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I have a friend who i really fell for but he was older than me and i knew my parents would totally veto that idea.. so we just talked about going out.. Well he and i talked for 5 months about it and i kinda think i was in love with him .. but he went through some tough times and at 18 he commited suicide .. and now i cant move on im not happy about anything anymore is it wrong for me to move on and forget all about him..?

2007-04-16 09:15:35 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Friends

18 answers

NO IT'S IMPERITAVE THAT YOU FORGET AND MOVE ON '
IT'S FUNNY HOW HUMANS ARE WIRED WE ARE WIRED TO FORGET PHYSICAL PAIN BUT NOT EMOTIONAL STRANGE ISNT IT? AS IF WE WERE TO REMEMBER PHYSICAL PAIN WE WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING AS THE SENSATION OF PAIN WOULD STOP US FROM EVEN TRYING THINGS, LIKE WHEN YOU WHERE A KID AND PICKED UP SOMTHING HOT IT BURNED YA AND AFTER W WHILE THE PAIN WENT AWAY, NOW WHEN YOU THINK BACK ON IT YOU CAN REMEMBER THE EXPERIANCE OF PAIN BUT NOT THE PAIN IT'S SELF, IT'S OFTEN DIFFERANT WITH EMOTIONS AS JUST THINKING ABOUT A PERSON WHO YOU LOST CAN CAUSE THAT FEELING TO COME BACK FULL FORCE, YOU WILL NEVER BE OVER THIS GUY, ALL YOU CAN DO IS FIND SOME ONE ELESE TO LOVE EVEN MORE AND BUILD A LIFE WITH THEM, BUT WHEN EVER YOU THINK OF THIS PERSON YOU'LL FEEL THE PAIN AGAIN SO REALLY YOU MUST FIND SOMEONE TO MAKE YOU FORGET OR AT LEAST HELP YOU MOVE ON

2007-04-16 09:23:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12 4

Losing someone you love is REALLY difficult...
I think the most important thing for you to do is listen to yourself. You are probably depressed (since you say "i'm not happy about anything anymore). This is a typical symptom of depression and something that many people struggle with. You may need a support group or some counselling to get through this difficult moment... But in the meantime, I want to say a few things...

You are alive. It is really terrible that your friend committed suicide but you are still here. At some point in time you will move on. Only you will know when you are ready. Each person is different. Be patient with yourself. It takes time to feel that you are ready to move on. I don't know how long it's been... but if it has already been several years then you really should get some help. On the other hand, if it's only been a couple of months, then you may just need more time to process all that has happened.

No matter what happens, remember one thing. Moving on does not mean forgetting about him. I'm sure that you will never forget him and some of the experiences or conversations that you shared together. Moving on simply means recognizing that you are still alive and want to live your life. Everyone deserves happiness and there is nothing wrong with allowing that to happen.

When you think about him... ask yourself, would he want me to be mourning him forever and not having my own life? Or would he want me to go on and be happy?

I wish you the best...
Sunshine.

2007-04-16 09:29:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 1 · 1 0

Your friend would have wanted you to go on to live a full and happy life. Remember them always, and live the life they would have wanted for you.

Moving on doesn't mean forgetting about those we loved. I lost my best friend as a teenager, and I've never forgotten her. Rather, I've used her life as an inspiration for a lot of my attitudes: her talent and the tragedy of the way she died have always been a reminder to me about how to live my life and to make good choices.

For me, moving on is about living with the love of a memory... and the memory of a love. It's about remembering only the best of a person, and living in a way they would have approved of at their best.... because we are their legacy, and the way we live our life after them can either honour or shame them, even after death.

Go and live the life your friend would have wanted for you.

2007-04-16 09:30:57 · answer #3 · answered by The Oracle 6 · 0 0

I really don't think you can forget him or why you would want to.. However you can still move on, and i am sure thats what he would want you to do... Suicide is a weak and vulnerable moment in ones life when they are not thinking clearly and unless they get help for themselves or from someone else ,they do it... It is tragic and sad but true.... Happy Times and Trails to you.....

2007-04-16 09:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by dca2003311@yahoo.com 7 · 0 0

As a person who myself had a friend that committed suicide and another friend that was killed in Iraq, it is not wrong to move on, it is wrong to forget about and not learn from this situation.

2007-04-16 09:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mark B 2 · 0 0

No, not wrong at all...but I am sure that you have encountered some emotional trama as a result. Try sitting down and talking with a counsellor at school, or someone in your church about it. Nobody wants to dwell on the lowpoints in life, but if you shut it out, it will only pop back up down the road.

2007-04-16 09:21:23 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Ed 3 · 2 0

it must be hard for you, i don't know what to tell you only sorry. I
went thorough the same thing except i did not do suicide. it was a stupid thing i thought about doing, but now that i think about it if i would have done it, i would not have been living the life i do now, i would not have the friends i have now i would have nothing. i feel really sorry for you i know you miss him. i don't mean to sound mean but don't follow him in his footsteps don't follow him down under, go on with life it's not the end it's only now just beginning a new adventure in your life.

2007-04-16 09:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by bda dancerbat 1 · 0 0

i really understand the feeling.. i have been so close to to suicide with atenolol pills yet i replaced into in basic terms scared they does no longer kill me and that i should be left throwing up with damaged inner organs for some thing else of my life. And yeah I chickened out at very last minute. examine my question, I self damage alot.. i should be a critic if I instructed you each little thing will workout consultation in basic terms high quality contained in the proper reason i think like which will in no way ensue for myself. notwithstanding the perfect i will assert for you, is flow see a well-being practitioner or discover extra pals on-line, and set your self a objective to artwork in route of. it will be some thing, massive or small. desire I helped, sturdy success.. <3

2016-12-04 03:34:24 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

It's not wrong, but you probably shouldn't forget him all together if you loved him. It sounds like you need to talk to someone - maybe a trusted guidance counselor or therapist. They could help you grieve, because that's exactly what you need to do. You need some closure.

2007-04-16 09:20:32 · answer #9 · answered by Kim H 3 · 0 0

No its not wrong, you DO need to move on... but I don't think you will ever forget him. Have you tried counseling? You need to tell your parents how down your feeling... if they tell you to suck it up then go to your counselor at school and talk to him/her about it. They will get you the help you need.

2007-04-16 09:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by boomboombaby 5 · 0 0

Just because you move on does not mean that you are forgetting him. Cherish the good times that you two had but you don't have to kill your life because he is gone. He would not want you to do that. He would want you to go on and live your life to the fullest.

2007-04-16 09:20:56 · answer #11 · answered by certified_true 1 · 2 0

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