My hubby and I decided to go out and just be together, next thing I know I was in bed with two men (including the hubby) and before people start throwing things at me (pls understand the whole situation) I was actually enjoying everything. MY husband enjoyed watching me also and after what happend his sex drive doubled. His not bi but it was like a fantasy of him to see me with another guy. Does that mean we are officially a swinging couple? I'm not really open to the idea but I just dont know what the heck happened.
2007-04-16 01:44:52 · 34 answers · asked by stilettofan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Threesomes are ok as long as both you and your husband agree.
Keep in mind even if both agree it can cause problems. He enjoys watching but feels you enjoyed being with the other guy more, you moaned louder, you allowed other man to do things that you don't like your husband to do etc.
Sounds like this wasn't something that you mutually agreed to in advance, it just happened. If you both enjoyed it and want to try again, go for it.
But if you aren't comfortable with it you need to tell your spouse and don't get into that situation again.
It can be a very big turn on for both of you if handled correctly and ground rules set in advance. Also keep a tight reign on how often this happens, if probably shouldn't be a weekly thing or take the place of your sex life together.
2007-04-16 02:51:18 · answer #1 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In some cultures the wife has many husbands, in others the husband has many wives. In the Early Roman days s_x was shared and for all. Our customs have put a legal action on the subject and religion have made us wonder if God would approve or not, thing is no one really knows what his/her thoughts would be on the matter but love and loving all and free love for all sounds nice.... Don't feel anything - enjoy the time while it lasted - it is up to you and your husband wether or not you do it again and it truely is between the two of you. Always communicate with your hubby about all subjects including this one, it will only makes your marriage stronger...
Marriage is for those who can love eachother unconditionally, for the mature, for the honest and there is no room for jealousy and communication is part of the whole, if you have these things love can withstand any obsticals and any illusions and trust is there. But both must have the will and have the desire to want a lasting relationship -you can start off by syaing o.k. this is what we'll do but if one of you lacks the giving of these things you are back to square one. Communication must also go as far as dicussing s_x with one another, if you can not be honest or tell your spouce that strange has been on your mind then problems will arise!!! If you know what I mean, if you can't talk about s_x with your spouce then who can you talk to about it with... An open mind helps as well as being best friends...
2007-04-16 02:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
That's right, it's not about the drinking, but rather the act of giving to a temptation. We are imperfect! It's human nature. Humans slip up all the time, and the more freedom/exposure one receives, the more it happens. It's the downside of having a free will and simultaneously NOT being God; by definition we have to be imperfect, and we are. But God loves us and wants us to have free will! From your question, I think what you can learn is that we are not pure and innocent in nature...we are only pure through God. *Only* through God. It's true that, like a lot of people are saying, the devil is just trying to make you feel guilty. It's very effective on people who "do everything right", you know? -- like having a perfect attendance record at school, and then you miss one day. Oh, the horror! ... Okay, small example, but it works. (And for people who play hookie all the time, there is no guilt, or they're just benumbed to it.) xD Anda con Dios. When you slip up, remember that it is good to go to God and ask forgiveness. God already knows what you will do/have done/are doing. God will forgive, is forgiving, and has forgiven. ... Quite confusing, but that's how it works! :D God loves you. Use this time as a way to draw nearer to Him, in realizing that you can't be "pure" without Him!
2016-05-21 02:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is different, so I definitely can't condemn your actions, but bringing other people into the bedroom opens a big can of worms. I don't think that you are officially a swinging couple, but the fact that you have to ask means that you haven't talked it out with your husband. You both need to have some conversations to unpack what just happened and communicate about how you BOTH want your sexual relationship to proceed. If you're not on the same page about something as important as this, it could mean big trouble for your relationship.
2007-04-16 02:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by naturallymeee 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If youre guilty about it to the point you ask a question to a group of strangers on the internet I'd say you shouldnt be doing it. Since you did I would question my husbands motives as to why he likes watching another man with you. Sounds very strange and bi-curious. This type of thing will ruin a marriage fast now unless you deal with it well and dont do it again.
2007-04-16 03:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I will say that in the religious view point, it is sinful. But...we all have fantasies. I know I would love to have such an experience, even though its sinful. You just have to deal with that btw you and God. I think you should talk to your husband about whether this is something you two want to continue to do. Did it boost your sex life? I mean between the two of you? Did he know this guy?
Don't be uncomfortable. If it has helped your sex life, but yuo two decide not to allow it happen again, then consider it what the doctor ordered to spice up the bedroom.
2007-04-16 02:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by ladie_eclipse 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, one threesome does not make you a swinging couple. If you and your hubby were both as turned on by this as you are saying, in my opinion you should consider exploring things like this further. Be open to things and realize there are MANY people out there that swing, and play sexually in threesomes and while maybe not widely accepted in general society, there is still a great community of people out there enjoying such activities.
2007-04-16 01:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by polarbearmom_2000 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
A fantasy come true.............I have the same fantasy, never acted on it, and my hubby won't go along with it. like you said it was a fantasy fulfilled, but if you don't want to ruin your marriage, don't allow it to happen again. A friend of ours tried the same thing, one problem, she ended up liking the other partner better,and now they are getting a divorce.not to mention all the STD's that you can catch.
2007-04-16 01:54:14 · answer #8 · answered by K F 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm confused about how you don't know what happened. You were present, right?
Apparently, your body disagrees when your mind says, "I'm not really open to the idea." You liked it, your husband liked it, and I'm sure the other guy liked it too. Relax, go with it, and have fun. Remember, though, to maintain the right to say no at any time. Being an "official" swinger still doesn't mean you must do anything you choose not to do!
2007-04-16 01:50:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You s!*t! No, seriously....
It sounds like you were drinking, had too much, got horny and had a great time! You'd have to do it more than once to become a swinger. Although you had a good time, I wouldn't make it a habit (could destroy marriage in the end).
Get some porn if the feeling hits you again.
2007-04-16 01:54:35 · answer #10 · answered by Tweety 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋