to it. Also, he probably gets a daily eyeful of probably a nice set of boobs, and a great butt in tight slacks. It's normal, but he may be obsessing too much. That's the problem.

I remember when I was about 12 or 13, I had a friend named Javier. His parents were from Spain. I was absolutely doe-eyed for his mom, who was about 33 maybe. I dreamed about her, literally! Now, my sex drive wasn't overwhelming, so it didn't get beyond the healthy attraction stage. I never peered into her window, okay. It sounds like your son needs a talk, to help you determine if he is overly obsessed. You know, gawking at her butt in class is okay..... but he needs to know where the line is dad, and that's your job.

Answer 4

I get sex-product e-mails on a weekly basis. Those are just spam mails that promote some weird sexual products, nothing to worry about. I'd just ask him politely if he's involved in that, or if it's just some unwanted e-mail.