My ex calls my phone at least 10 times a day leaving harrassing messages claiming anything from I am lieing to my kids ( about what I have no clue) to I am keeping him from communicating with his kids ( he talks to them at least once a day) He has also recently tried to get my boyfriend kicked out of the military by calling his commander claiming we are not divorced ( it was final over a month ago).
Not only is he driving me insane he is messing with my daughters head telling her my boyfriend is trying to replace him and that she has to choose between being happy living with us or him. That she cant have both
Is there anything I can do to stop him?
2007-04-16 02:16:57 · 11 answers · asked by Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My boyfriends career is not in jeopardy. Since my divorce was already final the ex was just trying to cause trouble.
I didnt know if filing a report would do any good since the calls are just hateful and harrasing but not life threatening. That is why I asked the question.
As far as liking the attention you have got to be kidding. All I want is peace in my life and thats what I am trying to figure out is how to get it.
2007-04-16 02:39:00 · update #1
Dino, No I did not have an affair, I left last may and did not meet my boyfriend until January but I understand why you asked that question.
2007-04-16 02:46:18 · update #2
This guy you're dating.... why doesn't he dump you and move on?
No offense, but you have way too much obvious baggage, and it makes me wonder why he is sticking around with what is going on in your life right now. Something is up with him too. Wonder what it is?
2007-04-16 02:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
Yeah, this is messy. I can understand why you've not changed your number. Since he has your kids sometimes, he's going to need to be able to contact you.
He's obviously very angry and not handling the divorce very well. I guess I have a question for you. Did you have an affair with the boyfriend you now have? If yes, then it's a little easier to undestand why he is so angry. However, that doesn't excuse what he's doing. He can't let his anger explode all over the place. If there were no kids involved this would have an easy solution, but their welfare is defintely the most important thing going on here.
That is your platform. You have to meet with your ex (in a public place!) and discuss how to handle this. Tell him that you're sorry that he's not handling all this very well, but that he needs to be more concerned about his children than himself at this point. The marriage is over and remain so, but the two of you have children together, and all of you need to learn how to peacefully coexist. Take his ideas on how this could happen, and use as many as possible. The two of you can develop a way this can work - you are adults (even though he is acting a bit childish [he's very angry and we sometimes revert to our temper tantrums, don't we?]).
Good luck, this is much more difficult than changing a number, or calling the cops. You have to figure out how to make this work. You may have to go to a few sessions with a therapist with this guy. A horrible thought I'm sure, but if it will keep the peace in the future, it just may be worth it.
2007-04-16 02:41:46 · answer #2 · answered by Dino 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The harassing phone calls can stop. First what you should do is call the police...NOT 911, let the dispatcher know what it's about and they'll send someone out. Once someone gets there, have them file a harassment report, they will also place a call to your ex to let them know you've placed the No Harassment order, and this also starts a paper trail. Now, the next thing is, to call the phone company with your police file # and ask to have your home # changed and listed as "private" they'll do this with the police report. If there's a cell phone, don't change that so he can at least talk to the kids w/o you getting involved over the phone.
Now, the No Harassment report prevents him from calling your home (even if he gets around the "private" message) or if he comes to your door. This way he's been warned, and if he shows up or anything, you call 911 and he goes to jail overnight but stays on 90day probation. This stays on his record permanently. If it gets to where he starts stalking you, file a restraining order. Let me know what happens. I've been through this, which is how I know =) Take care!!
2007-04-16 02:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call your phone company and ask them to put a trap on your phone. They will explain how it works. If the caller calls more then three times and you have recorded the dates and times of the call the phone company will send them a letter stating that they will have him arrested and go to court with him and fine him if he calls one more time after the letter. I would also suggest you get a court order for an order of protection at your city hall. You can do that on Monday and the people at city hall will help you get your order of protection that day. Do not give your phone number out to him or anyone that will give him the phone number. There may be a way to block his calls on your phone or through the phone company. Buy some pepper spray too. Good luck and please follow through these ideas and you will be amazed and some what protected. Watch your back.
2016-04-01 04:06:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple things you should do:
Keep open communication with your kids, have a policy of "complete honesty" whenever they come to you with concerns. People trust easier when they know they're getting the full truth.
Keep a record of the time, date, and nature of every phone call you recieve from him. If he says anything you think is the slightest bit negative, write it down word-for-word. This will help if you decide to go to court for a restraining order or anything.
If you have an attorney, ask him (or her) for advice. Even though the divorce is final, if you're still considered a client by the attorney, all calls from your ex should go to him, not you.
2007-04-16 02:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This probably counts as harassing behaviour. Especially if ur daughter is at risk from this. As far as i c it, sending u flowers and texts trying to get u back is not harassment, sending threatening messages is. Perhaps the threat of calling the police will be enough to scare him and put him off - or telling him firmly no, do not do this to our daughter - as its ur daughter thats at stake here. If that doesnt work, consider getting advice from the police / online etc if it escalates and carries on.
2007-04-16 02:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Report him to the police and make sure not to delete the messages he leaves for you coz they'll come in handy as evidence. Don't let him get away with it otherwise he could get violent in the future.
2007-04-16 02:22:53 · answer #7 · answered by su 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, call the phone company and reprt him, call the police and file a report. The fact that you haven't done this leads me to believe your enjoying the attention, so I wonder whay your boyfriend is still with you since allowing this to go on is jeopordizing his military career.
2007-04-16 02:32:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Contact your District Attorney and then get a restraining order against him .He sounds very unstable like my ex wife .
You may want to get a private - Unlisted telephone number also .
2007-04-16 02:31:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
CALL THE COPS!! This man is a predator, and you don't need to stand for this any longer. Report him so you can live in peace!
2007-04-16 02:24:25 · answer #10 · answered by Lorraine Way 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you can call the phone company and let them know that you are getting harassing phone calls and I do believe they can help.
You can also get a lawyer who can help you...if you don't have the money, most cities have legal aid...just call the courthouse.
be cool...
2007-04-16 02:22:29 · answer #11 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋