Was I wrong?

Question

There has been on-going tension between me and my sister-in-law since my marriage to her brother. We all attend the same place of worship, so after service this lady who I had never met came up to me and introduced herself and when she found out that me and my husband had married she immediately asked how the women (meaning sisters in law) were treating me. I told my husband that she wouldn't have said that if she didn't already know that they could be mean and funny acting. I just couldn't understand why in the world would she say that if she was just meeting me.. Was I wrong in my thinking or do you all agree?

The lady who asked me that question, asked me in front of my sister-in laws.

Answer 1

i don't think that you were wrong. i think she got close to your husband before you or she knows someone who did (or to his brother or another male in the family) people don't just ask questions like that out of the blue.

Answer 2

It was rude of this woman to ask such a question; but since she did, you should have answered by asking, "Why do you ask?"

There is no reason why you and your sister-in-laws should have tension between you, especially since you are Christians (or whatever faith you are). You need to settle your differences like mature women and stop acting like kids. You also should not be wasting time with these idol thoughts. If you didn't ask the woman why she asked such a question, there's no sense in wondering about it now. Of more importance is why you and your inlaws can't get along.

Answer 3

Oh, you are so right. BUT - you shouldn't have rubbed it in his face. So you have some tension between you and your new sisters... keep it to yourself as much as possible. Vent to your hairdresser, mom, or anyone else who will listen. Just don't put him in a position where he feel like he has to take a side. That is very troubling for him.

As far as patching things up with the ladies... stupid and cheerful, as Dr. Joy Brown says. Pretend nothing is wrong. Buy them little gifts, "just because I saw it and it made me think of you." True, you can't buy their love... but it can't hurt either! If they have any decency, they will feel guilty being snarky with someone who gives them presents.

Sorry to hear that it's not quite happily ever after... good luck, and don't worry - everything will be okay. :-)

Answer 4

Well based on that she probably dated your husband in the past or another brother in the family. Or she was at one times friends with the S-I-L's and knew how they could be. Might be an awkward way to introduce yourself but probably doesn't mean anything bad.

Answer 5

You weren't wrong in thinking that, you were wrong in sharing that with your husband. He already knows what kind of women his sisters are. He doesn't need you point it out to him.
Just be polite to them and limit contact to birthdays and holidays.

Answer 6

She's fishing for information to give to your sister-in-law.

Answer 7

some girls are just nosy. you know how they are.
that was pretty rude of her though since u just met her. i dont think she knew. she was probably looking for gossip. or suspected something and wanted confirmation.

Answer 8

Hmm....I have to admit. It sounds like she knows something. I'm betting you're not the first person to run into this.

Answer 9

i would be curious and ask her what she actually met by what she said to you next time i saw her at church. it was probably nothing but to ease your mind i would ask anyway. sometimes we misconstrue what others actually say to us.

Answer 10

Maybe she was just having general conversation.