how do i get my husband to help me around the house?

Question

i have to everything around the house and to top it off he won't help with the kids. I need some advice

Answer 1

Tell him is cheaper for him to pay a maid and a nanny than get divorce, so tell him to find another extra-job...
I am angry, because I need a woman like you and I don´t have one, and he´ve already one and doesn´t appreciate her.

Answer 2

Have a serious talk with him let him know you are exhausted with doing all the house work and looking after the kids and you need a break and some help if he loves you he will find a way to help if he refuses i would look further into your relationship and question if this is how you want to continue the rest of your life exhausting yourself because he cant help be an active part of the relationship i mean if you have to do everything alone what is he really doing for you that you're not already doing for yourself -best wishes to you and your family !

Answer 3

Are you a stay at home or working mom? If working, go on strike. That's crap. Both work, both divide the household chores and kids. If you are a stay at home, I feel the majority of this work falls on you. Treat it like a job and get things done. Him feeling appreciated might make him perk up and give you a hand. He should have regular chores that he does as well. Find out what it is that you can't accomplish and hand him a list of his duties. After this, do NOT do them. If they don't get done it falls on him. As far as help with the kids, all parents should be helping with the kids no matter what the situation. Start taking regular nights off. Inform him in advance that you will no longer be available on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Stick to it. Leave. Don't take the kids. Go to the gym, go out with friends. Do something. If none of these things work. There is nothing like a long weekend away with girlfriends to make a husband realize what you are dealing with. When I do this, I come back to a slightly crazed house and husband who is begging me to never go away again! lol. This is followed by long conversations praising what I do...hehe

We can't change others, only our reactions to them. Start reacting differently and see what happens. Tell him how much you appreciate what he does. Praise him like a two year old, he'll catch on. Don't be a nag, this never works. You can also trade sexual favors for household chores. I love this one. (You mop, I blow...etc...not that I wouldn't anyway..but it makes THEM feel like they're getting something out of it....lol)

Good luck!

Answer 4

I had the same problem
I tried the nagging/complaining (backfired, he refused to come home)
I tried going on strike (didn't work, the house was a million times worse when I came off of strike)
I tried asking (sometimes worked)
I tried "withholding" (didn't work, made us both cranky...lol)

Be creative, find something that works for you. My boyfriend now either helps out when I ask, or puts it off until he doesn't remember what I asked him. Have a talk with him, tell him you feel overwhelmed, if he's a decent man he'll help out with a few things. If not, get rid of him. Never ever nag/complain constantly, it'll just cause fights and make things worse. Good luck!

Answer 5

That is always a hard thing to do.
My wife is lucky. I always do. If not, my mother would kill me.
You could explain in a way that will make him feel good that you just don't have energy for him at night. However, if he were to help you more around the house, then you would have a lot more energy for nighttime activities.
I don't know if that's any help. It's often hard to get husbands off the couch without removing the TV first.

Answer 6

This is a touchy issue, but in my case I really watched what he was willing to do, in my hubbys case it was vaccuming. Also he is good at picking up kids toys (his pet peeve) garbage take out. I waited for the right time, and told him he had to help daily with a chore===now choose. Give him a choice, if it doesn't work out make him choose another major daily chore. Show him a choice list, cook and clean kitchen 2 nights a week, or vac, or bathroom, laundry, etc. Follow thru and you will see he will/ or stop doing all till he complies.

Answer 7

unfortunately my experience with the same problem ended in divorce, only my difference was it was my wife that wouldn't do anything. I tried all I could think of and nothing worked ,all she ever said was why do you keep complaining so much,now it's me and our 3 kids and my chores has not really increased much since she left. I can say that the house is cleaner now though, even though I work full time and take care of the kids and the house and the van.

Answer 8

You have to ask for whatever it is that you don't feel like you are getting. You simply have to sit him down and tell him that you need his help in taking care of the house and your children. Let him know that you are tired, and feeling like you really need his help. Don't tell him that he's not helping or that he's being lazy, simply tell him what you need from him. When you see him making an effort to help you, make sure you thank him and let him know that you appreciate his help. I hope he responds positively to your requests. Good luck!

Answer 9

Talk to him and compromise. If he is sitting down watching the game than give him the clothes to fold. If he is in the kitchen making a snack ask him to load the dishwasher. Next time he is in the bathroom hand him the spray and toilet brush. Have him do things when they are convenient for him otherwise you are going to be fighting a uphill battle.

Answer 10

You need to put him in a situation that he has no other choice but to help out with the kids. There are many excuses you can use just to get him invloved. Never ask him to help ... when he feels that you can do the job.

take care