how not to become paranoid about a spouse who strayed but never regretted his activities?

Question

married 20 years.

he is good to kids. and i discovered it only recently -1 year.He had strayed with men and trying hard to stop it . i feel if i leave him he will be a mess.

Answer 1

You can choose what type of person you will be.

Ask yourself which you value more... if given a choice, this would better define your character:

suspicious and guarded? or

loving and faithul?

Your husband's character doesn't define you. Yours does.

His actions simply challenge you to experience more parts of who you are.

Live well~

Answer 2

You will never get over it especially since he has no regrets. I feel sorry for you that he is that cold hearted. People make mistakes but to not regret the hurt he has caused makes him a cold hearted individual that will still make the same mistakes again. Get out now - don't suffer anymore - make a new life for yourself - it will be OK for you if you leave but not OK for you if you stay. Trust me on this! I say this mostly because you say he has no regrets. He will regret when he is old and lonely sitting in his rocking chair with no one that cares about him. He will remember the once upon a time he had someone that cared about him and then he will regret.

Answer 3

Sexuality of any person is his or her own mental characteristic, but when it affects the other life partner sexuality it will be considered as mental cruelty for wants of sex in a matrimonial relationship. Being a homosexual if your husband refuse to any sex with you it definitely cruelty that gives you a ground for obtaining divorce from him on this ground itself. But if you feel the other way & want to deal with his paranoia you require the services of qualified Physiologist for this. How far it will help in his getting his homosexuality obsession removed will depends on his own interest in getting over such paranoia. You say he got into this only a year or so back hence I don’t think much problem. But you say he is not regretting his such behavior or activities, well let him not be forced for any apologies at the moment what is important to get him rid of this paranoid first.

Answer 4

U must make your moves on a war footing, there is no time to be paranoid. Find out who is the sweet charmer. Instead of becoming paranoid, play the vamp, do everything to charm your prince back.
Arguments, fights, nagging, whining etc. will only drive him away. He is yours, fight to get him back, by all means, using all your charms and wits. Once he is fully yours, you can hammer some sense into him. But for now, the war has to be won, the moves of the sweet charmer has to be foiled, and remember, all is fair in love and war.

Answer 5

I'm Freelances wife, and almost everyone knows I strayed so
here it go, I wished it never happened because to this day theres a little something in between us thats not ever going away!
In short that feeling from an observable point of view will never go away!
An he never deserved to have it happen to him either I just wanted to be selfish and did nothing but hurt the man I love!

Try this my husband does it write down your feelings for that day and then burn them, and tell yourself it will not affect your day today!

Answer 6

i made the mistake of telling my husband of 20 years that it was ok for him to tell me because i already knew that he was unfaithful. i was lying . i really didnt know, i was just checking. to my surprise, he confessed to something that happened 8 years prior.
there is never going to be enough regret and remorse on his part to ease your heart.
unfortunately you become the bad guy for not being able to forget.
men dont really regret cheating, just getting caught.
thats the way they are made.
you have to remember that you do not own any other human.
you cannot control anyone's behavior. only your own self. it sounds like he really doesnt care about your feelings. most men dont. you either have to accept it, or hit the ground running and dont look back.

Answer 7

good reason is he know that you will take him back , that why
he does not regret what he does. think about it , if you had
put your foot down along time ago,he would handle this
a little better dont you think. he would not be with me if
he strayed, he could stay where he strayed to.

Answer 8

U cannot!! u Have to be paranoid!! Actuali the spouse who strayed got to be killed!!

Answer 9

You need to pray to God. I suggest the book Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omaritian

Answer 10

You can't not be paranoid about it, because if he doesn’t regret it/isn’t remorseful, then there is a VERY HIGH chance that he will do it again.