. . . and i'm afraid it will seriously and forever ruin their relationship. how can i get my parents to step back and let their 35 year old daughter live her own life. She is jewish, successful, making very low 6 figures and owns a nice condo. He is 32, Mexican-American and working a low-paying job that is probably just enough to get by.
2007-04-16 09:44:03 · 13 answers · asked by WellWillIt? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Great. They can celebrate Cinco de Matzo together.....
2007-04-16 10:00:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can get your parents to step back and let your sister live her life. Your sister is an adult and is capable of choosing who she wants to be her husband. Your parents are probably concerned for their daughter because of his job situation, but it's really none of their business. I married someone of a different culture and my parents disliked my husband just for that reason, but they came around and now respect him. It's time your parents came into the year 2007 and not 1957 where the husband was the breadwinner of the family. They should be happy your sister found someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with instead of putting down someone just because he makes less money and has a different cultural background than them. Show your sister you're happy she's marrying and maybe this will show your parents they are making a mistake.
2007-04-16 11:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by 2Beagles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money is not everything... And he may have other plans for a different job in the future... Money does not buy true love... It just exists when it is found and on who it is found...
If they have known each other a long time, and for crying out loud 35, is time to let her make her own mind over...
Even if it means making mistakes along the way...
No one can say for sure if it will be good or bad, but when the time comes no matter what, they need to be there for her though good and bad...
And if she loves him, then it is time to accept him....
My family didn't want me to marry my hubby and we are going on 15 years together... Granted, the changes he made were small miracles but he changed himself, anything is possible through love....
Now they know they were wrong... And have nothing but good to say about him... â¥
2007-04-16 09:55:26 · answer #3 · answered by Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister needs to handle this one on her own, Hon. My mother was overbearing for years. One day I let her know point blank...."Mom? Your job is done here. I am a grown woman, and whatever I do is of no reflection on how I was home trained, so you need to back off and let me make my own mistakes, the same way you did." It didn't work. I stopped talking to her for six months, completely, until she "got it", that the rules had changed, and she was no longer running my life. Now, she might not like what I do, but she doesn't try to force me into her way. She doesn't want me to "not talk" to her again. Nothing you can do will change the stance of your parents...and if they really love her, the relationship might be tense for a while, but LOVE is unconditional between a parent who really loves their child and that child, so they'll get over it.
2007-04-16 09:54:43 · answer #4 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard for parent to adjust their hope, dreams, and expectations once their children are grown.
As a matter of fact, it is only because your parents want the best for your sis that they are so upset.
With that being said, these feeling are not healthy. If your parents continue to express negative remarks towards your sister and her future spouse, they will only push her away and make their bond (hers and her boyfriends) tighter. If your parent really don't want her to marry this person for legitimate reasons, then they should find "clever" ways to have her see these flaws. But simply telling her that he is not good enough won't work.
In my case, my in-laws made the huge mistake of letting me know how much they disliked me. So now that my husband and I have been together for 7 years, they have had to kiss my butt to be able to make it up to me (they hope to see grandchildren someday).
2007-04-16 09:59:42 · answer #5 · answered by jules_xcess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As hard as it is going to be you can not, nor should you, get in the middle of a dispute between your sibling and your parents.
Love your sister and stand by her side. Love your parents and if they say something you disagree with or is blatantly disrespectful to your sister or her fiance then you need to stand up and say something.
My sister tried to step into the middle of a disagreement between my parents and I to no avail. All that it netted her was sadness and frustration. As adults we need to realize that we can not and should not fix other peoples problems. We do however need to stand up for what we believe to be the right and correct thing to do in a certain situation.
Love and support your sister. She will be there for you when you need it and who knows perhaps your parents will learn something from your loving and kind attitude.
2007-04-16 09:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes parents put high expectations on for their children. Unfortunately your parents do not have any right or control on who your sister falls in love with. Maybe your sister is the only one who can see past his low paying job.
2007-04-16 10:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents did not care for my husband. We didn't see them very often during that time. After a few years they saw the error of their ways and started to like him. It did not hurt our relationship long term, but it would have been nice to have those few years back.
2007-04-16 10:15:06 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either your parents will ultimately accept your sister and realize that her happiness is far more important then marrying a wealthy man within her faith, or they won't. I don't know that there is anything you can do other than be there for everyone and stay out of the fight.
2007-04-16 09:51:55 · answer #9 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They do not have to like him, just accept him. If they love their daughter (your sister) then they will accept the choices she makes and love her just the same, whether they agree or not. It isn't much of your concern as you can't control your parents feelings or your sister's decisions. Stand by your sister and be happy for her.
2007-04-16 09:49:10 · answer #10 · answered by Tangled Web 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what?? its not your problem. my mom and dad didn't like the man I married and now they are over it because they see I'm happy and are fine they will get over it if they don't then its really their loss because the man will not want them to be around if they decide to have kids together so you should talk to them not her.
2007-04-16 11:31:27 · answer #11 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋