Someone has wronged you, then comes back later with a seemingly heartfelt apology. You choose to accept that apology... you forgive them. Can there still be consequences of the original wrong or would that mean that the forgiveness is not genuine.
Example: If you trusted someone with some personal information, and they did not keep that info to themselves. They violate a trust. Damage done. They apologize, you forgive. If you choose not to share with them again, did you not truly forgive?
Think of this in ways of "cheating" in a relationship, or gossip, or lying or stealing.
Can you forgive these violations of trust and still there be consequences?
2007-04-16 05:27:57 · 17 answers · asked by Conqi 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
there's a big difference between forgiving and forgetting. if someone tells your business and you chose to forgive them but you don't tell them anything from then on i would say you've forgiven them but you didn't forget what they did. just because you don't get over something or because it changes your relationship doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them.
2007-04-16 05:32:36 · answer #1 · answered by JM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is a very complicated matter but we throw it around as though it is simple.
If you say you forgive them, you are not exonerating them for doing wrong but you are letting them know that you know they have wronged you and that you will no longer hold resentment towards them.
If someone says they are sorry, you don't have to immediately forgive them. You can say, "I accept your apology" ; especially if you cannot find it in your heart to forgive them right then or ever.
Forgiving a person definitely doesn't mean you should forget. Allowing someone to reoffend is always silly
Once you forgive someone, you are supposed to have already moved on with pain and frustration of the offense.
There should be NO consequences at all!
2007-04-16 05:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lexie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can and should forgive especially when a "heart felt" and "sincere" apology is extended. However, I don't think one should simply replace all of the established trust back, it has been torn down. Thus, must be rebuilt. If you have forgiven and decided to try to continue the relationship. However, one can forgive and move on; not having a relationship with the individual and this does not make one wrong. In my opinion. One must follow their heart and do what is best for self. God bless****
2007-04-16 05:33:28 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if they say sorry and you forgive them is one thing. But what they did still can't do away. Words hurt more than anything and they will stick with someone for a while so I think that saying sorry is the right thing but the relationship won't be the same. Liek for example for me if someone did something really mean to me and then came back and sorry i would forgive them but I won't treat them the way i used to. Friends are friends until they loose your trust.
2007-04-16 05:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by candi*cane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if the person gives a heartfelt apology and really tries to not repeat the same mistake than it is okay to forgive. However if they apologize and have a but attached to it and just do the same thing again and again you have to question whether you can trust them again or not.
2007-04-16 05:39:27 · answer #5 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's still forgiving if you're more "protective" or more aware of the other person. Meaning, you can still keep them as friends, just pick and choose what you tell them. I do that with everyone, only because, people really don't need to know my entire business. I'm the only one who truly knows what's going on with me, I don't my family much or friends =) it's not a trust issue, there are things that are just really not their business =)
2007-04-16 05:32:50 · answer #6 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really.... as a human being our nature is to trust, but when someone abuses that we pull back. very natural.
Yes you are forgiving but there are not consequences after the forgiving, because the person has not had the opportunity to wrong you again......... you choose not to be so open, that is not a consequence, it is a choice you have made to protect yourself....
their loss is being trusted....
2007-04-16 05:33:42 · answer #7 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly all the words I'm sorry does is to really begin the restoration process...because in protecting yourself you have to ask, am I willing to be burned again in this same manner...because its up to the party who has done the wrong to demonstrate why you can trust him again....if a husband apologizes to his wife for cheating..the wife may forgive, but there is a serious trust issue from the wife toward the husband...the husband must learn that he must demonstrate why he should be trusted in the future, not by what he says, but by what his actions demonstrate....a person can apologize all they want, but if they can't follow that up with the appropriate actions, then what good is the apology
2007-04-16 05:33:54 · answer #8 · answered by sterling_love@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't make things "go away" but it does help.
One of my ex's was notorious for flying off at the handle and saying things she later regretted, but was too proud to admit even making a mistake, much less apologizing.
An apology would have greatly eased the damage she'd done.
2007-04-16 05:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to forgive does not mean to trust again. if you don´t forgive some one, you will be eaten away by hate. to forgive, you let go the hate, and start the healing. it does not mean you have to trust that person again.
the person may be asking for forgiveness so you tell them more things that they may hurt you with, i do not thing the term "turning the other cheek" meant.
to truly forgive, means you have no more hatred for that person. it does not mean you have to trust them again.
2007-04-16 05:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by FarmerCec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋