Are affairs an addiction? Do people have any remorse for cheating or is it a sense of entitlement?

Answer 1

Some do and some don't, feel remorse - some people have to make the mistake before they realize that they don't ever want to make that mistake again. Some people are addicted to feelings of lust, some are adddicted to s_x, Affairs are for imature people who don't know any better, for the ones who do that have ego problems and for some it is just b/c they seen it at home growing up now it is normal behavior. Some people don't even know how to say no and some people don't even care..... Look at a persons individuality, life style, there personality, there compassion, morals and their honesty before making an opinion of them and before getting involved...

Answer 2

Some people are addicted to the high of constantly having new sexual affairs. Foreplay is the ultimate excitement before it all.........and that in itself can feel better than the sex you have with a person. Its a challenge and some people thrive on it.It all starts in the mind with obsessive thoughts called lusting. They are compulsive, life threatening , with so many diseases out there.One affair after another is an excellent way to distract and cut off our feelings. When their feelings are cut off how can they be truly sorry for having the affair when they are committed to someone. Is it remorse for the hurt they put upon another person,or remorse for being caught? If the person is truly addicted to affairs they need intense counseling to understand their addiction. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't..........it totally depends on what he has to lose and how much that means to the person. It is always a choice when there is help to controll any disease and the person wants to get better. Sometimes in relationships the addict repents and they are forgiven,but the problem remains,because they don't forgive themselves! Sometimes people are dealing with the addict that goes far and beyond what they can bear, and forgive. We can forgive if we desire to do so, but it has to be based on restoring and a full commitment from both parties.There is much to work on here from all the chronic abuse, lying, deceiving , and the affairs themself. It is a long hard jouney to get emotionally as far from the heart break that you can.........You only learn how to live with it all........it cuts like a knife and always leaves a scar.

Answer 3

I cheated and have been cheated on. All in the same relationship (my marriage). I cheated cuz my husband was out of the country for 15 months and I was very lonely, depressed, etc. It just happened. Was it an "affair"? Not exactly. It was a couple of drunk one night stands (with the same person), a couple of weekends in a row, getting together for the purpsoe of sex. Then I realized I was single handedly ruining my familys life and stopped. The pain and regret and guilt and shame I bared was awful. But far from an all out affair. My husbands cheating was a long drawn out sexual, emotional affair. His lasted 6 months. ON the phone, all day, everyday, dinners with her, sneaking, making long term plans with her, and in my opinion, he felt no remorse until he got caught, and I still question the extent of his remorse. My opinion, having been on both sides of the fence, one can cheat and feel remorse, shame, guilt, etc, IF they realize ON THEIR OWN the mistake they are making and stop ON THEIR OWN. If one has to get caught to stop, they are sorry they got caught, not that they cheated. I tell my husband this all the time. He disagrees with me (ofcourse), promises me it will never happen again, bla bla bla. Affairs, cheating, whatever, are complicated. I dont think its an addiction. I think people cheat when their needs are not being met. This is a good question and a very complex answer is needed. I suggest researching affairs. Google them or get books. Educate yourself and be a good spouse.

Answer 4

I think for some people it's an addiction. They probably get from the other person what they haven't/don't get from their spouse and maybe they find they like it so much (emotional or sexual) that they just can't do without it. However, having said that, I bet the majority of all people who cheat have a great deal of remorse and only a very small handful have a sense of entitlement.

Answer 5

Affairs are people seeking what they are not getting from their current relationship. SOme have remorse and with counseling can put their relationships back together. Others are just weak people and can never be trusted & therefor will never have true happiness with love. As for a sense of entitlement - that's a "guy" thing - conquests - yadda-yadda bull crap. It is a sign of immaturity or ignorance take your pick. People who are in healthy satisfying relationships DO NOT cheat!

Answer 6

Women have some pretty bizarre - and very inaccurate - ideas about male 'cheating' (stupid word). They seem to feel that men think of their partners as possessions, like a car or a yacht - where if you have the biggest and best you don't want another.

But it's not like that at all. If it were, you'd hardly expect to see Hugh Grant paying for a hand job from a hooker in a car-park, would you?

Especially when it comes to sex, most guys don't want *a* woman, no matter how wonderful she is, nor how desperately in love they may be. We're programmed by Nature to pretty much want sex with all the women we can possibly get.

In some guys the drive is stronger than others. And some guys will put up with sitting on that drive - because they'd feel guilty, or they'd be too nervous about being caught out, or just out of a sense of integrity.

How could it come about that men have this drive to shag every woman in sight? Well, these are Boys' Special Secrets, but I'm gonna let you in on them.

All men are descended from a guy called Pete, who had two sons called Cuthbert and Lance. Cuthbert was a delicate chap, with a keen sense of honour and a low testosterone level. When he grew up and married, he stayed 'faithful' (another stupid word) to his wife all his days. She bore him three charming children.

Lance, on the other hand, was a bit of a lad. Eschewing matrimony, he roamed the world. His dashing good looks, carefree attitude and enormous package drew the attention of ladies far and near. As he travelled he left in his wake starry eyes, broken hearts and considerable numbers of offspring.

As time went by and both brothers became old, they retired to a farm together to live out their final days. Their kids frequently paid visits: Cuthbert's three children and their own children; and Lance's seven hundred kids and 3,000 grandkids.

That's enough cod mythology. Has anything clicked yet? From ancient times we have been genetically programmed to be only semi-monogamous at best. The best male strategy is to have one primary relationship with the best woman he can find, but grab any chance around for a bit on the side. It's not something we men chose to do - we were born with it because we're descendants of men who did the same thing.

Any Cuthbert-men who didn't spread it around a little have long since died out, because their smaller numbers of offspring couldn't compete with the gigantic numbers produced by the Naughty Lance types.

Don't expect any guy you ask to confirm this stuff, by the way - especially if they're your partner. We're not crazy.

And don't feel too shocked about the disgusting behaviour of males, either: women have a different strategy, which also involves plenty of extramarital sex. The number of babies born to fathers who didn't sire them is around 20%. But the explanation for *that* is another story.

CD

Answer 7

I think it is a different situation for everyone. I think that maybe it gives you a rush that you might not feel at home. A natural high that makes you happy for days. Some people I believe are addicts of affairs and these people happen to be married. they are really just sex addicts and were like that maybe before they got married.

Answer 8

I don't think that it's an addiction; however, I think they get a thrill of not getting caught or the thrill of having what they can't really have. Depends on the person...some people are so into the thrill that I don't think they have any remorse, because they have the person at the moment.

Answer 9

Affairs are a sign that the cheater does not respect their spouse. Once a cheater starts cheating their lack of respect for their partner increases and they do not see their actions as wrong.

When they get caught, they act like they care but it is not real. Their care fades quickly and they see not be dumped as acceptance of their affairs. They then continue to cheat.

That is why the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is a fact. Usually cheating men see their partners as property rather than as equals. Cheating women usually see their partners as income with a cost. The cost being the income producer.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 10

I have to say in my opinion, I have been the cheater and the cheaty so to speak. I was young for both and I have to say that when I was the cheater, I was in an unhappy relationship with my boyfriend and didnt know how to get out of it, I thought that if I cheated, he would get mad and dump me...he did. But I do have huge regret for the way that I hurt him, I should have been more mature about it. I also got involved with a married man, who had told me that he was going through a divorce and things heated up between us. About 6 months later I found out that there was no divorce and he was happily living with his wife and children! The strange thing was, his wife was never really upset with me...according to her I was so not the first....BIG regret there...I should have never trusted him.