this is my 2nd marriage and she has 4 kids. she thinks Im not getting along with them and she has fallen out of love with me.Married only for 4 years. Of couse mony problems, not enough $$. Regular marriage problems. She does not want to continue or repair the marriage.l love her with all my heart. she wont talk to me, i send her messages she wont respond. She just gave up on us.
2007-04-16 04:22:34 · 16 answers · asked by eltejanohouston 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on and don't look back. She doesn't want to work on it, so there isn't anything you can do to fix it. Fact is you picked the wrong woman, forget her and find the right one.
2007-04-16 04:27:51 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you are in this situation and I feel for you. However, you can't make her stay if she doesn't want to. Parents with children from previous marriages / relationships are very protective of them. Often times new spouses treat step-children indifferently or unfairly because they view them as an intrusion on their relationship with the new spouse. Not saying this is you but obviously your wife has a perception of this and to her, the children will always come first. My advice would be to sit with her and ask her to write down a list of all the things she believes to be unrepairable. Then have her make a list of things she needs in order for a marriage to be successful (you do the same). Compare lists and talk about each item and it's importance. If the only thing you get out of it is understanding, then at least it prepares you a little if you decide to remarry again.
2007-04-16 04:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to continue or repair the marriage there may be nothing you can do. When you truly love someone you want the best for them. It may hurt to let go but sometimes that's the best thing for both of you.
I was married once and when it came time to leave my husband was very hurt but eventually he realized it was necessary for me. I had to find myself. I couldn't blame him because we both are good people it just wasn't a good match. It may be that's where she is now. Maybe she just needs to move on with her life and doesn't feel it's a good match. She may be doing you a favor that you can't currently see.
It's not what you want to hear but if you love her let her go. By doing that, as much as it hurts, it will eventually be best for you both. I would encourage you to go for counseling so you can get some help in dealing with the situation. You will experience a lot of emotions and you will need some help to sort them out. Good luck to you. I know you're hurting now but things will work out for you if you let yourself go through a healing process.
2007-04-16 04:33:52 · answer #3 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this situation because I've been in this situation. I've been where she is. I can honestly tell you that for whatever reason, she's fed up and unfortunately she's made up her mind. There is nothing anyone can say or do to make her reconsider her marriage to you. I know it hurts but you should just let her be. Because the more you try to win her back, the more you'll get rejected and that'll just make you feel worse. And if she fell out of love with you there may be someone else or she never really loved you to begin with. good luck
2007-04-16 04:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by Shelly E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to be with you, there really isn't much you can do about it. I mean, what are you going to do, force her? If you care about her so much, would you want her to stay in a relationship where she's not happy?
About the only thing you could do would be to embark on a sincere, intensive campaign of self-improvement to change any flaws you might have that may have contributed to the breakup. But even that would depend on her willingness to invest the time and effort to discover if she's attracted to a new, improved you, and there's no guarantee (or obligation on her part) that she'd be willing to do that.
2007-04-16 04:38:25 · answer #5 · answered by stmichaeldet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is willing, get counseling and try to get back what you once shared together. Stress can kill the best of relationships. If she is unwlling, I am sorry, but you must move on - be sure to protect yourself though as some females out there that have children are looking for an easy weekly check - it does happen - I hope not in your case. Just be sure to protect yourself - and then take the time you'll need to put your life back together and be strong. There are many women out in the world just waiting for a really good man, but they will not even consider you if your "broken".
2007-04-16 04:32:32 · answer #6 · answered by martiek7 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is never easy to accept when your partner just stops trying. The fact is it does take both people to make a marriage work. If she will not put any effort into it then it is over. The best advice I can offer is to walk away without any more attempts to make it work. The more you beg the further is will push her away. People generally want what they can not have. Make yourself less available and she may reconsider at some point. Good Luck.
2007-04-16 04:35:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Marriage takes 2 people, working together. If she is no longer willing to work with you to save the marriage, there is nothing that you can do on your own...it's done.
A marriage is a relationship, not a hostage situation...let it go.
2007-04-16 04:40:18 · answer #8 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love her let her know that and also try suggesting that you guys get marriage counseling that should probably help.. If you love her do not let her go without a fight.. Good Luck to you both!!!
2007-04-16 04:38:45 · answer #9 · answered by Vicky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe you should give her some space, let her think, if your sending messages all the time, its just going to annoy her further. give her some time and then ask her if she would be willing to discuss the marital problems. Good luck
2007-04-16 04:33:07 · answer #10 · answered by Sun R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋