Long story. Thanks for reading in advance....
I met and married a wonderful girl in the mid 90s and had 2 wonderful kids... At the time we hung about with this couple and did lots together... Had great fun for years. But then things changed and me and the 'lady' of the couple got close and had a brief affair. This killed our marriage and we split. The affair didnt last much longer and life returned to some form of normality.
Fast forward 2 years later and the ex-wife and I get back together and she and I marry again. Then I get a text from the 'lady'. She says that she has never forgotten me and and that she would like us to be in contact again. She is adamant that 'friends' is all she wants as she missed the challange our good friendship gave her. Since I missed that too I agreed it would be ok (keeping it a secret, of course) and we have been in contact since. Problem is its not 'just friends' any more. Its affair again. So what do I do?
2007-04-15 23:08:35 · 41 answers · asked by Born_Stupid 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
get a life and decide once and for all which of these women u wanna be with, u cant have ur cake n eat it too.
2007-04-15 23:12:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
History has repeated itself......While I was reading your question I had a funny feeling you'd say that you rekindled the affair. Just try and think back of the consequences resulting from your first affair and relive the agony of that. Ask yourself do you really want to go through that again?
Obviously, what's done is done and you can't take it back. Give this other woman the flick once and for all. Might pay to work out why you cheated in the first place and why the same thing has happened all again. Even though cheating is a terrible thing to do, it does happen for a reason. Best you find out what the reasons are, fix them, and don't do it again.
2007-04-15 23:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by Vanessa 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know where this will end as its happened before and still your continuing. To do it once is unforgivable but somehow love conquered and your wife took you back and now you are seriously disrespecting her by doing it again.
I seriously doubt this other 'lady' (and I use the term loosely) even likes you that much, she is enjoying the feeling of snatching you away from your wife for a SECOND time. This boosts her confidence and makes her feel great - she is using both of you! If she liked you that much why wasn't she in touch when you were single? Why has she waited until you and your wife are giving it another go? She is a wicked witch, exploiting the fact you are a weak man who thinks with his dick.
You need to leave your wife, you have embarrassed her once, don't hurt her again.
Your disgusting.
2007-04-16 00:26:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I first of believe that this lady that you are having the affair with AGAIN had no intention whatsoever of being "just friends"! She fully intended for you both to hook up again.
I feel sorry for your poor wife because to be cheated on once is bad enough but Twice is just plain stupid, dangerous and thoughtless.
You need to ask yourself WHO you want to be with....the tart you are having the affair with or stay with your wife. If you stay with your wife then you need to break ALL contact with this mistress once and for all and for good.
WHY the hell are you asking us? You need to decide this for yourself.
I am afraid I have little sympathy for you because this is all your fault. You should not have started an affair anyway. Obviously marriage vows even a second time round meant nothing did they?
2007-04-16 00:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, how old are you?
You're married - if you didn't love her, you shouldn't have married her.
All this other chick wants is a bit of excitement on the side - get rid of her, she's bad news for you.
What the hell are you gonna do if you get number 2 pregnant? Did that enter your mind?
Cheating is extremely un-manly.
You've done it to your family once - don't make them go through this crap again. Keep away from woman number two.
Delete her number - maybe you should get a new number.
I'm pretty sure you're old enough to know what to do.
If you're going to keep doing it, your wife deserves a better husband.
I wouldn't suggest breaking her heart again - she may never open up and be happy.
Suck it up, be a man and get rid of the scrag on the side.
(I'm in a long distance relationship - I'm in Australia, he's in America, I haven't seen him for 17months - and wont for at least another 6 months - and we can still keep our pants on. You have your wife right infront of you everyday - to me, you're a lucky man to have that. Don't destroy it just because this other chick only wants you when you're taken. She probably hates your wife and is determined to see her unhappy. Don't ever see her again - don't even meet up with her to tell her that you don't want to see her again, cut off all contact, get a restraining order, change your numbers, tell her you've moved to the other side of the planet)
The "other woman" is NEVER the right woman!!!!!
2007-04-15 23:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by Felicia B 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Sadly you have proven that old adage "Once a cheater always a cheater". Why the hell did you get back with your wife? What gives you the right to hurt her and your kids all over again? What part of the body do you do your thinking with?
You knew when she first text you what was the right thing to do - to say no thank-you - but you CHOSE to go for it yet again. You are like an alcoholic who says one drink won't hurt, but ends up getting drunk every single time.
What to do? End the affair. Confess to the Wife. GROW UP!!!!!!
2007-04-15 23:19:21 · answer #6 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop the affair now, its gonna be a reply of events otherwise, do you really want to go through all that again , or put your wife and kids through all that pain and hurt again.
Please think, you obviously love your wife as you got back together this other woman is just lust, or it would have lasted the first time.
I really hope you can work things out, good luck. xxx
2007-04-15 23:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by ☆♥ Tinkz Baby! ♥☆ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is like the bad ebola disease in Africa,attacks when all is calm kills so many innocent people ,costs alot of money to avart even the best doctors catch it in the process,just after the people are returning to work it snicks back in,BEWARE its back to kill,that lady is selfish she doesnt love you all she wants is SEX and to break u up again,seeing u happy spoils her evil moods,put ur self in your wife's shoes ,how do you feel,if you were my father after this i never would consider you as one, you would be the biggest mistake that ever happened to me!!!!! because you deal with slats,sorry am harsh but i bet your marriage will be on the rocks soon. BE A MAN
2007-04-15 23:38:42 · answer #8 · answered by sam 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel for this ex-wife/wife/ex-ex wife/wife to be/ex-wife to be/ex-ex-ex-wfie to be.
If she is as confused as I am, its not good. I'm sure she's 10 times more confused. I'm sorry to say your being selfish, and your not thinking about her needs as much as your own.
This woman took away her husband. Of course it takes 2 to tango. Even worse her husband wanted to be taken away. You broke her heart once, and she was crazy to forgive you. That must show how much of a great person she is and how much she loves you. I'd bet on her being 10 times nicer than this other woman.
Anyhow, you have to have one or another. Not both. You going behind her back was totally un-necesary, a relationship can't go from strength to strength without trust. You have to decide on one option and stick with it.
Don't hurt your wife. She's been through enough.
2007-04-16 00:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by Sahra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who do you REALLY love??? Think about why you ended up with neither of them first...Then if you were lucky enough to get your wife back for a second time......You wont be so lucky next time.What is most important to you? History seems to be repeating again so if you really value your family ditch the "lady".You are damned lucky your wife returned to you so stop stuffing her around and make your mind up! You are not only hurting her,its also your kids that will suffer again when daddy goes with THAT woman again. Or is it just too easy to repeat the same mistake twice?? If its neither of them you really want,then leave them both alone.Remember though, that treasure what you have and not what you dont have.You cant have them both...... Good luck with your dilema,and good work for realizing there is a problem,i dont envy your decision
but you WILL make the right choice!!!!!
2007-04-15 23:24:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
You have to leave you wife for good, it's not fair on her she trusted you enough to take you back and give it another go on the grounds of trust and you have thrown it back in her face, you knew what you were doing was wrong by just becoming friends with the other woman as you had to keep it a secret.
Be fair on your wife let her find real/true happiness with someone who will truly love her and no one else
2007-04-15 23:31:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋