When someone says "you must learn to relax" how do I learn?

Question

I consider myself to be hyperactive and when I get "slowed down" my mind wanders elsewhere and then I think alsorts of things. Even relaxing in the bath seems a waste of time, so does cookin a meal, there seems to be so many things i know ishould be doing. Sometimes i feel guilty other times I think and think and usually find something to mull over which makes me anxious. I need to learn how to relax but I cant see how i can "just stop".

Answer 1

Wonderful question! Yes, you CAN learn to relax and slow down. It will take a bit of effort on your part, but luckily, you sound like a very energetic person who can do it! Here are nine easy steps to becoming more relaxed and focused, and to enjoy life more:

(1) First of all, take a look at what you are eating. There are some food ingredients that can make a person restless and anxious. You want to reduce your intake of sugar, caffeine, salt, and artificial ingredients. If your food has ingredients that sound like chemical names instead of food, then avoid that food! Eat more natural, whole foods. Fresh fruits and salads take no time to fix. If you are drinking coffee, cokes, or tea, try to eliminate these. Drink only one or two cups of green tea each day, at most. This is all the caffeine you need. For snacks, eat fresh fruit, like an apple, pear, or orange. Or have 1/4 cup of raw, unsalted nuts, such as almonds, walnuts, or cashews. Eat three square meals a day. Have one or two servings of high-protein food at each meal. Eat two big salads each day. Avoid foods with flour unless it is whole grain flour (like 100% whole wheat, etc.). Eat whole grains, such as brown rice, instead of white rice. Eat legumes several times a week, such as black beans, chickpeas, kidney beans, lentils, etc. Make sure you are getting the right amount of B vitamins your body needs, not too much and not too little. Especially B6 and B3. If you are not getting these in your foods, then consider taking them as supplements.

(2) Get involved in a regular exercise program for 30 - 60 minutes each day. Walking, jogging, bicycling, swimming, paddling boat/canoe, dancing, playing tennis or other sports, or whatever interests you. Find others who like to do these things with you, so that it's fun for you! Fun exercise will help your mind to become more calm and your body more relaxed.

(3) Take a class in hatha yoga, meditation, or high-quality martial arts. This will train your mind to focus. You may find it hard at first to stick with these, but keep with it. Over time, you will find wonderful results!

(4) Practice relaxation once a day for 10 - 20 minutes. At first you may think you don't have time for this or it's a waste of time. But it could be the most important thing you do all day long! Go to this website for the instructions:
http://cas.umkc.edu/casww/relaxatn.htm

(5) Drink 2+ cups of chamomile tea, either warm or iced, each day. Chamomile is relaxing. Early in the day, have a cup or two of green tea (instead of coffee or black tea). Green tea helps to soften and dispel anxious feelings, making you feel relaxed but with gentle, good energy and focus.

(6) In the evening, about an hour or two after your last meal, drink one cup of warm whole milk. The calcium and warmth are both relaxing and soothing to the mind. The nervous system needs calcium to work properly.

(7) Read the book "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman and apply the principles. Look on the web for information about natural ways to improve or overcome hyperactivity and anxiety.

(8) Consider visiting a counselor or psychologist and asking them to help you. Ask them to collaborate with you and find out if you have hyperactivity and/or anxiety. If you do, then ask them to help you find non-prescription ways to overcome these challenge. (Much can be done without the use of prescription drugs.)

(9) Make some good friends and have fun with them. Find other people who like to do what you like to do, and then enjoy life with them. Get out in nature, enjoy sunsets and sunrises, breathe fresh air, look at the flowers and little animals, enjoy the trees or cactus or whatever is growing around you. Get yourself in the sun for 20 minutes a day, preferably in the mornings around 10 a.m. Enjoy nature with good people in your life, and it will relax you and help you to become more focused!

Good luck! You are on a journey to becoming a new and more relaxed you! You can do it!! I know, because I also have made this journey...

Answer 2

Your mind is your problem.... Your programming is based upon the idea that you aren't getting anywhere or accomplishing anything unless you are "doing" something. Such behavior is based upon desire.... Desire to gain, to have, to control.

Quote from Tao Te Ching
"Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity."

If that doesn't help try a little Redneck Zen.

- Imagine have a big, huntin' dog on a lease named "Desire". It's dragging you along trying to find what you think will bring you happiness. Relaxing is just letting go of the leash for a little while to rest. Don't worry, cause that dog will come back to get you so it can continue the hunt.

Answer 3

Find a hobby. Get busy on something that isn't so "achievement related" if you need to relax. Some people are just more energetic than others, and if not managed properly, this energy could potentially lead you into a very stressful life (that you created for yourself).

Answer 4

The art of relaxing is simply but not worrying.
So not worrying about learning how to relax is a part of that concept.
Once you have mastered that you have achieved relaxation, hence you would have learn how to relax.

Just let go!

Answer 5

Meditation helps. Focusing on alpha waves can also be effective. Hiking and nature watching can get you into the zone. Think of it as putting your brain in neutral and taking your foot off the gas. I'm sure you can see the benifit in that. Martial arts may help you, especially Tai Chi. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

just clear your mind of all thoughts, and concentrate while in a quiet room on what's important in life. If you find it hard to concentrate you may want to look at your diet and check you are getting sufficient amounts of all the different nutrients and ask yourself if you are exercising enough.

Answer 7

I do that all the time.
sometimes i cant even talk to anyone because i forget instantly.
sometimes you should stay still, stand and say "intresting" to yourself. and you'll calm down.
my teacher tought me that. she said when im jumping around in my mind or physically. just stop and say intresting and breathe.

it works for panic attacks too. =)
hope this helps.

Answer 8

You've got to occupy your mind on other things. I meditate or even listen to soft music often helps.

Answer 9

Meditation takes years to master and you have to spend hours doing it. See a good hypnotist! They can do in a few hours what you might never be able to do in your entire lifetime.

Answer 10

I too, am a somewhat tense person.
i've been listening to this for years.
You can change my lifestyle but you can't change my genetic makeup.