really hard for me, he keeps begging me and threating to hurt himself and so on. It is driving he crazy, I cant stand to see him hurt but I dont want to be with him. How can I make things easier for the both of us?
2007-04-15 18:59:41 · 25 answers · asked by flirtz1984 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off if you think about staying with him get marital counseling. He is hurting you and driving you crazy. don't give up your happiness in life to spare his feeling.........look at what he's doing to you. He is controlling you by saying he will hurt himself. Well, if he does that would be his choice. He is making you feel responsible, and guilty to keep you right where you are. You are miserable with him and he knows it. Most people who openly claim of harming themselves never do it anyway. They are very quiet about it and they get the job done. He is very manipulative and he knows it works for him. Do something different because the way you are doing it now isn't working!!! Trust me he will be fine.Do not stay with him out of fear life is to short.Don't allow yourself to become emotionaly and accept things to make him feel better. This is his problem and he needs to work on his own issues. Read up on co-dependency. It doesn't appear to be true love that he has for you, and many people are in addictive relationships. Take some time and space from him and search for your real feelings if you have to. Honestly there is no easy way to end a relationship. Especially when the other half wants to stay in it. You will have to strong and think of yourself because he won't!!! Best Wishes ALWAYS.
2007-04-15 19:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your problem only started occurring six months ago in the scope of a six year partnership, don't you think counseling would be a better route? You are giving up rather quickly for what seems to have been a relatively short term discontent. Is there something going on that you are not revealing? Your fourteen year old is at the age where a divorce would have a significant impact on him or her. The six year old would clearly suffer greatly. If there is no additional information you have left out, such as infidelity and additional people involved, I would recommend you go to a counselor to uncover what might be the problem and a viable solution. If you are determined to leave, telling him you do not love him is unnecessarily painful. Just explain that you feel co-existence is not fulfilling what you want from a partnership and you feel it is time to part ways while remaining equally involved as parents.
2016-05-21 01:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by lara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the situation has escalated to the point it's at now and you have to leave then wait no longer and just get it done as quickly as possible ,,,,A sharp knife cuts the quickest and hurts the least ,,,, Don't loiter or wait around and most of all quit listening to his threats of self harm ,,,, You have to figure that if he does hurt himself in some way then that's better than you staying with him and you hurting ,,,, The marriage is over ,,,, Stop pretending ,,,, You need to focus yourself on you now ,,,, Consider what's good for you ,,,, You can't be any good for anyone else unless or until you are good for yourself first ,,,,
He's playing on your sympathy and toying with your emotions ,,,, Don't let him do this to you ,,,, He's making you look foolish and he doesn't' seem to care ,,,,
It's time to turn the page in your book of life and start a new chapter ,,,, There are allot of fish in the pond so to speak ,,,, You need to go fishing ,,,, Find some one that's fun and exciting to be with ,,,, There's some one out there waiting for you ,,,, All you need to do is spot him and then let him discover you ,,,, Probably more times than not they will come trouble and problem free and aren't into harming themselves or threatening to do so ,,,,
If his threats of harming himself is keeping you there then it's not because your love him now ,,,, He's playing on your sympathy ,,,, Where's that going to get you except right back with him with you still hating you situation even more ,,,,
You have to start considering what's best for you ,,,, Get that done and then just act on it ,,,,
Yoda said so ,,,,
2007-04-15 19:53:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are just empty threats to gain your attention and your pity. I've seen these too many times. He may or may not carry it out (I don't know your man) but if he has hurt you so many times, I can understand that your love for him is dead. You don't want to see him hurt bcos you don't want to have to bear the guilt, which is what he's trying to make you.
Leave and don't turn back. Make it a clean cut if no children are involved. That's easiest on all parties. It will hurt like hell initially, but just hold back. Time will heal. You deserve someone who treats you with respect.
2007-04-15 19:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by Sara D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The most important thing in this situation is communication.If you have tried in many ways to make it work out and it hasn't you have to move on.And when he says he will hurt himself don't believe him only the ones who stay quit are the ones who end up doing something not the ones who let you know what they are going to do next.
2007-04-15 19:07:10 · answer #5 · answered by florecitarivera 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him to go ahead and hurt himself. Tell him tha it will save you money for the divorce. I know that sounds cruel, but he is playing you. He is not going to kill himself. If he really wanted to do it, he would not be threatening, he would take action. I hate when people play those games. Tell him to get a life!!! He hurt you, and now he is trying to manipulate you. Too bad, he made his bed--now let him suffer the consequences!!! He should have thought of that when you were the one being hurt!!!
2007-04-15 19:04:54 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to think of yourself now, Maybe your husband is doing this because he knows that you will not leave him, don't let him trick you this time. Problem gets worst before it gets better. Most men think that their wife will stay with them if they use some kind of guilt trip. If your husband says that he will hurt himself if you leave, it's a sign that he does not want to be alone. Don't let him, do this for yourself, and I don't think that he will hurt himself. Be strong and tough,you don't deserve this from him...
2007-04-16 01:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you have already made a decision then no one can stop you. Try to get support from family and friends, they might be able to help you. If your husband wants to hurt himself then let him do it, if he tries attempting suicide call the police and they will make sure he gets the help he needs.
2007-04-15 22:08:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
threatening to hurt himself is a form of abuse and control. you can make it easier by taking the control away from him. just get your things together and go. do your best not to feed into his crap by staying calm an collected, there is no fight, no arguement, no yelling, no matter what. whatever he says or does you stay calm, and just tell him your leaving him and then don't procrastinate just do it and dont look back.
2007-04-15 19:07:25 · answer #9 · answered by bigdee_x 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's a big boy, let him take care of himself. You look after you. I had a guy tell me he was going to kill himself if I didn't marry him...worse mistake I could have made, married him and it made him happy and my life was down the tubes but he didn't care. That is something you might want to remember. Best Wishes
2007-04-15 19:04:53 · answer #10 · answered by clbinmo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋