2007-04-15 17:41:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A child support issue should not matter if you love him. I can tell you honestly that my husband's child support issues did not cross my mind until after we were married, but even then did not matter except for how we budget the money.
Are you sure you aren't just looking for excuses to get out of it? I am not trying to sound mean, just realistic.
If you are worried about the child support being decided on your money as well, don't be. In no state does child support take the spouse's income into the picture as you are not the parent.
Good Luck!
2007-04-15 17:48:44 · answer #1 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some people might be misunderstanding the question. The important question is what are you worried about?
One possibility that maybe everyone has overlooked is that she's worried about marrying him now because it might affect the judge's decision as to where the child would go. His ex-wife could argue that the woman is married to now is not good for her son. Of course if she has a lawyer and a detective and can dig up dirt on you then that might put the ex in a better position to win child custody.
If that's not the issue and you have no background that would cause a problem.... then you just have to the side if he wins are you willing to be a stepmom. And if he loses... it will still have visitation rights.... and technically he'll still be a stepmom but your stepchild will not live with you... maybe only every other week.
In either case you should both go see his lawyer. You should discuss how getting married now might affect any advantage they have in the case. Also keep in mind your man will go through a lot of grief and you have to be able to support that.
If you have a follow-up question or one that's a bit more personal and you want to send privately you can e-mail me directly by clicking on my picture and then click on my e-mail link through Yahoo answers in my profile
Advice Man
2007-04-15 20:08:36 · answer #2 · answered by AdviceManHere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not the kids fault nor to blame. I am going through a divorce now. One of the issue are my soon to be x-wife has been holding our child and I have not seen her in a month which she is now 19 months old. As of tomorrow I will have joint parent rights untill we can have a child support hearing June 19. It is very difficult to go through this process but if you love hime support him in this case. I was never a parent untill my daughter came and I know my daughter comes first over anybody. I am sure he is trying to deal with this the best way he can. My advise if you know you love him and he loves you MARRY HIM.
2007-04-15 18:09:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are ready to marry this man, that means you know him inside and out right? Does he seem like a bad guy to you? If there were any red flags to his personality, you'd know it by now. If there's a child support case going, it could be for a lot of different reasons. Like my future stepdad is going through a divorce, and his ex-wife is trying to claim his dog just to spite him. His ex could be really petty like that. But if you love him, you trust him, so try not to worry about it.
2007-04-15 17:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by lovelydragonprincess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok so he has a child support case going...what does that have to do with him marrying you? Does it bother you that he may have to pay child support for a child he is financially responsible for or something?
2007-04-16 00:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has experienced a whole lot more of life than you. You need to think about whether you want to experience the whole idea of having a child with someone....or with a pro. I personally, would never go there with a pro. Too much prior knowledge, and OBVIOUSLY ignorance, to bother with that person. If they are having that problem...then they couldn't figure out how to deal with it the first time. What makes you think they will the next time around? You will become a statistic! Sorry....but thats the truth. I know of one person that made a go out of a situation like that. And, I know of more than I can count that didn't. Set your sights high. Think about where you want to end up...then evaluate the person you are with...if they show any signs of not meeting your goal....drop em!
Sad fact....there are a lot of losers in the world!
2007-04-15 17:48:34 · answer #6 · answered by monchicha 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may not be the answer you want to hear. I would strongly consider marrying anyone who has not finished what they started. Don't kid yourself .Take it from someone who knows about divorce. Ask yourself how much time has he allowed to mourn his divorce. What kind of dad is he . If he puts you before his child your in for a rude awakening. Don't let your heart do the thinking for you....get out while you can or date him for a long time. Don't be stupid in thinking your going to make things alright.
2007-04-15 17:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by la cafeterra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Child support is a very real issue, make no bones about it. Every month, he will have to pay a sizable payment. You must decide if your life will be as you expect with him making this payment. If the answer is no, things will NOT get better with marriage, only worse.
2007-04-15 17:51:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
for sure you're actually not married, so I you will would desire to teach paternity first in the past anybody will stress him to pay toddler help. additionally, it incredibly is not a pass over character contest! the father of your toddler has executed no longer something for her, so which you say, and has no longer even volunteered that can assist you help HIS 7-month previous daughter. in spite of in case you have a "good relationship" with him or no longer is immaterial at this component. what's critical permits you to grant for HIS toddler now and into the destiny. era. consult with the interior reach toddler's help or criminal help workplace and notice in the event that they might component you in the appropriate direction in Virginia to start criminal court docket circumstances because of the fact the father lives out of state. and don't be afraid he will "disappear." With immediately's skill to garnish wages according to Social protection Numbers, they might have the skill to song him everywhere he is going. he's basically yet another deadbeat Dad!
2016-10-22 07:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell me he has been divorced two years at least. Honey its rebound if not. You need to talk to his family and ex and force your self to listen hard=why did their marriage not work? Usually his mom will tell it like it is, you better listen. Are you aware of how much easier it is not to be second wife? Be gainfully employed and don't get knocked up for two years if your so dumb to junp into this. Been there! Is he a practicing christian it would be a braker for me if not.
2007-04-15 17:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by kim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋