Hi thanks for reading my question?

Question

Hi thanks for reading my question I am 55 and love my wife to bits, our sex life is pretty poor (may be my fault I am not sure) As a male we are given at birth a strong sex drive! At my age the sex drive is still strong but my wife is indifference to my instincts. I would love to get that feeling that we had when we were younger. What is the recipe? Can you help? Should I try the excitement of an affair?

Answer 1

Skip the affair. It's a great fantasy but the reality of it stinks. Sit down and talk to your wife. Tell her your feelings and ask her for some suggestions.

Answer 2

Yes go ahead have an affair !! Why do men seem to think this is an answer to personal problem? Can`t you see this would be the start of a much bigger problem?
Instead put your energy into wooing your wife, bring her flowers, buy her sexy underwear, take her to an Hotel for a weekend of love (that may not mean sex) Once she realises you still love her and find her attractive she may decide to become more interested in sex.

Answer 3

News FLASH! Most people, not just men, are born with a strong sex drive.
My husband is 64 (I am 57) and our sex life is romantic, fun, cozy and profoundly satisfying.
How long has your sex life been in the toilet? Has your wife gone through the "change." I bet SHE would love the feelings she got when she was younger.
She doesn't want empty sex for you, she wants to feel special. All women want to feel special to the one they love.
Make her feel special and your life will change.
Do not "fix "your marital problems by bringing another woman into it. Then you will have 2 dissatified women on your hands, and your wife (that you love so much) will take half your stuff if she ever catches you (which she will, when she figures out you have stopped being so "Needy.")
My advice? Start small so she doesn't suspect you of straying.
First week, tell her she looks nice. Next week, tell her she smells good. Open the car door for her-starting today. Tell her you want to celebrate that it is Tuesday, by going out for dessert and coffee. Bring her a flower from the front yard, and give her a hug. Suggest a second honeymoon.Tell her you have loved your life together.Woo her a little.
If, after a couple of weeks of active, noticeable wooing, she is not responsive, ASK her if she has any interest in a sex life (with you) anymore. Tell her you have been trying to show her how special she is. Ask if she has noticed any difference.
If she says yes, then tell her you want her to tell you what she needs to get her in the mood for romance. Then LISTEN and do that. It will probably
take her a while to get it out, because a lot of older women are reluctant to tell anyone what they want--in any area of our lives.
My bet is you don't do much helping around the house. Men who do housework willingly, get la!d.
You might find out she has been withholding and angry at you for 25 years. Let her tell you. Let her feel safe. You might just fix it.
If she says no, ask her if she is ok with you taking a lover/paying a prostitute or mast!rbating, since you have natural needs that are not being met at all at home.
Tell her you don't want to do that, but you are going bonkers.
Ask her what "WE" should do.
Make it a problem you BOTH have, and how are BOTH of you going to handle it. If one person of a couple has a problem, BOTH of you have a problem. Offer to go to marriage counselling for "our problem."
You could be in for some great loving sex, or you could be headed for more trouble. Try to remember you love your wife and want what is best for HER, too.
Most normal women, even after menopause, would be delighted to have a partner for playtime--if you are also pleasant and helpful, loving and generous when you are standing up.
If not, fix YOU and the problem will solve itself.

Answer 4

... not just no, but HELL NO!! Affairs are for selfish people and you've already said that you love your wife, so rule that possibility out. How about trying to "prime the pump" a bit. How about dropping hints in the morning so she'll think about it all day and can't wait to get out you that night. Instead of, "brace yourself, sweety, I'm having sex on you again. Are you there? Hey, wake up!" Perhaps you should turn on the old charm, not because you want sex but because she deserves to be made to feel special. Instead of thinking of having an affair on her, how about seeming jealous. Make her think that you feel other men want her, and let her know that you're glad she still chooses to stay with you. Make her feel like a queen, and she'll take care of you like a king, my man. But do it because you love her, and her reaction will come naturally, once she feels cherished and special - not just a f**k doll.

Welcome to the neighborhood, things move kinda fast around here, so hold on!!

Answer 5

GO ON HOLIDAY WITH YOUR WIFE!
absolutely No to an affair, if you love your wife. An affair will create a distance bigger than the one you have already. Routine makes life boring. Start doing things differently, like deciding to go for a drive, being extra romantic towards your wife, little surprises for her. Shes probably feeling neglected. You need to do new things together, like joining a ballroom dancing class etc.

Answer 6

If you want to stay married to her I suggest not an affair. Talk to her and get her ideas on the matter. Maybe some counseling for sex issues, you know there is such a thing as sex therapist. We humans do seem to loose that gusto for our spouse over time but it does not have to be that way. The biggest mistake humans make is to not talk to each other before making a wrong turn in trying to fix our relationships. Why when we need to fix us we will turn to every one but the one we need the help with? If she doesn't seem to take you serious when you approach the subject, then make it clear to her that you are seriously trying to make your marriage last.

Answer 7

NO dont have an affair. It will just ruin your relationahip. Maybe theres a reason your wife has lost interest. Try talk to her. Why not try something completley different. Be very romantic with her, not just a once off. Pay her lots of compliments. Give her attention. A woman needs to feel wanted. Hope everything works out.......

Answer 8

No on the affair. That's not going to help.
As for what you can do to get your wife in the mood...
Just try and remember what it was that made her happy when you were younger and surprise her with that. I bet you haven't done anything in a while to make her feel like she's special. That's the kind of thing we women want. We don't want to be your sex toy. We want to feel respected and cherished.

Answer 9

if you have an affair then you don't love your wife as much as you say you do. have you talk to your wife about this may be if she knew how you fell she would think of some things that she can do to change .i sure she will try just about anything if it will help your marriage .but if you go out and cheat then your not being fair.

Answer 10

Don't cheat, it's not worth it! Role playing might always be a good way to spice things up and get some excitement! She might also just have different needs and wants now. Ask her what you can do for her! Satisfy her wishes and put her first!!! Take her out and treat her the way she deserves to be treated. Don't waste your energy on an affair.