He said he liked me all the time he was going out with her, but I had a boyfriend at the time. We finished about a month ago and then he broke up with her yesterday.
He called me after and said he wants to be with me... I really like him too, but she's my friend and I'm not exactly sure if me and him would be a good idea. I know friends should be more important than guys and all that.
Should I tell him no? Or yes? I don't want to upset him and I really want to say yes but at the same time I don't want to hurt my friend. He tried to kiss me at a party a couple of weeks ago but I stopped him. Should I tell her any of his? Or just say no and pretend it never happened? Help!!
2007-04-16 06:23:32 · 39 answers · asked by Emma :) 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Your friendship is more important. Guys come and go, and who can you turn to when this guy is out of the picture (as they so often are)?
The mature thing to do is to tell this guy that if he liked you so much, he should never have started dating your friend. And that you have too much respect for your friend and for yourself to ever cross that line.
It may be difficult for you since you like him too. But you need to establish boundaries and don't allow yourself to get into a situation where you may give in to tempation. You can always find another guy.
You should tell your friend, but don't do it while her wounds are fresh. Wait until she's had some time to come to terms with the breakup. Then explain it to her and make it clear that you would never do anything to hurt her. What if someone at that party were to tell her that they thought they saw you two kissing? It wouldn't matter how many times you tell her that nothing happened, in the back of her mind she will always be suspicious because you kept it from her. Your friendship will never be the same after that.
2007-04-16 06:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
"I really like him too, but she's my friend and I'm not exactly sure if me and him would be a good idea. I know friends should be more important than guys and all that."
It says it all right here, but it is a true statement not a "I'm not exactly sure" or "and all that" statement. She's your friend, why go and muck up a frienship? You'll learn (hopefully eventually) that friends are going to be really important becuase men/boys are EVERYWHERE. Even if she says it's "ok" she might be testing you or will just feel better in the end that you chose not to. Besides, can't you find a boyfriend somewhere else? Seems like certain women and a lot of teens date around their friend circle... too much drama and second hand partners... You might want to, but how much of it is temptation? How about when you two actually hook up and the whole time you're together he's telling some other chick he really likes her or even better one of your other friends.
2007-04-16 07:04:38 · answer #2 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, i think that you should keep your distance from this boy. He sounds like a nasty piece of work and just completely rid him of your life. However you could just be being paranoid about all of this, so maybe just wait a while to see how things spread out and if theres any more signs then completely shut him out of your life. Friends DO NOT WORK. trust me. Also i dont know this boy but is he the type ware you can have a real heart to heart long talk? If so then talk to him and tell him what you feel. Its is a but obvious that he is just using you however he might still really like you and carry on wanting to be your friend for real? The best person to choose what to do is you because you have been with him for 4.5 years and nobody would know better how to deal with this then you. Good luck and i hope this all works out in the end!
2016-05-21 03:44:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He dated another girl and says now he only dated her because you had a boy friend. He dated her for a month after you and your boy friend broke up? He was still dating her when he tried to kiss you? Does this sound like the type of character you want to have anything to do with?. He is a very dishonest character, why would you think he is worth losing a friend over?
Keep your friend and tell him to move on.
2007-04-16 06:33:46 · answer #4 · answered by JAN 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is how well do you value your friend's friendship!! If you value her as a friend I would not go out with him!! Your friend will not forgive you!! Well I certainly would not forgive a friend who did that to me!!
Furthermore don't mention it to your friend for the time being - i'm sure she is probably having a hard enough time already without you telling her he is interested in you!! Maybe later on when she over him you could consider telling her if you feel you have the need to tell her!
2007-04-16 06:28:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well guys really came and go. But friend are always there for you this guy seems to be more like I like you now i'll try your friend tomorrow. Just think for a minute how about if you were you friend how would you feel?? if he did this to your friend he can do it to you too. just stay with you friend talk to her splain what going on I m sure if she is a good friend she should under stand> There many guys out there just keep looking.
2007-04-16 06:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by mayde 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough situation. i would wait a few weeks before you make anything final. friends are definetely more important than a guy. just think, you never know how long this relationship could last, but you will always have your friend. i personally wouldn't tell her anything just yet. i'm sure she's pretty upset about the break up. wait it out and then tell her. make sure she's ok with it. i don't think it would hurt "talking" to him, but you don't want to lead him on either. and you never know with the guy. how do you know he won't turn around and do the same to you? listen to your heart and go from there. good luck!
2007-04-16 06:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Tell him no. With over 3 billion men on the planet, there are plenty for you to choose from who haven't dated your friend. And you've already had a close up view of what he's willing to do to a girl if someone else comes along. Keep his behavior to yourself, no use in adding insult to injury for your friend.
2007-04-16 06:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should never hurt your friend like this, Men or boys LOL are much more easier to come by, and your friend would be deeply hurt if you do this to her, not to mention thats a pretty low thing to do. I would never date the boyfriend or ex boyfriend of any of my friends no matter what. Its just off limits
2007-04-16 06:27:47 · answer #9 · answered by jess_n_flip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
to me he sounds pretty bad already and as ppl have sed may dump u for sum1else with his short attention span.
however if u REALLY like him i'd just tell ur friend first that u like him and see what she says. if shes uncomfortable with it then defo say no. but if shes fine with it and u are sure u really like him then why not! espeshially as u have her blessing.
u should tell her afterall if shes a good friend she will understand u can;t chose who u really like and remember u havent done anything wrong, so she cant be mad!
good luck hun! xx
2007-04-16 10:52:50 · answer #10 · answered by bella x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋