Men: What made you decide to have an affair?

Answer 1

I've never had an affair.

One of my friends/mentors did. I really don't know what causes a man to want to do that - though it takes two to tango. Like anything it is going to differ from man to man. Some men are overworked, and overstressed. When they come home, they find that their wife is suffering the same maybe even more so because she may also work outside the home, and then has to deal with the chores of the home plus the children. The man, still a man needs some stress release, and goes out looking for it in the best stress release known to humanity - sex.

Sex outside of the marriage is appealing to some men because it is a thrill. It is appealing to others because they think that they can have their cake and eat it too. It gives them the opportunity to be satisfied, or so they think. Other men do not get enough sex in their marriages, and so selfishly they seek it elsewhere. Others are sex addicts and perverts. They will never be satisfidSometimes, it may have nothing to do with it. They may never have even expected anything to happen, which is why it did. They did not have their guard up against the temptation. A little site of cleavage, a little more attention given than should me, an innocent smile, a gentle brush on the arm can give the man the hormone rush enough to plunge into the pool of neverending trouble.

But since I've never had one, and hope I never do, I'm not qualified to answer this question completely.

If it has happened to you, then I'm terribly sorry for the overwhelming feelings of betrayal that you must be feeling.

MEN: If you have a woman who loves you, count it as a blessing, and keep things the way they are. That means thinking with your head that sets on your shoulders - don't ruin your life, your wife's life and children's life and respect for you for a few minutes of fleeting pleasure. KEEP IT WHERE IT BELONGS.

Answer 2

I didn't start out deciding to have an affair, it kind of just worked it's way there after awhile. After reading some of the answers you have gotten so far I could say that I fell into several of the catagories, bored, wife cut me off with sex, but I think was the major cause was just lack of love or touching. We had been married for 15 years and had just drifted apart, we both had different interests, different friends and no communication between us. Unfortunatly for me, I have a very strong sexual drive, and my wife either couldn't or wouldn't keep up with me so that was another problem that helped end us.

Answer 3

Popular to contrary belief all men are not the same. Some do drift and decides to have an affair. You will probably find their reasons for cheating are very different.

Answer 4

Gosh, for those of you that do that, I would only imagine total and complete lack of respect for yourself. Why else couldn't you be honest and let your partner know before you did it???
Never quite understood that. I still "get it" as much as anyone, just always with the same girl. And for anyone to say thats boring, well you just ain't doin' it right!
Also, selfishness in the highest degree. That somehow as long as you felt it was ok it there was 0 thought about how it would affect anyone else.
Truly, if your gonna fool around and cheat, let your partner know before you do it, be honest and then make your decision.
No I am no Christian Right Wing Nut. I just think lying is about the worst thing you can do.......

Answer 5

Sorry for chiming in in this manner, but I just want to ask: you're not expecting to find an *acceptable* reason, are you? Because, there are none of those. I sort of dislike the word "made" in your question, because it sounds like the implication of a lack of choice. "How did you decide to have an affair?" is probably how I would have asked it.

I am pleasantly surprised by the number of honest-sounding answers you have received.

Answer 6

I wasn't getting any at home for about 2 years.
Porn isn't that interesting for more than a few minutes.
Alcohol didn't help.
It was offered to me whilst drunk on a platter.

PS It brought about the end of a 6 year relationship to a young woman who I still love immensely.

Sad, but true; but in my defence I would like to quote the first line and point out that in reality I was very patient and I am just a man after all.....

Answer 7

The only time I've ever had an affair, was because she wouldn't accept that it was over. Drastic times call for drastic measures. Infidelity is wrong and hurtful. It should never be done except under extenuating circumstances.

Answer 8

just to experience the common touch care n affection..just like a new born child, they enjoy make the woman/women feel the same or more than that..later it becomes or even intense..thn they break up and go for the next one..Infact the decision of them having an affair is more than enuf to loose the strong wil of women- not to involve in a relationship..

Later when they see any movie having any intense scene, thts it, they get bored..n hate it

Answer 9

there are two kinds of cheating men in this world.
1. there are the men that are just plain out disrespectful and only care about a womans looks, and whats between their legs.they cheat because a woman was willing or/and she was hot to them.
2.there are men that cheat because there is something lacking in their marriage, and they are looking for another woman to fulfil it.
if you pay attention though most of "the other woman" arent better than the mans spouse.Men mainly cheat because their looking to fill a voided hole.

Answer 10

Alcohol