Why do you stay married?

Question

If you are unhappy?

Answer 1

i don't think people should stay married because of circumstances. we all deserve the right to be happy.
lots of people are afraid of change even though that's what they long for.....if it ain't right get out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

Happiness is a state of mind.

You choose to be happy, no one makes you happy.

Happiness comes and goes depending on many factors.

You can be happy even if your circumstances would say otherwise if you are an optimist for example.

Or you could be unhappy while you have everything that is worth living for, if you suffer from depression or are a person who looks at the glass half empty.

So happiness is not necessarily a good measurement to determine if you should end your marriage. You need to look at other factors that are not so arbitrary. Like: Is your husband faithful? Does he belittle you or abuse you? Does he listen to your input and take it into consideration when you make decisions? Is he a good provider? Does he allow you to pursue outside interests, education, friends, hobbies? Does he love your children (if you have any) or does he want children (if you want them). Do you respect him, trust him, like him? Is there anything you can do to make things better in your life? Is the source of the unhappiness inside you and not inside your marriage? Do you feel like there is more to life than what you have? How can you achieve happiness?

Do not get divorced until you examine all these questions because if you are an unhappy person by nature, you could push yourself into a worse situation and lose someone who cares about you. Seek counseling from church or a professional.

Good luck

Answer 3

I am very happily married, but I can tell you that if I was unhappy in my marriage I would end it. There are many people that stay in unhappy marriages just wasting their lives away. If you're unhappy, try to see why you are unhappy. Sometimes, there is no specific reason for the unhappiness. Maybe it is depression, may be it is that person you married is not quite the same person anymore. Whatever the reason, think about it, think it twice, and if you decide to end it; make sure you do it diplomatically. Abuse shouldn't be the only reason to end a marriage, unhappiness is a very valid reason to end it. Life is too short to be spent unhappy.
I think people that try to tell you that marriage is for life, and "until death do us part" are full of it. Marriage should last only as long as both parties want it to last. Also, that guy that says he would kill his wife if she ever left him, is a total psycho. Saying stuff like that should be a very valid reason for your wife to leave you, no one should be threatened to stay in a marriage. Get a life dude..

Answer 4

Unhappiness is transitory. So is happiniess.
Dating and living together are by nature transitory.
Marriage by nature is not supposed to be a transitory state.
If you declare your commitment in marriage vows, you are willing to ackowledge the transitory state of happiness and unhappiness. You deal with both those states together.
Also, you get older. And wiser. And more forgiving. And you realize how hard other people have tried to deal with YOUR crap. This makes a huge difference.
You realize that the people you would be dating or looking to marry bring their own emotional baggage (which is something you don't think of when you are in your 20's.)
Ask the same question of someone on the job: Are you happy? If they make enough to live and have some hopes of better prospect in the company, they may not be happy about everything but there are some things that make them happy. If they tell you the things that make them unhappy, you might say, 'Well, why don't you leave? Why do you stay?' They will tell you - look at the unemployment rate, look at my job skills, look at these benefits I get on the job that insure health coverage for my family, the money that puts food on the table, the bonus that allows my family to take a vacation.
In short, they will list all the realistic factors that figure in their decision to stay on the job. Not the subjective factors since those are transitory. They will usually try to work on problems in order to keep their jobs rather than walk.
People usually try to work on problems in marriage rather than walk.

Answer 5

That's a question that is difficult to answer truthfully, coz unless you have actually been there its impossible to say either way.Lots of people stay together for very different reasons even if they are basically unhappy.My parents stayed together for years (he used to have flings on a frequent basis) and she was involved with someone else(long term).They said that they stayed together because of their children and once we had become adults they divorced and got on with their lives separately.Not sure if i would do that though, coz they both missed out on a lot of happiness because the were miserable being together.They are both happy, but apart now! The point is...... while they were unhappy but staying together for the kids sake, the kids were suffering coz they were living with 2 unhappy adults!

Answer 6

Unhappy about what? When I was in marriage counseling years ago our therapist said it is just as easy to save an ongoing relationship as it is to start a new one. This statement really made me stop and take a long hard look at why I was unhappy and what my reasons were for seeking a divorce. There are different degrees of unhappiness--lots we create ourselves-some we don't. Only you know for sure if your marriage is worth trying to save

Answer 7

Because unless their is abuse, addiction or adultry etc. Then leaving an unhappy marriage is not going to bring you happiness.

There's an old saying (maybe an Emerson or Whitman?) about how you can travel the world over looking for beauty, but will never find it if you don't take it with you.

The same is true with happiness. You have to find happiness in whatever situation you are in, or you won't find happiness in leaving it. And that applies to more than just getting divorced.

But since that is the topic at hand, let me just say: Divorce is Hell! And it will bring you further unhappiness and misery (again, unless there is one of the "3 A's" mentioned above).

Good luck finding your bliss inside yourself.

Answer 8

Possibly its just habit. Sometimes you think better the devil you know. Its stupid but some people stay together until the kids are up (which is what I did) then its too late to move on. If you are unhappy in your marriage you need to do something about it before its too late because you only get one chance at this life.

Answer 9

I think unhappiness happens whether I'm married or not. Life sucks, period. I think marriage offers some companionship and a chance to have a family, maybe more financial security than if I went it alone. Love too...

Answer 10

People made a commitment when they took their marriage vows: "For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer". In a marriage, there will be unhappy times, and that's when one should remember their vows and the commitment they made.
Instead of leaving the marriage, they should stay, try to work on the problems, and solve the unhappiness.

Answer 11

Because you have 3 girls who want both their parents and it would destroy them for it to be any other way.Reba Mcintire said it in a song.HE NEEDS THE KIDS AND THEY NEED ME.I want be without my kids every other weekend and he doesn't want to either.We seperated about 5 years ago over his affair.I never kept his kids from him.I took them to see him everyday when he wasn't at my house visiting with them because thats is what kept my kids happy.It destroyed abig part of me,I could not heal from what he did,but my kids made it through our hard times without being affected and thats all that mattered to me.They did not ask to be born or have a parent who could not stay faithful.I want destroy my kids because I am unhappy with their dad.I have lived ny life and it has always been unhappy for as long as i can remember so maybe it was just never meant for me to be happy.I don't want my children to know the pain and anguish i have known all my life.my husband and i agree that our kids happiness is all that matters.He really loves me but there is so much baggage that my kids happiness is all that matters now...