What should I do, I am the type to keep things bottled up and then I explode. Over a month ago I had gotten so aggravated with my husband due to the simple fact that he is like a third child. I have always had to ask him to do things, I am like a mother figure to him, he's not financially responsible. I am unhappy and when i told him that i was he expects he starts doing better but this is usually the cycle. ( they get better than worse again) I told him how i felt and he has totally acted as if things were normal. lately he's been going through my perse asking questions, so i asked him if he was looking for something to " pin " on me to make him feel better about me not being happy. we've not had sex in over a month and i don't want to, i own a company and we have two children that are my priorities, sex isn't. I want a break and he knows it, he just " sits" there though and still acts as if nothing is wrong. what do i do?
2007-04-16 04:13:47 · 8 answers · asked by Ashley D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should both see a marriage therapist.
2007-04-16 04:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by Your_Star 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear of your situation. In my opinion, you might start by improving yourself before you even think about asking your husband to "change". Bottling up your emotions until you explode only makes your marital problems worse. That method of communication is as childish as your husband's actions. Improve the way you send the message, and you may be surprised at how it is received. Furthermore, you are going to have to get past your anger at your husband. That will really be tough and you might not think he's worth it. But if you want your marriage to last, you will have to face and deal with your emotions and your pain. That said, you guys are still going to need to work through your issues together. So, maybe couples therapy is the way to go. You may want individual therapy as well. Because you have kids, you should give your marriage every chance at success before giving it all up. Good luck.
2007-04-16 11:27:27 · answer #2 · answered by md_51900 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you're going through. My ex husband didn't work and we lived on welfare. He didn't want me to work because he thought I would find some one else. Well, it ended up he had an affair ...I got divorced and custody of the kids and now 16 years later...my children are grown and I've worked all this time to provide for my children. Sure, it's been hard but I did it!! Go to councelling...sounds like you've been doing everything anyway, so should it come to a divorce you can raise your children and do just fine!!!
2007-04-16 11:26:19 · answer #3 · answered by stoutunicorn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wife is best mother figure in times of distress but please dont make him addictive to it as much as he forgets his role and responsibilty. Just ignoring him totally will not do any good either as he knows that you are also feeling bad about it and he will keep waiting for the day till you prefer to resolve. It is better to ward off all your reservations and talk (no discussion, or heated arguments, just reasoning) to him at length about his behaviour and its impact on your future life. Make him realise his responsibilites and encourage him to take it up one by one. Make him realise his strenghts and talents or whatsoever and provoke him to use it in the best positive way. As you already says that he always listens to you but could not hold on to changes for long. So watch out for the first sign of downfall and provoke hime again before once again it starts disturbing you. All the best.
2007-04-16 11:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by Prem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop expecting him to 'heel' like a little dog!
Divide things according to strengths and weaknesses; stop acting like his mother and he won't respond as if you are.
A man is a human being, of completely opposite emotional/functional structure. You have to learn what is a real flaw, and what is just a 'guy thing'. In the case of the latter, you don't get mad about the way God made him you work around it.
If you think you "shouldn't have to" you don't love him!
2007-04-16 11:20:24 · answer #5 · answered by Icewomanblockstheshot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Issue an ultimatium and then follow through. If he is acting like a child treat him like a child.
Tell him you don't want another child, you want a husband, a helpmate, a lover and best friend.
If that doesn't help, find time to see a counselor.
2007-04-16 11:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pack up and leave. It may be his wake up call and it may not. You can't go on like this so do something drastic so he will MAN UP. If he doesn't, start divorce proceedings.
2007-04-16 12:03:13 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you two seek help from a therapist.
2007-04-16 11:18:34 · answer #8 · answered by sugarplum 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋