do i do to much for my man ?

Question

I work about 10 -15 hrs per week the rest of the time am it home. I have 3 kids 3yrs 19 mos and 7 mos.

my man work 40 hrs per week.

my family say I do to much for him
I do everything that has to do the home.
I take care of the kids and him I get up 2hrs before he does to make his coffee and food for the day and I lay out his clothes. I wake him with coffee in one hand and food in the other and when he gets home from work dinner is ready and after he eats I rudder his feet and etc.
the only thing he does it home is help with the kids.
I feel this is the way it should be.
I don’t have to do all this thing but I like to.
but do I do to much for him?

Answer 1

If you like doing these things for him then I don't see anything wrong with it.

Answer 2

First thing I must say - be careful allowing other people (even family) all up in the mix. That is how trouble starts, where there isn't none.

Personally, I don't mind catering to my man - but there are a few conditions. He must be worth it, know how to appreciate it, and I must not mind doing it. Then again - if he's not worth it, can't appreciate it, and I do mind it - he wouldn't be my man, in the first place. :)

So the point is this: As long as the both of you, are okay with it - who is anyone else, to dictate? That said - there is a precaution. Sometimes, you can give of yourself too much, or too readily - and before you know it, you're burnt out. That, and/or you discover that you've turned your man into a spoiled brat. What you used to do voluntarily, is now EXPECTED of you. You don't want to overindulge anyone - not a child, and not your man. Its not healthy. They will come to expect that treatment, and whine or think you crazy, if and when you don't do it. One of these days, you're going to be too tired, too busy, or just not in the mood for something. And if that happens, it should be okay (with him). If he starts sulking, complaining, or seems ruffled - then you know something. People tend to take for granted, what or who is always up under their nose. That can be done unintentionally - so beware. Not only that, but the specialness will drain out of it, because you do it all the time. Let him EARN it, now and then. He'll appreciate it much more. Believe me. Just try to aim for some balance. You can treat your man like a King, without waiting on him literally, hand and foot. Something to think about, sister-girl. :) Take care.

Answer 3

Happy Ma,
If this is what you are happy doing and he loves and respect you and is very thankful for what you are doing, then I will say to keep your family out of your business.I too is a nurturer and I love taking care of my family. I just don't have the time nor the man that is worthy of all of that care. It is a pleasure to see your family happy and taken care of. Stop telling people what goes on in your household, too much of their input, will cause you to doubt yourself and when you start to changing some of the things that you do for your family, then that will cause a problem and then the people telling you that you do too much will be standing on the outside, saying '' I told you so'' Watch opinionated people. They'll throw a monkey wrench in your program. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

Answer 4

If you enjoy it, you do not do too much! If you were feeling over-worked I would say that he can make is own food in the morning and pick out his own clothes. And after you have a long day, I would suggest that he does the dishes after dinner or something just to give you a little break. If you are happy, keep going! God Bless you and your marriage

Answer 5

NO. My mom was just like you! Dad worked full time and Mom was a campus monitor. She worked as many hours as you do. She did all the cooking and cleaning, etc. Dad watched us when he got home so Mom could have some alone time and cook dinner.

When we got old enough to be home on our own, Mom went back to work full time. Then Dad shared more chores and did dishes every other night. They took turns.

You are a good wife. Just make sure he appreciates what you do too and vice versa. Its good that he helps with the kiddies. :)

Answer 6

If you enjoy doing things for him, then it shouldn't be a problem. If he appreciates what you do for him, well and good. With your description, it seems you have an fair share of the load. He works more office hours than you while you keep and maintain the home. He also helps with the kids so that's a good thing, as well.

Answer 7

If you enjoy what you do, and you're comfortable, don't change. It's your life and your relationship, which means it's nobody else's business.

Having said that, my wife would never let me do so little. I do plenty of chores around the house, help with the kids, and I also work 40 hours a week and go to college full-time. In our relationship, that works out very well for us.

Answer 8

He is your man, and he must be treating you right for you to be doing all that for him. If, it makes you happy, relax and don't listen to people who might starting giving you wrong ideas; He is helping with the kids and that is a good thing; some never do anything at all.

Answer 9

although i don't know what "rudder" his feet means, if you enjoy doing things for him, then fine. BUT if you feel as though he needs to get off his butt and make his own coffee, tell him. with 3 kids that young, you need birth control, and some help.

Answer 10

If you're genuinely happy with it, then ask your family to mind their own business. However, take a moment to make sure that you're taking care of yourself, too, and getting quality time for your own pursuits. You need a break and the occasional massage as well!

Answer 11

You are the only one that can answer this question.As long as you are happy doing what you do for him.That's all that matters.And you should not let other people stand in your way of happiness.As long as you love him you can never do too much.Don't let people ruine what you have with your husband.People tend to get jelous because they wish that they had someone to do for them as you do for your husband.Keep doing what you do.Don't let other people come in between you and your husband.You tell them that you do too much for him because you are happy doing it.