i love my husband a lot but he tells that i talk to much can anybody tell me how do i avoid talking?

Answer 1

Be quick to hear, and slow to speak.
AND
If there's a point, keep it in sight. If there's not - turn out the light... You're done.

Unfortunately, I wouldn't know whether your husband is imposing his own personal opinion on you, or if he actually has a point. You may want to consider that, before you go trying to change anything. Is he the only one who tells you this, or have others said it to you, as well?

If he's wrong - ignore him. If he's right, then just practice thinking before you speak. Also, focus more on listening to others, or encouraging THEM to speak. Mentally press down the urge to start gushing. It won't kill you, I promise. :)With practice, it will become natural. Some people talk a lot as a nervous thing. Others just like the sound of their own voice. Still others, just have a lot to say or are very social people. Its not always a bad thing, it depends on the context/scenario. Some tips/q's you may consider:

Am I talking just to avoid dead silence?
Would it hurt to keep quiet, this once?
Am I repeating myself?
Is what I'm about to say, really necessary?
Did they ask me for my 2 cents?
Is what I'm about to say, useful - or just empty speech?

Depending on the scenario, these are some things you can mentally check, to cut down on the gab. Hope this helps, hon. Take care. :)

Answer 2

It depends on how, when and why you talk. Obviously if your husband just steps in the door and your chattering away at him, he's going to be annoyed because he just wants to sit for five minutes in peace! If you chatter without thinking about what your saying because you just like to talk then that can be annoying too. If you talk to hear the sound of your own voice or if it's a nervous habit then you need to find something to replace your talking. Try an ipod or other mp3 player. Give your husband some space when he comes home from work and think about what your saying before you say it and decide wether it really needs to be said.

You're husband probably didn't mean he wants you to avoid talking altogether maybe just cut back on the things you don't need to say. Communication is the key to a sucessful relationship so cut out some of the unneccessary chit chat and try to focus on talking about important things. Like the weather. Lol. Jokes.

Answer 3

My husband says that all the time. He's not much of a talker either. It used to hurt my feelings so I'd clam up & he'd ask me what was wrong. He said anytime I shut up he knows something is wrong. LOL!

Anyway now I pick & choose the times I tell him stuff. If I know he won't be interested in what I'm about to say I find a friend or someone I know will be.

Husbands are your life partners but that doesn't mean they have to hear everything you want to say. I know I talk alot. There are even times when he'll say do I have to listen & I'll smile & say yes & go on anyway.

I'm sure he knew you were a talker before you married. If he's not much of one that's probably one of the things he liked about you. He didn't have to carry the conversations.

But sometimes too much of anything good or bad gets on your nerves if it's the wrong time. He probably just wants to vent, not change you.

So be yourself. Just be around & talk to friends more. That way you won't bug him so much for conversation. If you see he's doing something and/or concentrating don't bother him. If it's important it'll keep, if not it doesn't matter so why bother?

If you're like me probably one of the things you liked about him was he didn't try to dominant the conversation. It's weird how opposites attract but still can drive each other nuts.

Answer 4

I have the same problem, my husband thinks i talk too much and it really hurts when he tells me off, cause he can say it really rudely. Honestly at the point when im hurt im able to shut up but when things are ok again i cant keep my mouth shut although i tell myself that i'll try to talk less. It's so different how our parents and siblings accepted this about us and our life partner cant. I'm still trying hard to work on it but the more i try, the more surpressed i feel. Hope you can work on it. Wish you all the best.

Answer 5

All men think women talk too much. You have to learn to choose what you say. If you tell him about the shoes you just bought, don't go into so many details. Don't tell him that they are red with straps and a 3" heel with a gold clasp. Tell him you bought some shoes today. It helps if you have a friend you can tell all the details to first, then leave the general description for your husband.

Answer 6

I have the same problem only it's my husband that talks too much which is something I simply can't understand. I've read that it is a form of self importance..... like everything he says he feels like is more important than what anyone else might have to say at the moment. I can't tell you how to stop but I can tell you if you don't get it under control it will hinder your husbands desire to try to be "heard" by you. Eventually he will clam up because it just gets to be too much of a struggle and it gets very old. I can tell you how I keep from talking...... stop talking!!

Answer 7

Doesn't it make you mad when they say that. I use to get into trouble all the time when things that the family discussed amongst themselves were sometimes found to be the topic of converstation with some outsiders (small country town ) and it was always me that got the blame for it because I always talked to everybody. Until one day I found that it was my father - in law that was doing all the outside talking. My attitude is this, excepting for private matters concerning family, there is no harm about talking about others things in general unless you have something to hide.

Answer 8

I am assuming that you talk about the same amount as you did when he met you. If this is so, he should accept you as you are. Why is it bothering him so much now? And "talking too much" is an opinion. Someone else may think you do not talk enough. Perhaps going to a marriage counselor could benefit both of you. And, if he isn't willing to do so, maybe you aren't the problem at all -- perhaps he is.

Answer 9

I agree with the one that said start a journal. Put all your personal thoughts in there. But don't hold back telling him the important things like if you have a doctors appointment and how it went.

Listen to him as well. Ask him about his day and how it went. Then be quiet while he's answering you.

Answer 10

I wonder if you're choosing the wrong spots to talk to him? Never try to talk to us while we're doing other things. Especially "man things" like yard or car work, or watching the game. Because then you just get the pre-programmed responses of "yes", "really?", or "umm-hmm".

I feel that the times I'm most responsive and attentive to my wife are during dinner and while we're in bed. I feel that these are the best times to have meaningful conversations.