not happy with sex life, what should I do with my wife?

Question

The reason I still stay in the family is because I love my kids. I am in my mid 30 now, we marry around our mid 20s. Back then, we only had sex maybe 1-2/week, sometimes 1-2 for 2 weeks, so average less than 1.5/week. she said women want much sex when they are over 30s. now we are both in our mid 30s. that average is still the same and it has been that way. Sometimes, no sex for weeks, when I didn't talk to her, she knew that I was angry then she asked me for sex. The problem is I already express my feeling to her so many times in the past. I am not very demanding in term of sex but for my age, I do need more than that. And I don't want to tell her every time since I think it is the couple's thing, she should know it and no need for me to bring it to her all the times. I thought about to leave my family many times, but I don't want to leave the kids behind and they need a complete family. I always thinking to leave after they get marred, but that maybe twenty+ years late,AH?

It's been almost 10 years like that,so she know it so well that I am not happy lots of times. I've spent more than a few nights sleep on sofa, and for one or twice I even hint that she may regret for this kind of relationship...

Answer 1

Well, since you want to stay for the kids, you might want to step outside the relationship, IF it's only sex that you want. It seems like this problem is getting worse, so let her know, give her the ultimatum. It might not sound nice, but it is the truth, and maybe she just might take this more seriously.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Women in a committed relationship don't want to just have sex; they want to make love. There are children in the home you said.

If you both work ; how much effort are you putting into Sharing the household and child care duties--I said sharing, NOT helping? It's hard to work, take care of children and turn into a sex goddess like it is a magic trick. If she doesn't work outside the home then taking care of kids 24-7 is an exhausting job.

Don't believe me, give mom the weekend off...tell her to go shopping, movie, hair, library, women's group, etc and you take over ALL the domestic chores, child care etc. When she comes in all refreshed from her mini holiday, have the kids in bed, a candle light dinner, her favorite meal all ready to enjoy.
You're freshly bathed, shaved, teeth brushed and are well groomed. After the meal watch a romantic comedy or a tear jerking love story and no comments about how dumb etc the movie is.

Are you complementing her about the little things all the time, not just when you want to get her in the sack. Think positive, act positive. Negative remarks leave her feeling less than sexy. Foreplay begins in the mind, can last all day. You don't tell her all the things she's doing wrong before you go to bed and expect her to feel sexy when you hit the sack. It just won't work.

Technique: Ask her what she likes to do in the sex department? No, not while you're in the bedroom and grabbing the candy. And no, most women really aren't turned on by YOUR Penthouse magazines.

Speaking of books, there are a few out there about what women really like in the sex department. Buy a few, read them. Discuss them with her after the kids are in bed.
NO sex at this time, Romeo, discussion; ask her what she thinks she'd like.

Slow dancing, cuddling and long slow kissing are good, try that some without pushing for sex. Tell her that you want to play at being Teddy Bears.Code words for "no sex-just loving and saying you care".Back rubs and neck nibbles are good within this teddy bear phase,

And by the by, she's probably picked up big time on your negative vibes about family life and her personally. That doesn't bode well for the romance in a marriage. Body language and attitude can be a killer in the romance department.

Here's a few thoughts I'd like to share:
Being married takes commitment. It also can take hard work.
I've seen a lot of marriages fall by the wayside over the years.
Ever notice how spouses will treat their loved ones with less courtesy, how they insult one another, how they complain about one another's faults--WHEN they Wouldn't get by with actions like this in the work place and keep their job. Look into a clear mirror at yourself. How hard are you working at the romance in your marriage? Do you talk to each other, do you treat your spouse as well as you'd treat a new lady that you'd like to date? Do you treat her as well as you treat your co-workers?

Do you complain about her to your buddies? Do you put her down at family or friendly gatherings? Is she the blunt of jokes that you tell? Do you treat her with respect when she's talking or expressing an opinion? Do you hurry home from work to spend time with her and the kids, or do you make excuses not to come home and go out with someone else instead? Do you Share yourself, your inner self, your essence with her?

Your spouse should be your best friend, your beloved. If you're not treating her like she is your best friend and your beloved, then you are cheating her and yourself out of a good marriage. If you are letting someone, anyone or anything be more important than your marriage and your spouse-- then, you are shortchanging your spouse and yourself.

Try thinking and acting positive in your marriage. The grass is not greener over the other side of the fence. Love changes over time...if you're lucky, and work hard at keeping Love alive....Love grows richer, stronger and fuller over time.

Answer 3

here is the deal. Your spouse isn't enjoying intercourse almost as much as you're and she or he's attempting to discover a advantageous thank you to get you to back off. settle for her attempt gracefully and back it off to 2 -3 days a week. do no longer *****. do no longer concern her. in simple terms enable her be for a on the same time as. while she seems gentle, perchance you may start a verbal replace approximately techniques to extra valuable met her desires.

Answer 4

You and your wife need to visit a sex toy store and/or watch some porn together. You guys need to be more comfortable with the idea of sexual exploration and opening up to eachother.

Answer 5

do you have young children? is she a stay at home mom, atually working outside the home is rough, too. i bet the real answer is you... no offense but she is probably dying! she is bored with your routine techniques and needs to fell like she is with someone new, which of course is not possible, so why not make her feel your moves are new?

Answer 6

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Answer 7

initiate sex more often