My b/f of 2 years father of baby, Has been spending all of his money on himself. He bought a sound system for his car, bought a new car and recently bought $2600 dollar rims. May i add that is so unecessary. Since our baby was born he only bought maybe one or two toy's that we went half on. I hve been buying my baby verything from toys to shoes to clothes to formula..Recently i have been bugging him that we need a car seat and still hasn't payed for it. I went out and bought it myself. I was so mad yesterday that i told him that he is selfish and only thinks about him self...Am i wrong for telling him that? Or should i just let him be?Help?
2007-04-16 04:32:52 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like he is immature and being a parent is scaring him. He is spending the money on himself rather than facing the fact that he needs to support his child.
Rather than calling him selfish, it would be better to sit down with him and discuss how important taking care of your child is. Tell him that while rims might be nice for the car, they do not feed or clothe his baby. Remind him that you both have a responsibility to your child.
Take care,
Troy
2007-04-16 04:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you arent being mean at all, once a baby is in the picture both parents should take responsiblity, both should help each other to provide the baby with its needs. I went through that too, and enough was enough, you have to put your foot down , maybe come up with a way that each month he gives you a certain amount of money which would cover some of the cost for diapers, formula, toys , clothing for the baby etc. I dont think you re wrong in telling him he s selfish, although he may just need a reality check, remind him he could buy stuff for himself once the baby's needs are met.
Hope that helps!!!
2007-04-16 11:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by Ocean Blue 236 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well unless you impregnated yourself it took two of you to make this baby so I'd say he should pay at least half of the costs. If he is going out and blowing money on himself like that instead of making sure that your baby's basic needs are met(diapers, formula, clothes) then you should definately tell him that he is being selfish because he is. Also if he doesnt care enough about you and the baby to make sure yall are taken care of 1rst Id say your better off with out him there's plenty of other guys out there that will treat you right. Also If you guys arent living together Id suggest getting a court ordered childsupport order and then if he isnt helping out at least you can do something about it.
2007-04-16 11:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by thumpergirl_1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so totally right, what took you so long? Your boyfriend is acting very selfishly and immaturely. Do you want him to be a male role model for your child? Sit down and talk to your b/f. Sometimes the birth of a child send men into a spiral and they can't think straight. Maybe he's just a little scared and can't get his head on straight and needs some help. If not, adios amigos! Good luck and God Bless.
2007-04-16 11:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We teach people how to treat us, men will treat you the way you allow them too. Just make the decision that you and your baby will be well treated. Know in your heart that you are worthy of the best and it will come to you either by way of him or some one else. When we begin to know inside what we want it will begin to come even when we don't tell any one about it, things will begin to change for you and your baby. But you have to know you are worthy first. Be confident that if he is not the one for you that if he is out of the picture then the right one can come into your life. Don't fall into that trap that (but he is my babies dad) tells us we have to put up with such crap.
2007-04-16 11:49:29 · answer #5 · answered by Dayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no you are NOT wrong. You have all the right in the world to be the way you are with him. He needs to make more of an effort as a father to help supply the baby with whatever he needs. That ain't just your job. Its his job too. Hell if he isn't gonna do ****, then tell him to bounce.
2007-04-16 11:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by Adam L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're absolutely right. Unfortunately, he's your boyfriend and not your husband so your say in how he spends his money is limited. You can ask him or go to court. Not many other options. Good for you for being a standup mother, but you also helped create this problem with you became an unwed mother.
2007-04-16 11:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well It sounds like you have a serious choice to make. This is not going to change. You are not wrong. You can go to marriage counseling or couple counseling. This could help him see his issues and yours. We all have some issues. Anyway, I think you might want to think about leaving him. I hope this doesn't make you to upset. Just think what happend with Daycare, Preschool, School clothes, braces, college.
2007-04-16 12:04:33 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly790 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ages of girls have been where you are honey, learn from it please. This is the dad you chose for your kid. Sadly you did not take time to get him. So now after a kid you do. Cut and run, develop your self ( job training) after two years you say why did I ever like him? Pray, work hard ask God to lead you, I'm afraid your the head of your family now. Don't accept another man unless he is a practicing christian!
2007-04-16 11:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by kim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a typical "baby momma". You choose to have a baby from a scum bag you weren't married to and now wonder why he isn't taking care of his responsibilities? The only one I feel sorry for here is the poor child!
2007-04-16 11:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋