I was with a man for 3.5 years. We have one child that is 18 months and i'm a month away from giving birth to the second one. A week after we broke up (this is 7 months ago) he slept with someone. Now he is with someone else and I just don't understand how after 3.5 years it's just easy for him to move on. I don't care about him anymore, i actually feel sorry for his new gf because he's abusive and can never hold a job. (I got smart when he started stealing my money.) I was just wondering how it's so easy for him to move on while im still pregnant. I want to move on and date but obviously im waiting until after i give birth. Please no rude answers this is a serious question.
2007-04-16 06:04:25 · 27 answers · asked by ash 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry to the guys that think I was generalizing. I meant it just for my ex. I know all men aren't like him.
Thanks for your answers thus far.
2007-04-16 06:21:49 · update #1
It isn't any easier, generally, for men to move on than it is for women.
It's just that this particular guy has something seriously wrong with him. He is selfish and appears to treat women like objects rather than people worthy of love and respect. His behavior shows that he is just not a caring individual, and if he ever was, he apparently buried that long ago.
I'm sure that you will one day be found by a man that treats you a heck of a lot better. Then you'll know the difference. Men are generally not emotionless creatures. This one just doesn't appear to have been raised right.
You were very wise to break up with him. For your sake, and the sake of your children.
2007-04-16 06:14:41 · answer #1 · answered by michaeljazz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry Saddness! SOME men are just pigs like that or shall I say dogs and tell you a short story - some don't care where they bury their bone and never will. It has nothing to do with you although I must say this guy sounds like a player, a cheat and like he may have some problems up stairs, if you know what I mean. Good thing you found out how he is now rather then years later... In your case he doesn't even see you as pg. or as the women carrieing his child he can't even bare the thought of you right now only b/c he's not a man he is an animal! Read a good book called Women who run with the wolves -
Anyway it may seem as though he has moved on but he is only having s_x with anyone and everyone who will let him - he hasn't moved on he can't and doesn't know how! This guy is not falling in love he isn't even capable of it right now. It has nothing to do with you and some day he will see things differently - Might not be till he reaches his 40's or 50's but he will and mean time he has a hole lot of learning to do the hard way with many crashes as he makes it on his merry way... Be strong and wise!
2007-04-16 13:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, NO, NO!!! You're generalizing beyond extremes. I disagree with your assessment of men, first of all, as though we are all the same as that guy. You were together with a creep. I've never stolen from any of my relationships and have had a difficult time making the transitions after a break-up. But disregarding my experience, I have noticed that it is usually easier for the ladies to "move on" and the guys usually mope for a longer time, feeling sorry for themselves or confused.
Getting away from that guy is probably the best thing that happened to you. But we're not all like him, he's an insensitive jerk and a loser.
2007-04-16 13:16:39 · answer #3 · answered by forlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's no easier for men to move on than women. Men deal with their emotions so differently than women. Do you really care that he's gone since he was abusive, lazy, and a thief? Since he had children with you yet wouldn't marry you, you shouldn't be surprised that he could walk away from you while pregnant. Be grateful he's gone and take more time to find a quality guy the next go around.
2007-04-16 13:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I've researched this question myself and my conclusions are:
On average women take about 1/2 of the time spent in the relationship to get over the person. So, it should take you about 1 3/4 years. I very proud that you're over him so quickly.
It takes a man approximately the average amount of time it takes them to ejaculate. National average dictates this is about 5 1/2 minutes (give or take a minute or two), ergo, 2 3/4 minutes is sufficient time for them to be over a realtionship.
Studies show that men who think with their penises generally do not have a very high functioning short term memory, which eventually becomes an emotional disabling disease.
Good luck and congratulations on your new baby!
2007-04-16 13:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by redslippers 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I honestly dont believe that its easier for them to move on. We, as women, are programmed differently is all. We are more outwardly emotional and men are more prone to hold things in. I spoke to my ex about why he was so quick to hop onto another girl. After weeks of acting tough, he told me it wasnt. That he does that just because he doesnt want to think about what happens and that being around someone else is just a replacement for dealing with things. Your ex has some issues, yes, but he's suffering in his own way. Dont feel sorry for him, just know that men cope differently.
2007-04-16 13:13:24 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't that he's male that makes it easier for him to move on. It depends more on how much he cared about you and it sounds like he is incapable of the kind of love you felt for him. Some people just don't get it Hun. You just take care of those precious babies and be thankful you are out of an abusive relationship. There is someone out there for you and l wish you all the best.
2007-04-16 13:11:06 · answer #7 · answered by momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moving on with others makes it easier for some people. They don't have to deal with their actual feelings because they just push the feelings they had in the first relationship into the second one. This is not a healthy situation to be in. Take your time and deal with things as they come. Good luck.
2007-04-16 13:10:14 · answer #8 · answered by Jewells 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have learned some men have a 3 second reaction then BAM they are back to the same stuff...
My thought on this is there are a lot of girls out there looking for love and guys know they can find these girls and use them till they don't 'want' them anymore or find something better...
This guy I dated for a few years... Did the same thing when we were kinda seeing each other... I saw him in a store with his new girl friend didn't say anything to me... Now he text messages me to hook up??? while still with this girl... guys brains are just wired differently
2007-04-16 13:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Who knows 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men move on easier b/c they do not invest as much of themselves into relationships unless they truly do love you. Also women a lot of the time grow up thinking that life for them is about meeting the man of her dreams and settling down for a life time together. When it turns out that the one we thought was the ONE is not we are lost and need a new way of thinking about our lives. For a woman a relationship is usually about being with some one you love unconditionally and usually for a man it is about being with a woman whom he find it easy to be with. My man actually got with me b/c I was into drugs, I was good with him in the intimacy dept., I cook the way he liked, I was easy to look at, he likes his women a little chunky which I was, and I seemed to be some one who would not be gone one day when he come home from work like so many women had done to him before I came along. He was willing to settle for no love so to have some one in his life that would not hurt him. Thankfully as we grew up together I was the one he fell in love with.
2007-04-16 13:19:33 · answer #10 · answered by Dayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋