are there any incorrect expressions?

Question

-if there are any incorrect expressions, plz will you help me correcting?

I am strongly interested in marketing field. For that reason, I attended some marketing class in school and I am going to attend marketing school in May, and 3 years ago I worked surveying consumer satisfaction at Jin Ro as a part time job. Since I’m so interested in marketing field, my idol is Howard Schultz, who is a CEO at the STAR BUCKS. I highly appreciate his marketing strategy since he could success in the world market by the means of a senses marketing strategy. My dream is to be a marketing manager, and I have been trying to be a marketing manager gradually.

racist expressions? what are you talking about?

Answer 1

I am rather uncertain whether 'STAR BUCKS' should be one word or two, and whether it should be in capitals. I have therefore left it unchanged.

I have a strong interest in the marketing field. As a result, I attended Marketing classes in school, and am going to attend Marketing School in May. Three years ago, I had a part time job at Jin Ro, where I carried out a Consumer Satisfaction survey. As I am so interested in marketing, my idol is Howard Schultz, who is a CEO at STAR BUCKS. I highly appreciate his marketing strategy, as it led him to success in the world market. My dream is to be a Marketing Manager, and I am trying to achieve this goal gradually.

Answer 2

Your paragraph is about marketing and I cant see why the previous two responses from mctd and Peggy S talk about something else, unless somehow they got the wrong paragraph for answering. Here are a few thoughts.
1. Omit 'For that reason.'
2. I have attended some marketing classes in school and intend joining a Marketing School in May 2007.
3. Three years ago, I did a survey on consumer satisfaction at Jin Ro, as a part-time job.
4. Omit 'Since I.m so interested in marketing field'.
5. My idol in the marketing field is ......
6. Replace 'success' by 'succeed'.
7. 'senses' or 'sensible'? ( OR 'creative' or some other word?)
8. I am working steadily to achieve my dream of becoming a Marketing Manager in course of time.

Answer 3

Just be careful to not use racist remarks. Many people come from different cultures. Certain approaches are not advised. It would be to your benefit to study a little about the people that you will be dealing with. In other words, if you have an appointment with someone that is from a different culture you should brush up on their culture. For instance don't invite someone from the Indian culture to eat meat at your home. The believe that the cow is sacred. Jewish people do not usually eat pork, etc.....

Never use colloquialisms (Local terms or sayings). Not all people with take the saying correctly and may be offended.

Answer 4

Incorrect expression such as the seemingly insensible "to let the cat out of the bag," or logistically incorrect, such as, "if you love someone, they will love you back"?