My husband and I are best friends, we just aren't in love anymore. We have a little girl together whom we both love more than life. I would like to get a divorce kit from Office Depot and file myself since I cannot afford an attorney. The house we live in is his. It is my daughter's home and I do not want to sell it. I would like to continue living together (we've slept in separate bedrooms for 7 yrs) as roommates. I think it will be less expensive for him than paying alimony and child support, and I definitely cannot afford an apt alone. I am not seeing anyone, neither is he, we just aren't happy together. How can I approach the situation with him and explain that I'm trying to help us both financially, and it will be better for our daughter to have Mom and Dad together under the same roof, even though we're not married any more?
2007-04-15 15:30:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That would be idea if he would go for it, it would also help your daughter. But thinking ahead, will either one of you feel comfortable with that arrangement when you do decide to start seeing someone? Just tell him like you did on here and or write up a plan and show it to him to he his reaction. The plan could be about who pays what in the household, things like that, so that he gets a better idea of what your asking him to do. It would be wonderful if all couples could be like this and I hope it works the way you would like for it too.
2007-04-15 15:46:40 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know an attorney can be expensive, but so can going back and correcting mistakes! You have a child, so you definately should have an attorney. Don't leave this to chance. You may all get along fine now, but what happens when you both start dating again. Do you bring your date home to the home you have with your ex? What if your ex wants to get remarried, are you still going to live as a roommate? This arrangement is just weird! An attorney could at least give you a rundown of the legal issues you are going to face. Besides, if you both are really in agreement on how things should go, an attorney won't be as much as you think.
2007-04-15 16:25:03 · answer #2 · answered by Jill R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get legally advice and can probably get it from a free city office in your state. Call and see. what appears friendly at first can turn ugly when the other person moves on. If he gets another woman where does that leave you for the two of you raising your daughter. It is unreal of you to expect for him or yourself not to move on in your lives and the other people to accept never being able to complete the cycle because you two are still living together until the child has grandchildren. Just get the consultation and go form there. All it will do is inform you of what your options are. Good for the two of you to be able to be kind for the sake of your child. I can not see why the two of you can not turn that kindness towards each other and stay together. Your hearts can soften again without bitterness. The grass is not greener on the other side, but is harder to recross.
Before walking away, be sure that you have done all you can do. This is why I have peace when I walked away from my awful marriage. Take car and good luck to all of you!
2007-04-15 15:47:47 · answer #3 · answered by Arene 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should check the phone book or ask around you can find services where the person doing the paper work is actually the secretary for a lawyer and they will make sure that the paper work is properly done. they'll give you certain paperwork to fill out and then you give it back to them and they fill in all the lines necessary then you get it back both of you sign it and give it back to them. It'll be better for the both of you especially if you agree on things. It might even be cheaper than getting the paperwork from office depot which by the way you can also get for free from the courts website
2007-04-15 15:57:29 · answer #4 · answered by Darrell V 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if neither of you have an attorney, then i think it would be fine to get a divorce without legal counsel for yourself.
however, if HE gets an attorney, you will probably need one, too because the attorney knows his way around the law and will probably be able to get more of a settlement (if there is one) for your husband.
i don't see why you're getting a divorce, if you are already sleeping in separate bedrooms, unless you have a notion to want to date other people. if this is the case, you will probably have to think about getting a job and moving out. i think that your dating would cause big problems with your husband, regardless of whether you are married or not....
i can see quite a lot of advantages for you if you'd remain under the same roof, but not much for him.
just my two cents. take care, and i hope things work out.
2007-04-15 15:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand what you hope to achieve with divorce.
It is financially to your tax benefit to be marital status. to share a home and all the expenses that go with it also for insurance purposes and once you become grandparents it will make it less confusing for the grand children and when you approach your later years together..
100 reasons to stay married and 0 to divorce.
To divorce would be to mess up your life.
The statement you made is contradictory. You obviously care about his financial well being. Which mean you care about him.
That is love. You care you provide for your child. That is it. That was your purpose on Earth fall in love have a child and teach her . Once you have a child the child becomes the focus of life not your own whims.
2007-04-15 15:46:18 · answer #6 · answered by granny_sp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends what state you are in, but I divorced my ex-husband without lawyers in Illinois - we are on friendly terms and have a 7 year old son we are splitting custody on equally so he isn't paying child support. I am not living with him, though - I am remarried now. We used the paperwork at www.divorcesource.com. As long as you can reach a settlement, you're golden. It only took 3 weeks for me from when I filed until it was final.
2007-04-15 16:24:44 · answer #7 · answered by industengr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might be able to do all the paperwork yourself
and then pay a lawyer only for the amount of time
to review it.
However, it is potentially a very complex issue
and it is notorious for causing heartache down the line.
I really worry about custody in the event that all of
a sudden you hate him.
2007-04-15 15:33:38 · answer #8 · answered by Elana 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's not a good idea. there are so many loopholes in the law and they are easy to fall through. i'm sure you are both good friends, now. but you better think about the future. you would be surprised at how many best friends turn to worst enemies. if it were just you and him, well ok, but you have children to consider.
2007-04-15 15:35:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what is at staek is there prooperty, retirmeent , child support n alimony at steak? if so get urslef a lawyer
2007-04-15 17:03:05 · answer #10 · answered by lady26 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋