the complications>
1.we have 2 boys already
2.most importantly,we married in church
and my religion frowns at divorce.....
2007-04-15 19:01:26 · 15 answers · asked by Riveroflove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well one thing, you cannot fight your feelings. I say that if you are truly unhappy you get out of the situation.
I understand that you have children together but the children usually suffer if one of the parents is stressed. If being separated or divorce makes you feel better and helps your life it will help your self esteem with your children.
I absolutely do not agree that you should have gotten married out of pity. And I think that is 10 times worse than getting a divorce. I understand your religion frowns upon divorce. But should it frown upon your happiness?
You can only choose what is best for you. No religion or other sort of affiliations should tell you otherwise.
2007-04-15 19:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by CHEEKS69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure your church would frown more if they knew you got married out of pity and not out of genuine love for your wife.
Get a divorce, make is as painless as possible and do what you can to keep your family together. Children coming from a divorced household are often better adjusted than children who come from unhappy marriages simply because they aren't in the middle of all the conflict and tension.
Staying in an unhappy marriage because your church frowns upon divorce is not a good enough reason to condemmn you're entire family to a life of misery. A religion or a church doesn't feel pain or emotions like people do and you are more likely to hurt yourself, your wife and your children by staying than you would by leaving.
Make your own peace with God, ask for his forgiveness then do what you have to do to give your family (including your wife) a better, happier life.
2007-04-15 19:12:54 · answer #2 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
really didn't give enough information. 1) why did you pity her? 2) how long have you been married?
My first marriage was out of pity. I pitied him because his family was so mean to him. The only time they wanted him around was to get things from him and to be mean to him (example: for Christmas they would buy him pants that they knew wouldn't fit. When he give them back to get them to exchange them for the right size they just kept the money and he got nothing.) But, if you are unhappy than she much be also. Talk to her. Let her know how unhappy you are and that you will support the kids and help her financially as much as you can until she fines a job and gets on her feet. You might be surprised in the answer at she gives you. And for your religion if you are catholic they do have annulments . Even if you have kids you can do what the church ask for; I know because my husband was catholic. I hope I have been of some help. GOOD LUCK
2007-04-15 19:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by julie.brittney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pity does not link here at all.What has pity got to do with two kids born after your marriage?You are just having an emotional breakdown .Go and sit down with your wife have a nice chat where you re feeling low on the end.Communication is the best way to find the root of a problem.
2007-04-15 19:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i still believe that marriage is not something you do because you are forced into it. nobody can force you into it.
and as you said, you felt pity for the girl. but you still did it out of your own will right? also you did it in a church. so it means there was preparation for the wedding. and you had lots of time to reconsider your decision.
you shouldn't have done it in the first place. but since it's done already, i urge you to again be a man like what you did before. stand up for your earlier decision. i also believe it is not hard to learn to love someone if you only give it a chance. plus you already have 2 kids.
2007-04-15 19:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you have sex with her out of pity? conceive 2 children out of pity?
marriage in a church is not the most important thing, it's love. why would you marry someone you didn't love, THEN have children with her? let her go and find someone who actually will love her, not just feel pity for her.
it's more wrong to stay in a marriage when you aren't happy than it is for you to get a divorce.
2007-04-15 19:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully the kids have her genes and not yours. What do you pity about her? Do her a favor and tell her your an idiot and want her to be happy, then leave her so she can build her self asteem back up, go to church and ask for forgiveness for marrying not for love but for whatever absent half witted reason you can come up with. Oh, one more thing you could do...get yourself fixed so you can't spawn. If you want sympathy I think you came to the wrong place.
2007-04-15 19:20:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry her? You didn't even love her. Well I don't think there is anything you could do about it. I mean unless you'd want to get a divorce. It would be sad for the kids. So I can just tell you to try and be happy.
2007-04-15 19:07:36 · answer #8 · answered by crazygranny72 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kids would rather come from a broken home then live in one
if youre not happy then youre not doing either of you a favour
im sure church frowns on lies too. so get out
2007-04-15 19:06:27 · answer #9 · answered by briee89 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you care about divorce?
My religion frowns on pre-martial sex and children born to un wed parents! And that never stopped you!
2007-04-15 19:07:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋