Im very analytical, and I hate it.?

Question

It feels like a monkey on my back all the time, if I like someone, and they like me, and I say ''goodbye'' and she does not say goodbye the right way I want her to, I think to my self, what did I say, what did I do. It runs through my mind all day. Im really getting tired of it. It feels like OCD. It effects me on other things too.

Answer 1

i have the same problem, but i like being obsessive, except when it comes to "embarrassing" things, which are usually not embarrassing, but i have no confidence so i think they are and they bother me all day. just accept it and you'll be happier. learn to like it, like i did.

Answer 2

I have a friend like that and it drives me crazy. It's a real "turn off". What can you do? The fact that you can acknowledge your problem is a step in the right direction. If it's really OCD, then you might have to see a professional. If it's not OCD, perhaps you can try thinking about how people hate to be analyzed and how your friend might come to resent you for it. Let this play itself out in your mind over and over again and see if it can "counteract" your urge to analyze. Best wishes to you.

Answer 3

I'm very analytical also and I know exactly what you are going through. I would not change a thing at all. I know sometimes when I do it I seem to lose friends. Oh well, some people in this world just prefer to just do random talking without analyzing the situation.

Answer 4

First off. Look at every situation through their point of view as well as your own. This will help you understand the behavior of people more. Also realize that most people don't have the same method of thought as you do. You must break out of your way of thinking to understand why people do what they do. I know it's really hard, but not impossible.

Some more confidence will go a long way as well. This just comes in time and the will to inch out of your comfort zone little by little.

Answer 5

I use to be that way so I know what you mean. I don't know what I did to change, but I'm no longer that way and I feel free. Part of it is that I don't care what other people think of me when it comes to things I can't change (well I still care if people think I smell bad for example, but that's something I have control over). I don't know how I got to this point, but once you don't care about what people think about you, you won't have to analyze everything. Oh and part of it is I try to be nice, but not overly nice (I'm not a doormat).

Answer 6

you care so much what other people think about you. you have to understand that every person doesn't think and act the way you do. some are sweet, some are not but that doesn't mean they don't care. most people are just not too open to show their feelings towards the other person. some are reserve but again that doesn't mean they don't care. an understanding that most people doesn't think and feel the way you do can help you in coping with your insecurities.

Answer 7

realy, it's nothing wrong with you, it's the same way i am. You're just observant. it's a good thing. Don't worry about people not saying things the way you want them to. Ask yourself "what did they mean when they said what they said, the way that they said it?" You have to learn how use your characteristics/attributes to get the desired result. And if people still act funny, then forget'em.

Answer 8

It's OCD and I have it really bad, too. I have thought the same things you described. But since you didn't actually ask a question, I don't have an answer for you.

Answer 9

This might seem to be a tough one, but interestingly enough, you really can turn this around. Sounds like a couple of things are going on. First thing is the criticism and analysis. Second thing is the running through your mind all day long. Take care of the first thing, and the second thing will start to calm down on its own, believe it or not. It works, because I've been through this myself!

Most of the things/people we criticize are clues to what we don't like about ourselves. We actually tend to criticize others because we are not feeling good about ourselves. Okay, so find ways to begin looking at yourself and accepting yourself, just as you are. Yes, you are FINE just the way you are! Sure, we can all use a little tuning up, but you sound like a thoughtful and caring person to me. I like the way that you want to be less criticizing and less analytical. I also like it that you have the skill of analyzing, because that's a valuable skill when used properly.

The more you accept yourself, the more you will accept others and the world. There are tons of things that are "wrong" with ourselves and out there. Nothing is perfect. True. And that's okay! Nothing is perfect... and it's okay!

Some things you can change, and others you cannot. If you feel it's important to change something, and you see ways to start changing it, then go for it!

Now, about the things that you cannot change. Learn to accept those things as they are. Realize that you have the wisdom to know the difference between things you can change and things you can't. And that you don't have to recognize or change everything that's not perfect. If you start living that one principle today, you will find much peace and acceptance of what is.

Let things be what they are, and let yourself be okay with that. When something is bothering you, and it's one of those things that you either can't change or you don't feel like changing, then just say to yourself, "It is what it is..." That's such a powerful statement, isn't it?!! "It is what it is..." You can say to yourself, "It is what it is, and that's okay..." and then gently move on... like water flowing down a gentle river...

If you get into criticizing yourself, telling yourself that you're too analytical and so on, then you can say to yourself, "I like myself. I'm a pretty darn good person. Yes, it's true, I tend to be critical and analytical of myself and others. Fortunately, I'm learning new ways to harness that tendency and to use it in healthy ways. And I'm finding new, productive and positive ways of being every day... I like myself as I am today, and I like what I'm becoming."

Decide that you're going to focus on what's right, good, and wonderful with yourself, others, and the world. What things do you like about yourself? About others? About the world? Make a list. Feel free to say what you want as you make the list. Don't criticize your list! Put criticism and analysis on hold for a while. Just brainstorm everything you like about yourself and the world, without criticizing what you're writing. When you finish, read the list and appreciate all the great things about yourself, others, and the world.

Get yourself a journal, or start one on your computer. Each night before you go to bed, write down three things that you are thankful for. It can be something that happened that day, or it can be something you've just realized. For example, when the other person didn't say good-bye the way you liked, ask yourself what you DID like about her and your time with her. Was she fun to be with? Did she have a great smile? Did she make you laugh? Whatever it was that you liked, write it down and express that you are grateful for it. Find the good in each situation, in each person. Begin to focus more on the positives in yourself and in life...

Being analytical or critical sometimes comes in handy, doesn't it? Of course. People who are scientists or editors must use analysis and constructive criticism in their work. It's very helpful to be analytical when we are making life decisions, like whether to go to this school or that one, whether to read this book or that one, whether to get involved with person or not, which car to buy, and so on. Obviously, your analytical skills can be very useful in certain ways.

Once you learn to harness your analytical mind for tasks where it is useful and to set it aside when it's not useful, then you will have gained such a great and powerful skill for life!

Our minds have many parts and many "voices". As you can imagine, among all these voices, we all have a very powerful little critic. Yours seems to be extra-powerful and extraordinarily active. So that can be a strength for you, you just need to use him appropriately and don't let him hog all the "mind time." You need to find out when it's appropriate and helpful to engage your little critic and when it's not.

So if you find yourself thinking those overly analytical and critical thoughts at times that are not helpful, then just have a little talk with your little critic. Tell him/her, "Okay, you're very valuable, and I'm glad you're with me, because you do come up with some very helpful stuff. But there are other parts of me that need a voice too. That's only fair, don't you think? So when I'm thinking about my self-esteem, or about my friends and colleages, or about that girl I met last night, or when I'm just relaxing and listening to music, I'd like to use some of my friendly complimentary happy and satisfied selves, instead of my little critic. Would that be okay with you? I know you don't want to hog all the mind-time, do you?"

The little critic is a very fair and just being. Once he sees that he is being a bit too active and is not letting the other voices in your mind have a chance to talk, then he will agree to quiet down and give the others a chance a flourish. Then you can start to develop your compassionate voice, your humorous voice, your fun voice, your poetic voice, your silly voice, and so on...

You can have funny conversations with the little critic if he pops up at a time when you don't need him. Just recognize he's there and say, "Okay, I see you, you little imp! Thanks for your analysis! Now I need some encouragement and positive thinking, so you can go rest a while, okay? Tell my funny voice to come forward, I need a laugh!" And away the little critic will go, smiling at you and wishing you well!

So it's okay! Just loosen up, relax, have fun, and know that you've got some special talents with your little critic!

Good luck to you!!!

Answer 10

Are you a cancer?