I have a friend who is about 10 years my senior. A couple of weeks ago I was supposed to help her move, but some stuff came up and I wasnt able to make it plus I was tired because I work 2 jobs and go to night school. I understand that she was depending on me but I have helped her move to her last 2 houses, and she didnt offer to help me move into my house. Also that next weekend, I didnt make it to her son's first birthday party. I had worked two 10 hour shifts on Friday and Saturday, and the party was Saturday evening plus I had to go into work the next day also. So, I was tired and I hadnt talked with her since I was supposed to help her move. I called her about a week after that and she said she has nothing else to say to me because she was depending on me. I have depended on her for stuff before and she didnt come through and even used my bill money to bail her out of jail when she was preganant and she has never done a favor like that for me.
2007-04-16 08:35:15 · 10 answers · asked by superbad~honeydip 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think its unfair for her to write me off when she has this PATHETIC 'boyfriend' shes been dealing with over the past 5 years who has had a baby on her and left her for a younger girl and proposed to the girl BUT she keeps giving him chances. I dont never remember him being there to help her move. She's given him a million and one chances and I have been there for her all the time and she wants to write me off.
I've written appeal letters so she can get financial aid again. When she was behind in one of our college courses I actually WROTE a couple of essays and papers for her. I have babysitted and braided her hair. When I first met her I used to take her home and go out of my way to pick her son up from daycare. You name it I did it, but she's gonna act like this over 1 incident. I was there when she was cryin about him. I was there when she was goin thru the drama with her 2nd baby's father. Do you think it is wrong for me to think she is over-reating?
2007-04-16 08:40:25 · update #1
I dont understand how he can come and go out of her life as he pleases without any responsibility! She takes him back when he doesnt come thru, and thats been goin on for 5 years! This is my first offence!
2007-04-16 08:49:37 · update #2
It really depends on if you feel this friendship is worth saving, it sounds to me as if it is a little one-sided with you being the one giving 90% and she's giving 10%. But perhaps that's just the impression from your question. Do you get something from this friendship? If so, and you want to keep it going I would suggest asking your friend out to lunch so that the two of you can discuss the problem like adults and without interruptions (phones, kids, etc.). Explain everything that you put here about how much you had worked prior to the two committments with her and how you just didn't have the energy to give anything more and apologize to her for the inconvenience you caused her in her move. Also, apologize for missing her sons' birthday party. Explain to her that working 2 jobs and going to school has been very draining for you and that you just don't have the energy for anything "extra" right now. I wish you the best of luck and God's blessings in whatever you decide to do. If you decide the friendship is best left to die, I'm sure you will find lots of other new friends when you time restraints allow for it.
2007-04-16 08:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your yes be yes and your no be no.
If you told her you would help her move and then not only not helped her but didn't even bother to call her to tell her you couldn't and the same with the birthday party - then you are wrong.
If she hasn't done major favors for you - is it because you haven't asked her to? Because if she didn't volunteer you shouldn't have had any expectations. The same applies when you do something for her - it is with no strings attached and you are wrong if you expect otherwise.
It sounds to me that you are quick to offer or say yes to a request without thinking about how busy your schedule is. It is okay to say, "No, I won't be able to help you move." You don't owe her or anyone else any explanations. Next time, instead of trying to say what you think will make a person happy, try telling them the truth so you won't have to justify breaking your word with the excuses you have given above.
2007-04-16 15:41:18 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's not overreacting. You might be the only person she could depend on and if so then that suuuuckkkkssss. I mean, what if she couldn't move cause you didn't show up and then she had to pay all this extra money and now she can't afford to buy formula for her baby? Or what if she tried to move her stuff on her own and then ended up stubbing her toe on her sofa and now she has to walk with a limp and can only wear sandals? Give her time. Good luck!
2007-04-16 15:40:44 · answer #3 · answered by Yva S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's using you, but then again you've never told her how you feel she is using you so what do you expect! If you don't say things out loud to people they're never gonna know. You let her down when she was depending on you so of course she's mad. Matbe next time it might be wise not to promise things you can't deliver!
2007-04-16 15:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by scribbler767 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is overreacting and she doesn't sound like a good friend.Sounds like you've done a lot and she isn't giving anything back,etc.So,I suggest you just let her go.It seems to me that you're better off w/o her in your life.
2007-04-16 15:40:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After telling her of your apology, the rest is up to her. If she does not understand or forgive, that is now her problem. You have done your part. Sorry it happened.
2007-04-16 15:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a way yes, but she has a right to be mad. i think you still should of called her and explain the situation. Maybe it would have calmed her down.
2007-04-16 15:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by Lucy A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is over-reacting!
In this world there are givers and takers.
She sounds like a taker!
2007-04-16 15:42:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Just dump her she aint ur friend
2007-04-16 15:38:18 · answer #9 · answered by tulsantide12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like neither one of you are good friends to each other.
2007-04-16 15:38:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋