We had a BBQ and didn't ask one of our neighbours!?

Question

At the weekend we had a bbq for the kids, eveyone who came brought something for it. The day before one of my daughter's friends who had been intivted came in and said her dad ask if he could come. This man is a bit of a know it all and isn't liked by may people, and one of our close friends really hates him. We didn't really want him to come so we told him it was for the kids only but then he spied on us and his wife came around the bak of our house and called as names in front of all our friends, also shouted at our 10 year old daughter(who is the friend of her daughter). After that they daughter and all her friends kept coming around where we live and being really nasty to our daughter and making her upset. What would you do? They are not the kind people you can talk to. Do you think I was wrong not to say they could come. The other thing is they are ponces and wouldn't of brought anything with them like everyone else.

It wasn't a block party and it did start as a party for the kids to welcome a little disabled 3 year old boy of a neighbour, and this is the man who hates our neighbour. We are also the godparents of this little boy so that is why it was at our house. We can't tell the neighbour that this man doesn't like him as that would open up a whole new can of worms. I personal don't can if we never talk to these people again, its my daughter I care about, as she is able to leave the house most of the time because of their daughter and her friends.

Answer 1

Personally you did what you did...I think that even though it was YOUR thing...that you wanted to do...it was a bit inconsiderate to exclude him from this "block party" that you all had! I understand how you feel, but, you have a dillema...either you deal with this head on...or you leave it be...and just invite them,and be nice about it!

Answer 2

I think you were completely right not to invite them along. Anyone who shouts abuse at a 10 year old girl is an absolute waste of air!!! What kind of weirdo spies on a neighbour's BBQ anyway?! They're trying to get to you by intimidating your daughter, which is a pretty cheap shot if you ask me... Do you know any of the parents of the other girls that are starting to be nasty to your daughter in this group? Maybe you could try and talk to them rather this horrible couple. By shouting at you in front of all of your friends, they've shown themselves up massively. I feel for your daughter, but I think this may be a situation where it just dies down eventually - kids don't hold grudges for very long and I'm sure the parents will find someone else to be horrible to pretty soon.....

Answer 3

JUst keep a dignified silence, they'll soon tire of it. This was aparty in your home and no matter what the partyn was for, it's your choice who comes into your home. It was very rude for the man to ask the girl if he could come in the first place! Don't get into an arguement over the kids. Keep your daughter away from them and although it doesn't seem like it now, they will tire of that behaviour. If all the adults end up arguing, the kids will be friends in a few weeks again, and the adults will still be warring. I've seen it happen in my street. Now the kids are suffering because they want to see each other and the adults won't allow it!

Answer 4

I think you have the right to invite who you want... but although their reaction was childish, you obviously hurt these people's feelings. Also it must have been pretty hard for their little daughter wondering why you don't like her mummy and daddy. If you invited everyone else in the neighbourhood then it does seem a bit harsh not to invite them. In terms of bringing stuff you could have just said everyone is bringing something so could you bring sausages or whatever. It all seems a bit childish. Presumably this was one day out of your life and would not have meant you had to be best friends with these people. You could have been the bigger, kinder person and invited them or at least not lied to their daughter about who was coming. It's their daughter I feel most sorry for.

Answer 5

hmm this is a difficult one as you want to keep in with your friends and also your neighbours - keeping the peace is difficult. You have to speak to your neighbour about this and try to make the peace otherwise this will fester and get worse. I'd go round to them and say that the BBQ started off as a kids' event but then a few other people turned up at very short notice, etc. - see if you can bluff it out. Say that it wasn't an organised do, just an informal get-together for (mostly) kids and apologise if they felt left out. Now the rest is up to you - you could say that you were planning to have a get-together for people in the street to get to know each other (do you have a Neighbourhood Watch scheme? If not, start one and use the BBQ as an excuse to bring together people) - say that you were going to have a bigger one for the adults later this summer and they were top of your list.
I know there's people who will reply that you can invite whom you want, etc., but in the real world you have to keep peace with people and your neighbours were clearly feeling rebuffed. Saying that, however, there is no excuse for shouting and bad language and you should endeavour to get your neighbours to admit that they over-reacted.
If they still don't want to make the peace then I would terminate the conversation and say that it's a pity that they don't want to make up, as you have plenty more social events planned for the summer and you would have loved to have them there, so it's their loss.
By the way, from experience I know that if people don't get on (like your friend hates this neighbour) then it's THEIR problem, not yours. It's your friend's responsibility to handle this neighbour, not yours, and you shouldn't be trying to juggle who likes whom. You're not the diplomatic corps or the united nations - they're all adults. Just have your party and let everyone mingle and if they don't like each other, well they just have to avoid each other.
Good luck, try to make the peace now. Least said, soonest mended. And you do have to live next door to each other!

Answer 6

You have made the first step by excluding these neighbours, now you must drag your daughter away from them, at the moment they will make her life hell, and you know how seriously children take that to heart. She will feel terrible and will need your total support. Good luck to you, you did the right thing but watch your daughter is not too upset by it all.

Answer 7

Hi,
No i dont think you did the wrong thing, it was your BBQ and you had the right to invite who you wanted to invite, your neighbours sound very childish to me, and to shout at your young daughter was well out of order!.
As for the kids, kids are kids, they have sen their parents do it, so they think this kind of behavour is allowed. Kids can be very spiteful at times, and i bet before you know it the kids will all be friends again.

Answer 8

Invite her as quickly as to speak over a cuppa, drink despite. clarify as you have on your posting that issues would be performed yet you have had to prioritise getting the interior the homestead organised first. For the sake of being neighbourly tell her once you're you able to'll park in front of your individual homestead yet while no longer accessible given which you have paid your highway tax on your automobiles you're entitled to park on any area on a public highway. Be friendly yet company. with connection with having a BBQ it incredibly is the standard ingredient in recent times in reliable climate. do no longer make any attempt to evade having those yet tell her as a rely of politeness you will enable her understand if this is going to ensue that her husband might desire to choose directly to stay on the front of the homestead, bypass out etc. you could desire to aim your superb along with her given which you're 'the recent infants on the block' yet while this does not artwork, do no longer bypass out of your thank you to antagonise her yet you could might desire to merely no longer have touch with those neighbours. in case you recognize you're appearing in a neighbourly vogue then you definately shouldn't sense undesirable approximately something.

Answer 9

god! what a nightmare! you are entitled to invite or not invite who you wish round to your house, and it's pretty damned petty of the neighbours to behave like that, causing a scene. If they're not the type that are easy to talk to, as they don't seem to be, then all you can do really is ignore their juvenile behaviour, and get on with your lives, after all, you don't have to justify yourselves to anyone as to why they weren't invited. Tell your daughter to hold her head up, and ignore the comments, as you're all better than that, and don't get into any slanging matches, you'll be reducing yourselves to their level. good luck.

Answer 10

From the behaviour of of your neighbours it is obvious that you made the right decision to exclude them. Their daughter's behaviour is rather convenient as it will enable your daughter to also sever any contact with their family.
I hope that having been ostracised, your neighbours do not continue their very juvenile behaviour which already amounts to harassment.

Answer 11

Your not alone, i reckon everyone's got a neighbour or two like that. You weren't wrong not to invite them, afterall its your BBQ and you invite who you want.

To be honest i just ignore my annoying neighbours, and so far so good, if they have a moan they have a moan all i do is pitty them for being so pathetic.