I'm a gay man living in a small town. None of my friends and family have any idea, how do I tell them. There dosn't seem to be any other gay people in Hadleigh.
2007-04-15 20:49:47 · 24 answers · asked by Peter Woods 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
start with who ever is the one you think well except it first mom..dad.. sib or best firend and work from there up would be the easiest.... if dad is the hardest and mom is easier with mom on your side she well bring dad around easier..after you tell your dad of course
2007-04-15 20:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by cpljdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough question. Particularly for a heterosexual to answer. Here's my thoughts.
Small towns are tough on anything or anybody that's "different". Small groups tend to be insular, to draw together to protect themselves from any perceived attack. So you want to make your presentation in a non-threatening way. You might consider doing with a big "coming out" party, a sort of debutante ball. For you only. Invite family and friends, serve soft drinks, play music and make a public announcement. Tell everyone you want to share with those you love and those who you know love you in return, that you are still one of them, still the same guy you always were, it's just that you happen to like guys. Also, tell them not to worry, you're not going to compete with the local gals for the guys, your not going to attack anyone anymore than you already have...which is nobody. So let's all enjoy ourselves and have a good time. Or something like that. Just a suggestion. Good luck with this. You have my support.
2007-04-16 03:59:50 · answer #2 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello
I had a guy friend who did not come out for ages, but the think is the people around you will have a little idea that you are guy as you can't hide that away from people who love you.
I would go to the first friend or family realitve that you think would be the hardest to tell then you will have enough stength to tell the rest.
Don't worry if they are your friends and family they love you for you not for what sex you want to be with.
Don't hid your true love or you will be unhappy for the rest of your life.
It is a great thing !!! x x good luck
2007-04-16 04:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Sweetie. This is one of the hardest things. My son is gay and even though I knew deep down when he actually did tell me (on the phone, I insisted to know the truth and he told me I did not want to know it, and I said that I did want to know) it did come like a kick in the tummy. I of course said that it did not matter and that I loved him whatever, but it was and is not easy.
It is possible that you mum already suspects anyway. You will feel better when you come out to your family, but remember it is your life and what you or anybody else does in their bedroom is their matter and nobody Else's.
You need not flaunt it. It does not have to be shown off, just as straight couples do not need to flaunt their love in public the same goes for gays.
Good luck my dear heart. Keep strong and be happy with yourself and your life.
p.s. my son is the most wonderful caring and loving son a mother could ever wish for.
2007-04-16 03:52:48 · answer #4 · answered by London Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That must be very hard to deal with! Whenever I'm faced with a difficult issue I always just do the right thing!
The right thing for you is to get it of your chest! No matter what anyone else thinks your going to feel 100% better! Everything else you can deal with in your own time!
Lovetheglamour is right! Your parents probable all ready know! (mum knows everything). Your friends! We think of it as a great opportunity to find out which ones are your friends!
Once you've done it no mater what happens keep your chin up and enjoy your new found freedom!
2007-04-16 04:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by stockytommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't be ashamed of what you like. sometimes it just happens, you can't help your heart.
-u don't have to tell them. there's really no need, until you find someone that is...then warn them before you bring him home to meet the family.
if they haven't picked it up yet maybe you're not quiet sure yourself...have u been with a woman? if not try it, u myt just change ur mind.
ur family will probably b ok with it...but your guy friends honey that's a different story. just make sure you never hit on them... or look at them in any other than a friend... blokes r a bit funny with the gay side of things....suss it out first
2007-04-16 03:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy for me to say because I am not in your situation but I would just sit them down (in an environment where you all feel comfortable) , tell them that you love them and would never do anything intentional to hurt them and that you feel that you can be honest with them without them turning their backs on you.
If you give them a compliment like (I know I can trust you to be there for me through thick and thin) then they are more likely to respect your trust in them and respect your honesty.
Tell them that being Gay does not make you different to the person they already know you to be.
Be prepared to be beaten down by some but also be prepared for others to not even react after all they are your friends and family and they are that because they love you not because of who you love.
Chances are some may already be expecting it and just wondering why you haven't told them already.
Last of all I wish you so much love and I really hope it goes well.
x
2007-04-17 11:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Best Thing i can Tell you is Slowly.
Ive been coming out for about 2yrs now and half my Friend's know and my family in time but find out who your closets friend is and tell em but break it down slowly people that have not ever dealt with homosexual people tend to Freak out a bit
but just see what everyone else think before u put that in action
Good Luck Bro
2007-04-16 04:01:02 · answer #8 · answered by Justice316 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to come out if it's going to be something difficult for you to do. But, if you really feel as though it is imperative to do so, then just sit down with them one-by-one and tell them. You may be surprised that they probably already had a hint. If your friends leave you then they weren't true friends to begin with. I am sure you may receive some shocks, but you may also receive much understanding from more friends and family then you realize.
2007-04-16 04:01:07 · answer #9 · answered by gone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to do this is to do it, it will be hard and I have no doubt there will be tears and loud words but it you you owe it to yourself to be the person you are. Don't hide behind a wall of of make believe because it will only ever make you unhappy be honest be fair and expect some very stressed out responses but most of all just do it
2007-04-16 07:07:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I would just sit them all down and tell them. I am sure they will be OK about it. you are still you, it shouldn't matter if you gay or not. Why hide what you are, its The 19th century, its not like it is unacceptable, i mean gays are even getting married now, and why not.
If they do react badly, just give them time and abit of space and I'm sure they will soon come round to the idea.
good luck.
2007-04-16 04:02:51 · answer #11 · answered by nicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋