my mother and her loser boyfriend moved in am i too?

Question

my mother and her boyfriend moved in with me they came all they way from ny i live if fl. my husband and i are trying to get their crap together. my mothers boyfriend tried to get a job and he failed the drug test with he finally got a job he said his back hurts went to er now he isnt working. my mother cooks and leaves out the food on the stove all night long and i have to get rid of it the next day. i have a nice house and i like to keep it clean and they dont put things back where they belong and they left dirty socks on my counter and he yells and swears and we dont do that here, so we are always telling them the rules do n swearing in the house , put thing back where they belong and well my mothers boyfriend is mad that i say those things and he told my mother he wants to move back home. do you think i am too pickey with my house ? do you think i have too many rules? please tell me. these are my rules no swearing , no yelling, put things back where they belong

Answer 1

I think you said it - it is YOUR house and they are invited or rather "uninvited guests".

Having your mom and her bf come over is no different than having kids come to stay with you - the rules would still apply.

I would suggest to them that if they don't like the rules they can feel free to find another place or if they are having difficulty following the rules they can find another place to stay.

Answer 2

These are your rules and whoever is a guest in YOUR house should follow those rules.

I'm a messy person, but when I'm at my boyfriend's house I try to keep on top of things and be tidy. It's called respect and consideration. It sounds like you have been very considerate by letting them stay in your house - now they need to show you some back.

Why are your mom and her boyfriend living with you? And also, if her boyfriend wants to go home, why doesn't he?

You don't have too many rules. It's your house! They can either stick to the rules or get out. Personally, I'd give them a trial period of a week. If they haven't sorted out their mess and changed their ways, can you ask them to leave?

Good luck - you haven't done anything wrong.

xx Emmie

Answer 3

Not at all, you are simply asking that they respect you and your home. he is being unreasonable and obviously does not want to help out financially. Your mother is kind of stuck in between a rock and a hard place, she is probably trying to please him but does not seem to realise that she has no respect for your home. You need to sit down with your mother and have a heart to heart. Tell her calmly that you feel her boyfriend is disrespectful towards you and that if you were in her house, you would follow her rules. Ask her to speak to him and let him know that he is in someone else's house and that he should follow the rules. I understand this may be hard as it is your mother but it needs to be said. Speak to her alone, that way she will not feel like she is being bullied and if it comes to it, give her an ultimatum, smarten up or go home. He sounds quite lazy from what you say, as does your mother at times, and you should not be cleaning up after them. Good luck. x

Answer 4

Your mother and her boyfriend are older than you. You shouldn't even need to tell them to clean up after themselves.

You're not being too picky with your house. It's your house, and they're living with YOU, not vice versa. Your rules apply, and as a courtesy and as adults, they should be obligated to follow those rules.

I think they act like children and your mother's boyfriend sounds like a lazy ****.
If you really can't stand it anymore, let them move out or tell them that them living there is a bad idea, and that both parties would be better off without the other.

So in short, they're leeching off you.
If I were you, I'd just get myself some Leech Be Gone and be done with it.

Answer 5

No. You're not too picky about your house.
No. You do not have too many rules.

Your rules of no swearing, no yelling, and putting things back where they belong are excellent.

Here is another to tell your mother's loser boyfriend..."No shacking up in my house!"

Of course, make it clear to your mother she is always welcome in your house. Also, let her know she deserves a better man than the one she has.

Your mother's boyfriend is mad? GOOD! Let the agitation serve as his incentive to head back to New York.

Use good judgment in getting him out of your house (without harsh words so as not to send him over the edge), but if necessary, call the local authorities and have him safely removed.

I hope your mom can let him go back to New York by himself so she can get on her feet in Florida.

Keep your rules. As a matter of fact, post them where they can be seen.

Much success to you and your family.

Answer 6

Well i would give them the once in a life time opportunity either they adhere the the house rules for the period of there stay or leave not negotiable you may
obliged to give shelter to you mum but the boyfriend no. Regards

Answer 7

I am sorry that your Mother and bf have made bad choices in their lives. You and your husband cannot get them on track. I suggest the two of you sit down and talk about how you can get these people out of your home. They need to go home or wherever they came from. You don't owe them anything. Good luck.

Answer 8

not at all it is your house you have a right to have the rules you do and your mother and her boyfriend should respect that because they are in your house your a grown woman if I was in your position I would have a talk with both of them if it was me I would tell them that they need to respect your rules and your authority in your house or they should leave that's just me though Good Luck

Answer 9

That "boyfriend" has alot of cohones moving in with you and your husband. That is your house, to HELL with what ANYONE thinks woman!!!!! If your mother and that free loading loser don't contribute soon, throw them both out! I am telling you, it's only a matter of time before you and your husband stsrt feeling the pressure of those two free loading, no cleaning, always eating elephants!!!!! If I was you, I'd throw BOTH of them out tomorrow, for crying out loud!!!!!

Answer 10

You've become the parent. How sad to see so many adults acting like spoilt teenagers! You have every right to impose as many rules as you wish...it's YOUR house! Good luck

I'd encourage them to move back "home".