My husband has been chatting with an old girlfriend of his from 5 years ago, on his my space page, she knows were married and she's married as well. I don't mind him chatting with her but he doesn't know that i know and I don't understand why he's not telling me. What should I do?? I am afraid to tell him that I know.
2007-04-15 13:18:09 · 34 answers · asked by Kelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has told her about me. from what i can gather.
2007-04-15 13:33:53 · update #1
Personally I think he doesn't want to tell me because then he thinks I will turn around and do the same thing to him.
2007-04-15 13:58:29 · update #2
Kelly...I looked at some of the other questions you have asked on yahoo...you need to talk to him and get things straightened out or move on with your life. I don't really think you are okay with his chatting....and I cant say that I blame you....get all this stuff sorted out...life is tooooo dam short to live the way you are.
Best of luck
2007-04-15 13:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would bother me a lot if my husband was chatting with an ex and didn't tell me about it. Turn it around...if you were doing this, how would he react?
Over a quiet dinner, when things are cool, I would say that my curiosity got the best of me...(bored)...and I looked into his my space. He may not like this, but oh well...The more important thing is what he says about not telling you....about the ex.
We have to pay real close attention to what's going on in our relationship. Long term marriages don't just happen...they take work.
If there is love, caring, attention, healthy sex life, humor...all the good stuff, most marriages survive 'little mistakes'.
Forgiveness is grand. :-}
2007-04-15 13:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by Eve 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a communication problem that is/may be workable. The first thing is to talk to your husband at a neutral time and not the dinner table. Tell him you noticed that he is communicating with an old girlfriend. The second is; is there a problem that the two of you need to discuss? The third is; I feel like we need to spend that same time talking for our marriage. The fourth is; I really feel slighted and love you very much, but I am afraid that if this continues, it may grow into a problem for us.
If he doesn't stop, then a counselor is needed to step in to help with the addiction of another woman. My advice is to continue to date and be intimate. Usually these are problems.People deserve to have an honest, loving spouse and a happy relationship. Good luck and God's Blessings.
2007-04-16 00:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by hot wheels 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear: marriage problems please help.?
When a women doesn't mind her husband chatting with her old girlfriend from 5 years ago...just remember something. Five years ago, things were probably much better that NOW. ..and so with that I mean that, there isn't anything more beautiful and gratifying that trusting your husband, which also shows that you are very much secure in your relationship and you have self esteem and you are mature and you can hold it together. I know curiosity kills the cat ! We always want to know...more. and with that i ask you, Why were you spying on him. One who is looking it's likely to find...now you got yourself into trouble. I think that if your feel that secure yo should have not spy on him, so I believe you need to come clean. Communicate with him...in the end your cross a boundary, faced up to it and hope that now he makes it so you won't be able to spy any more...because clearly, he doesn't trust you now. So even. Keep your eyes open, girl.
god bless you...me
in Patillas, PR
2007-04-15 13:40:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
(1) Ask him about my space and who is he chatting with. See if he volunteers the information, and then take it from there. (2) Or asking him casually, how is the old girlfriend doing, and this will open the topic. (3) Just say you noticed that he has been chatting with this person and how is this person doing.
I don't think you should ignore it. In order to build a stronger marriage and have the trust between you grow, you need to open up this topic with him.
2007-04-15 13:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kelly try not to make a big deal of it right now, but what you must do is talk to your husband. Ask him in different mood like you want to know if there's something that he needs to tell you ,or if something is bothering him. Or you can even be direct like hows your friend on line?, ask if she's doing fine. From there you will see if your husband is hiding something from you, but I think his not. Just be honest with him, tell him that one day you saw who he was talking on line. If you don't do this now, that chatting will get worst like meeting each others and all. This is all in your hand,don't just wait for it to happen for your sake.....
2007-04-15 14:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a time, where you can be uninterrupted, and ask him in a calm, non accusatory way, what he thinks about married people having a private relationship with other married people. His response to the question should give you a clue of what he is thinking about his relationship.
Based upon his response, you can ask him more detail about his beliefs of philosophy about extra marital relationships. You will find out what you need to know.
After obtaining an understanding of where he is at with this and if you are not satisfied with his answer, you could then confront him with the information you know.
2007-04-15 13:23:35 · answer #7 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you afraid to tell him? Would he harm you? If so, then maybe you need to just wait it out. If he is chatting with someone else, then you may want to ask him to talk and when you do, don't do it as an accusation. Say, (when I found out or whatever you want to say here), I feel hurt or disappointed or what ever you are truly feeling. The word feel has such power. Hopefully he will be honest with you. He may be just curious, but he needs to spend his time with you, not on line with someone else. Good luck.
2007-04-15 13:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by Jan C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that I know and confront him about it. Past relationships with the opposite sex should remain in the past. She should be talking to her own husband and not yours. You don't know if the old girlfriend is in a happy marriage with her husband and looking for some excitement in her life with your husband. If it was all innocent than why hasn't he mentioned her to you? I would be totally uncomfortable with that......Can read what they are saying to each other? Maybe sit back and observe what is being discussed between them and see if ever brings her up to you. Then get him on it!
2007-04-15 13:30:01 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through that a few months back. The only reason that I found out about it was because the email account that his myspace is under is one of our shared accounts. I checked that email address to check for a letter from a friend, and I found where she had sent him all these messages. I hate to admit it, but I know his password and so I got on his myspace to see what was going on. I hadn't even know that she was one of his friends. They were all innocent messages, she was asking how his parents were and how me and our kids were(I have met her several times). So later that day I asked him about it. He said that he was sorry for not telling me. I was upset because, if it was all innocent (and it was) why were they doing it through messages instead of on the comment parts. If it is really bothering you that bad you need to ask him about it. You will feel much better about it when you know what's going on. By the way, my husband and I are doing great, and he deleted her from his friend list.
2007-04-15 17:16:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lulu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋