we both work full-time and split the household bills 50/50.plus since we live in an apartment he has no outside "man" jobs to do(ex mowing,painting,fixing things)but i have a hard time just getting him to take the trash out.he will say things like "we dont have any clean dishes?" where i would just clean a dish if i needed one.
2007-04-15 16:15:15 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes i have asked him and he will say things like "ill do it later" but later never comes.or he will say you have friday off do it then.well i don't want to spent my whole day off cleaning.how can i get him to help me out?
2007-04-15 16:17:04 · update #1
Doesn't seem like much of a 'man' if he expects others to do things for him that he can very well do himself, if he doesn't do his fair share of the work that needs to be done. More like a spoiled child, really.
Maybe you can teach him how to be responsible, in much the same way you would teach a child. Sticker chart, maybe? List of jobs that need to be done around the house & time that they take - then have him get a star for every hour that he works towards his fair half of the work. Not sure what you'd give him for a reward for filling out his chart - seems kind of ridiculous to have to reward an adult for doing what they really should be doing, anyway.
2007-04-15 16:32:20 · answer #1 · answered by Maureen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to have this problem with my bf but then I realised if I say "Hon it would really help me if you could do the dishes or I would really appreciate if you could clean up the bedroom etc" I have also learnt that you need to say a time frame. Like can you please do (whatever you want him to do ) before dinner, or in the next five minutes.
What I have realised about men generally is that they see the dishes need to be done and will say oh there is no clean dishes and walk away. Where as women look at the dishes and think Oh i will have to do the dishes.
Women are able to multi task and think I need to cook dinner do the dishes put a load of laundry on etc etc. Men are looking for a clean fork and see all the dirty dishes and all they are thinking is that they need a clean fork.
You need to understand how they work to be able to make it work for you.
Hope this helps.
2007-04-15 16:43:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You clearly have a partnership. Since you both work full time, and split bills 50/50. Then the rest of the partnership should be enforced as well. He can cook, clean, do dishes & laundry, just as easily as you. Men have a tendency to take a back seat, when women take on the home chores. Let those chores slide a few times, and see what his reaction is.
2007-04-15 16:23:02 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life's daily chores don't always divvy out equally but you shouldn't be the only one responsible for washing dishes, cooking, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, etc, etc, etc. Since he doesn't have the so called "man" chores - I agree with you that he should at least pitch in a little. But that is a "man's way" so to speak and unfortunately they somehow still maintain the attitude that the cleaning etc. is "woman work". Let this give you a clue as to what life would be like if he actually had to mow the lawn or shovel the driveway.
2007-04-15 16:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he should help clean the apartment too. does he seem to have the idea that only women are the ones responsible for house cleaning? he's just lazy! explain to him that u both work and u both feel tired and it's not only him that undergoes this kind of hard work.
the key word is 'communication' and if he doesnt act now, u cant imagine how he'll be after marraige! just do what u have to do and the things that should be done by him, leave them alone until he does it himself if u dont feel like talking to him. he'll get the point.
2007-04-15 16:25:21 · answer #5 · answered by evanescent_eclipse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at first, i understand i'm no longer a guy yet i'm gonna answer in any case. It incredibly relies upon at certainly one of those guy. yet yeah various fellows like harmless females, and a few like dumb females who fake the have a concepts of a 5 year old. yet maximum men are not frequently fascinated in certainly one of those woman who "pretends" to be dumb and harmless for an honestly relationship on condition that i might desire to appreciate that they might honestly get uninterested in that style of woman on condition that she acts like she does not understand something. And the lads ur speaking approximately probable purely supply her that style of interest while she's around becuz they understand they are in a position to honestly use her and then unload her. Sooo yeah
2016-12-26 09:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what a co-worker of mine did to her live-in BF - she is a single mom with a full time job. She kicked him out. He had to go live with a friend of his for awhile. I am happy to say that they are back together; expecting a baby and yes he cleans and he makes a wonderful, tasty bar-b-que. lol :0)
2007-04-15 16:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by 954 * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to help, find a room-mate that will. He's giving you a good chance to see what life would be like if you were married to him.
50/50 should include housework, cleaning and cooking!
2007-04-15 16:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by Wilhelmina F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
split the bill like 40 yours and 60 his,he will get the picture,mean but works.
2007-04-15 16:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should sit down with him and tell him this isn't a one way street, if you are sharing all the household expenses there's no reason why he shouldn't be sharing the household up keep
2007-04-15 16:20:11 · answer #10 · answered by melstar#1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋