2007-04-15 17:41:27 · 7 answers · asked by brad m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are selfish.
2007-04-15 17:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a very good question......
Usually there are a couple of reasons..
1) Ego (reputation)has been damaged..
2) Thought of Betrayal... and the emotions involve in recollecting what has been promised turns opposite.
3) Having put in effort in the marriage ... turns out ugly...
4) Concern of ill effects or examples for the children..
5) At a lost of how to manage a single life again with a kid in tow..
6) Thoughts of the burden of raising a child while the other partner is FREE to remarried without any baggage..
After having said all that.....
Question to ask is DOES ALL THESE MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE in your future life...
Most probably not, and it is a hindrance to move forward in life.
What is most practical is to give as much love as possuble to the child and nurture her to be a responsible adult in time to come.
Alot more satisfaction can be attained when you do that and you can get back your life again.
Let the history remain the past... and let go all the memories of the past.. strive for the future...
take care..
2007-04-16 00:55:14 · answer #2 · answered by trymejames 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex kepted me off the birth certificate with one of our two children just to spite me. Gave her a last name which she basically made up. Ad in the paper in the birth announcements of course mentioned nothing of me, or any dad for that matter. Just to spite me. She says that will be an issue between her and her daughter, and she will deal with it when the time comes. She'll hurt our kids just to get a rise out of me because her hatred blinds what is really important. Seeing my son smile is far better to experience than to see hurt on my ex's face,, but ex feels the exact opposite.
2007-04-16 10:16:05 · answer #3 · answered by ckgene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see this happen way too often, and when I approached my divorce I promised myself that this would never happen, too many people with children not only use their hatred for their ex but use their kids to get even, its a game that they think they need to continuously play, and the only one that gets hurt are the kids in the end.... Divorce is the final end to your relationship but being a parent should never end, kids need both parents in this situation.....
2007-04-16 05:45:29 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea. It should be about what's best for the child, not what gives you the most personal satisfaction.
I took the high road in my divorce. I didn't speak badly about her father. I encouraged him to be a father, even a long distance one. I covered for him when he promised gifts and never sent them. I didn't lie, but I didn't find it necessary to burden her with my anger or frustration.
Of course, I was also financially self-sufficient, which makes it much easier.
When she was 16, she asked outright if he paid his child support regularly. I told her that child support is not tied to love, it's tied to the person's ability to be responsible. And that no, he hadn't been responsible. When she asked me why I never told her, I asked her if she'd ever done without? Gone hungry or naked? Since she hadn't, it really wasn't any of her business.
You have to make sure you're not putting your toxins into your child's life. I firmly believe that. It isn't easy, but it's the right thing to do.
2007-04-16 06:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex left me for another woman who the kids & I regarded as a friend. He was quite happy to have me watch & raise the children (which I wouldn't have any other way), until 9 months later I started dating another man. That's when all the trouble started. My ex couldn't help himself & would think it quite alright to call me names, yell at me & a lot of other abuse was involved. He didn't care when I asked him not to do this sort of thing in front of the children. The worst thing he ever said was in front of our son, that he didn't believe our son was his. that is when I saw red. I didn't yell etc., I just went straight to a lawyer and filed for custody. Obviously I still wanted the children to have contact with their father but with conditions & if he broke these conditions I would go back to court. Well within 2 weeks our son refused to see him & our daughter needed to go to CAHMS. No matter how much I warned my ex not to act like an ass in front of the children (because he would loose them) he just couldn't help himself. Sad to say I was right. Our son hasn't seen his biological father in 6 years & his daughter hasn't seen him in 3 years. Of course he blames me for it & I don't really care as I know the truth. Unfortunately his loss but fortunately my gain. I really believe his ego got in his way. Most of our friends & family (both sides) said he was hoping I'd be waiting in the wings for him if his new relationship didn't work out & he was mighty peeved when I started going out.
2007-04-16 08:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by Vera K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see this far too often in real life. Hate and anger are destroyers of all that can be good in life...these feelings rob you of energy, depress, and make you into someone you do not know...very ugly. It is so easy to let go of things, but many choose to hang on to negative feelings that spill over into all facets of their lives...then they wonder why they are so unhappy. Amazing, isn' t it?
2007-04-16 00:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋