He tells me he is a private person andthat he just doesn't like sharing his personal life with them because they are always judging him. As well, he only has a cousin here whom he lived with prior to me. The rest of his family live in there country, however they don't know about me either.
2007-04-15 14:36:22 · 21 answers · asked by Mari 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me as if your friend has only 'his' plans for you and they may not be in the longevity category. You should have a real heart to heart talk with him and find out his intentions. You can't be serious about someone and their family has no idea about you. Is he ashamed? Are you another culture? Religion? There are reasons he won't share you - and being private might just be one excuse. I'd get out of that relationship and live by myself.....
2007-04-15 14:40:35 · answer #1 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friend went through this... It drove her crazy.... First of all, how long have the two of you been together? If under 6 months, than this would be OK, actually very normal. Most men are private with their personal lives and open up with time. If they are close with their family, they may want to make sure that you are THE ONE before he combines these important relationships. Many are protective of over-bearing mothers or afraid of looking foolish in case things don't work out. However, if you two have been together for a substantial amount of time, it is a valid concern for you to have that he hasn't even mentioned that you exist. I would bring it up in a honest, but NON-PUSHY or demanding way. It's OK to voice your concern so as not to build a resentment, but keep in mind that people tend to become very defensive when it comes to their family relationships and that men tend to run away from controlling women. They do NOT like to answer to anyone concerning how they communicate with their Mum. Good Luck!
2007-04-15 21:53:22 · answer #2 · answered by Molly214 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose you can accept that just for the fact that they aren't anywhere near. Maybe he'll change his mind and tell them if you get really serious and start toward marriage. However, on the other hand, he sounds extremely non-committal and maybe you should be asking him what he's looking to get out of your relationship. If he's not going to pop the question eventually, maybe you don't want to be with him. If he was serious about you, don't you think he'd acknowledge your existence to everybody?
2007-04-15 21:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider how long you have been together and ask him clearly if he thinks you two can have a life together.
If he gives you a vague answer....Start weighing your options.In my experience, if a guy is serious about you he will introduce you to his family. IF he doesn't, it's because he's still doubting whether or not you're the right one....
Good luck.
2007-04-15 21:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things: He is really a private person and do not want his family to judge him or you or he has something to hide. Please do not be quick to judge. Investigate a little more before you act upon it. How? you will have to work that one out. Good luck.
2007-04-15 22:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by nisey0069 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't see your relationship as serious enough to introduce you yet. Or maybe he's being truthful and they do judge everything he does and he's only sparing the both of you a lot of arguments and heartache. So you can either stay with him and just brush it off...or you can leave.
2007-04-15 21:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by traceylenore 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's either ashamed of you or them. But maybe their just really judgemental, and he doesn't want them to make yo ufeel bad even though you're totally awesome, they will find something to nit pick at and he wants to save both of you th humiliation. If you are meant to be eventually you will meet his parents.
2007-04-15 21:42:20 · answer #7 · answered by sarah f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he never said he was embarrassed of you, so don't jump the gun.
However, tell him that it's important to you that if you're um LIVING TOGETHER, that this is sort of a serious relationship. It does sound important to you.
And his answer will determine what you are to him, from then on, Good luck to you :)
2007-04-15 21:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has no contact with his family, don't worry about it. If he spends time with them, he needs to include you. Their judging shouldn't be a problem for him...it should be something he is used to and if he leaves you out when he goes there or talks to them--he has a problem.
2007-04-15 21:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by Smooch The Pooch 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel about this? If you do not like it, then disappear! Love yourself and know what you want to accept or not beyond what he thinks and want. You have feelings!
"Now That’s Love"
I know what love is like:
Truly loving someone is giving them the freedom to love you or not
Truly loving yourself is choosing to be someone who uses that freedom to love you
Yea, now that’s love
June 19, 2006 by Arene
2007-04-15 21:41:27 · answer #10 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋