I'm 20 yrs old and i used to be a size 10 or 8 in clothes now im size 12 well squeezing into a size 12 ...i hate it!! i look like im pregnant bloated belly hanging and muffin tops!! my boyfriend showed me a picture on his phone of when i was skinner and said i looked better now!! i really wanna be the way i was before but worried my boyfriend will go off of me :( we've been together 3 years and its only this year ive started putting on weight. should i stay like this to make him happy or should i do what makes me feel happy and deal with him falling out of love with me?
2007-04-15 23:41:29 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honey do what makes you feel better. If he loves you he shouldn't care what you decisions are. It is yor body. And there is more to you than your body why would he spend 3 years with you? If a man was in lust with your body it would be a short relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years I am a size 22 I use to be a size 30 which is very large....My boyfriend loves Big Women. Well I was diagnosed with diabetes and I have to loose weight I have lost almost 100 pounds and 4 sizes. I am still a big girl but not for long I am struggling to save my own life. He fell in love with me for me, not for what I look like. Granted we all have to be attracted in some way to love someone. You have a mind and a personality remember You are what is most important and if it would make you happy to loose weight do it if he loves you he should love what makes you happy.
2007-04-15 23:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by kekihigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, when I met my boyfriend i was an 8/10, now i'm a 14. I feel fat and when I look at photos I think I look quite unhealthy, but when I say I want to lose weight I never motivate myself.
Both me and my boyfriend have put on weight since we first met, it's comfort fat and it's because you're comfortable with each other. I haven't been motivated to lose weight because my boyfriend also tells me he's happy with me and that's fine with me. Your boyfriend will be happy with you whatever you do, as long as you're not extreme about it (throwing up after meals or starving yourself), but if he's been with you for a long period of time, did you ever think that maybe he's in love with you as a person and not your weight? At the end of the day it's your decision to lose weight or not, if you're uncomfortable with it, then lose the weight, your boyfriend should support you no matter what but don't lose weight the wrong way.
(CURVES RULE!)
Hope this helped! Good luck!
2007-04-16 03:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by natashamarks6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has said he likes you as you are now but if he loves you then it will not matter to him if you do something about the weight! Let him know you are not happy with your body the way it is and you want to lose some weight to boost your self esteem. Is he maybe worried you will find someone else if you go back to a size 8-10? Reassure him that you want to be with him but would be happier if you were that size again!
2007-04-16 00:59:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really feel uncomfortable with the way you look, then work on losing some weight. But as someone else said, do it for yourself NOT him. Also your still young, so losing weight will be easier. I'm going on 36 and I can tell you from experience losing weight when you are older is much tougher then when your in your 20's.
It sounds like your bf is trying to be supportive, but didn't want to offend you. Do what makes you happy. If you think you need to lose weight then do it. In the long run, you'll feel better too.
2007-04-15 23:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey sweets,
you should be the person that makes you happy. No matter what you do, there's just no guarantee that they'll stay in love with you.
It's great that he's into you, but it's not cool if you are not happy with yourself. It's a fact, if you are not happy within yourself, it will only spill over into your relationship. It's sad that we live in an age when being a certain size is the yardstick for the value of a person. If you are not satisfied with your appearance, then take active steps to deal with it, but don't ever change yourself to fit someone else's ideal, be it friend, lover or family. You have to live with yourself, whether you are single or involved.
Ultimately the self-confidence you exude is what makes you attractive, is what gives you that charisma. I've had boyfriends tell that they preferred me skinnier, I've had boyfriends tell they preferred me 'fuller' - where are they today???
I prefer myself happy.
:-)
2007-04-16 00:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by Snake Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly this is about you being happy with how you look. if you are going to do anything, let it be for yourself.. Kinda hard for others to love you, if you don't love yourself right? Maybe your boyfriend thought you were too skinny before, and doesn't want you to end up like you were before? Still i don't think he has the right to tell you to stay how you are, especially since you're so unhappy! How about you compromise? Loose a few pounds and go to the gym to tone up?Honestly you don't sound like your over-weight to me. Sometimes someone could be a size 10, but something like their hips, bum could get in the way of fitting into them comfortably. Everyone is shaped differently. Guys generally prefer curvy women too! Good luck!
2007-04-16 00:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
politely tell your boyfriend that because of the way they make you feel you will no longer have anything to do with them. i'm in a similar situation where my boyfriend's mum stabbed me in the back and bitched about me to people and told them things i'd told them in confidence and his step-dad has actually threatened me but they hate each other anyway. so now i don't go there at all and i won't let her come here, she's tried to give me xmas/birthday presents which i've given back (via my boyfriend) they should not make you feel like that and obviously you're boyfriend has noticed this and is a very decent guy by the sounds of it for sticking up for you. don't feel guilty. he obviously loves you for who you are so don't try to change just because his parents are horrible
2016-05-21 02:16:02 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Despite all this size 0 nonsense and models whose necks I could break by flicking their chin, real men (ie the blokes down the pub) like their women with some meat on them.
I don't believe that your bf will stop loving you if you lose weight. You were a smaller size when you met and he fell in love with you then.
I wouldn't beat myself up. A size 12 is normal (unless you're 4'2"!) and you probably look perfectly healthy and okay.
2007-04-15 23:46:21 · answer #8 · answered by DMsView 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like your bf likes a little junk in the trunk. Nothing wrong with that at all. Just exercise and continue to eat the way your eating now or even more. Exercise will build muscle but at the same time you won't lose all the weight you've gained because your eating the same way. You'll also eliminate that fat that is making you feel like crap. This way, you feel good about yourself, and your boyfriend still gets his jollies from the junk in the trunk.
2007-04-16 00:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by tigerpower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The person you need to make happy is you. If you do not like something and you want to change than go for it. And if your boyfriend loves you he will stand by and support your decision that's what people do when they love someone. And besides while wanting to change tell yourself each and everyday you are beautiful and you are doing this to feel healthier and happier. Do not let him decide what makes you happy. Besides it is not healthy to keep unhealthy weight on and tell him that. I think you need to live for you and no one else and if he cannot respect that then maybe he is not for you. Good luck and be strong and healthy and happier for you!!!
2007-04-16 01:26:44 · answer #10 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋